Ahhh, c’mon, I know I put that thing in here somewhere!

This is preposterous! Socks don’t just “disappear” like when mommy or daddy have my nose!

What?

Oh, well hello there, fellow bambinos! Are you tired of your parents putting socks on you when you have a hard floor and you’re just learning to walk? Slip much? Geez, I sure do! So I made a quick tutorial on how to remove your socks sock.

Yeah, it would’ve been “socks”, but I already took one off and lost it in that box.  Oops….not my proudest moment. I’m typically good about keeping track of things. For instance, my wooden duck walker and Catch Me Kitty are strategically placed behind me to make sure either mommy or daddy trips over here. It’s only fair if they put things on me that make fall, no?

All you need to know is how to take off one, and then you do the same with the other anyway. So, first thing you do is grab your sock-covered toes and start pulling up. Sometimes you have to pull hard and it might even stretch your leg more then you’d like.

Okay, by stretch I mean hurt, but we have to remain strong. No crying!

Crap, panic is setting in, this thing won’t budge! Just bare (ha ha, get it, “bare” as in bare feet?) with me, use both hands, and keep your composure. See? Like me with my face of fortitude!

Unheard of. This sock is the devil and it can go to hail! Or I think that’s what they call it. It’s angry face time…..NO CRYING!

Ahhh, forget it! We’re all doomed to spend the rest of our lives single-socked! Okay, cry NOW!!!!

And this concludes my sock removal tutorial. Enjoy your Friday, bambinos, I think I’ll just sit here and watch my caterpillar from a distance….