Is anyone else annoyed with how things that toddlers do are quickly labeled as a phase? Saying “Oh, little Susie took off her diaper and is peeing on the floor? Yeah, that’s a phase, it’ll end soon.” or “Tommy keeps hitting is dad in the privates. It’s just a phase, hopefully he’ll stop.”
Whatever the action, calling it a “phase” just seems like the easy way out. Hey, maybe it is a phase, but c’mon, maybe our kids are acting out for some other reason, maybe we’re not doing something right.
That’s how I feel when Avery acts appalled when I simply acknowledge her presence and ask her a question or just say “Hi”.
This usually occurs in the morning when Going Mom is home and all Avery cares about is being stuck to her side. I swear, she’s like lint on a fleece blanket right out of the dryer. I may or may not of just finished removing lint from said fleece blanket…..
Kelley reassures me it’s just a phase, as we’ve used to explained many things Avery has done and is doing, but it still hurts regardless. When you crouch down with arms open wide and ask for a hug from your kid and all they do is run the other way crying (seriously), it’s hard not to feel like scum.
It comes and goes in waves, but each time is no less severe than the last, I take it like a hard punch to the gut, only in my heart. I know, I know, not trying to be all “woe is me”, but I don’t get it. I’m on Cloud 9 when we’re playing like the best of buds and she’s giving high-fives like a pro.
Followed by a fun flipping session and you’d think we’re always inseparable.
But then there are times when I can’t even walk up to her without her building up to let out a scream of objection from me getting too close.
Thankfully, it’s not an all day phase. Usually in the mornings and early evenings, when Mommy’s home, is when she’s in her Daddy Dislike mode. The rest of the time things are cool, with or without my dear wife there. Really, who can blame her? I love being around my wife too, maybe she just has a gift I lack. Besides the obvious boobs, people!
It could be that she lets Avery play with her phone, and, if you look to the top left, you’ll see she comes “bearing” gifts.
Now I’m just trying to rationalize. Phase or no phase, I just want our sweet girl to remain sweet to the both of us and not be repulsed at one of us at a given time. Usually that’s me, very rarely is it Mommy.
Anyone else deal with or dealt with this from their kids? If so, do you have any advice or just want to tell me to shut it and deal with it because it really is just a phase and everything will be fine? Was that a semi-loaded question? Okay, I’m done………for now.
Have a great Friday and weekend! We’re just hoping to stay away from staph and hospitals!
It’s a phase pal, don’t worry about it in a couple of years she is going to be glued to you and Kelley will be the one feeling hurt. However I have heard bribing kids that age with McDonalds french fries and JIF peanut butter works wonders!
Yeah yeah, if only you knew just how much I don’t take the nutrition part as a joke! I want the best for all of us, and that crap is, well, crap! Plus, we bribe with dried seaweed and air-popped popcorn, and of course NuttZo and Banana around here!
Dude, sorry, but you just got to live with it. I really hate to pull a “been there, done that” on you, my apologies, I hate it when people do it to me, but my youngest girl is turning 4 and she is just now slowly coming out of exactly how you say your daughter is treating you when your wife is home. It really is frustrating and worse can make you angry. I really have to recommend you watch yourself and dont let yourself snap into impatience with the situation and even anger. When she takes off clothes because YOU put them on her, or says, “no mommy will do it for me” you are going to get angry. You are going to just have to take it and say “fine, Mommy will do it” and walk away. It does have its good points. You never have to wipe her butt after she is toilet trained because she wants Mommy to do it. And she will scream at you if you try. Bribes of any sort dont work. And then she will be so sweet with you when just you are home and you will think, wait a sec, are you manipulating me? You dont act like this when Mommy is home. Sorry, I could write a chapter on this. Its interesting that you mention it. It seems to be a pattern with kids that they glom onto one parent more when boh parents are home. Luckily my older girl glommed onto me when she was that age, so I got her love. Real sorry for you, but please keep your cool and dont snap and yes it will make you feel like sh.. You ll have to devise some “pick me upper” when you have been rejected. Good Luck.
Thanks for this, I think it’s just what I needed to
hearread. I’m doing fine with managing any anger and have already gotten better about shrugging it off. Along with your talk of seeing the good side by having Mommy deal with toilet issues, I might be perfectly fine with this phase! 🙂You got patience of steel then and that is good. A couple examples of what she may do because she wants Mommy to do it and not you: I mentioned taking her clothes off that you put on, because you were in a hurry and Mommy was doing something else, doesnt matter. Mommy has to do it. Bath time with Mommy and the toughest one, putting food back at the counter because you gave it to her on the table or … and this one could potentially blow your stack, throwing the food on the floor because you served it to her and she wanted Mommy to serve it to her. Patience patience and more patience, and maybe a bit of humor too. Goog luck again and keep those nerves of steel.
All great advice, thanks for the tips man! As for the food, since I’m the sole cook in the house, me serving isn’t an issue. But, the throwing thing is a test to my patience since we only get the good stuff and it takes time to prepare! I’m also very particular about food, as I’m sure you picked up on. But yes, patience is the key word, and my wife and I are both learning to get more of it!