Nothing like starting the day with puns, right? Even if they make you groan, they still put a smile on your face…….usually. At least it’s Friday, and that makes most people smile. Unless you’re reading this after it’s been publish, then I’d guess that it’s another part of the week that ends in y.

Whatever the time of day/week, I hope you enjoy this list of double entendres as much as I do.

Enjoy!

1. I caught my kid sticking a key in a light socket and was so shocked that I grounded him. He’s not the brightest.
2. The man got tired of making sandwiches, so he found a sub.
3. They just opened a chophouse on top of skyscraper I heard the food is good, but the steaks are high.
4. Eggs for breakfast are one of the top five cereal killers.
5. Growing a garden is no big dill, all it takes is a little thyme and plants will cumin. Don’t let impatiens wilt this sage advice.
6. Batman hates wearing jeans and a t-shirt, it’s just not his strong suit.
7. Elsa knew she was in a hot mess when all of her assets were frozen.
8. When he told his wife not to draw her eyebrows on so high, she looked surprised.
9. I’m writing a book about the worst beers in the world. So far it’s just a bunch of rough drafts, I can’t take much lager.
10. After his donut bakery burned down, the baker quit working. He was tired of the hole thing and now his business was toast.
11. The computer wanted to chip in on a game of poker, but it ran out of cache.
12. To get the most bang for your buck when celebrating a special occasion, fire works.
13. I wanted to fly for my next trip, but could get a terminal illness at the airport and forget a flying carpet, that’s too rugged.
14. The high ranking officer tripped over his own feet in front of the large crowd. It was a Major faux pas.
15. She started dating the man after he backed into her car. They met by accident.
16. Never trust a nail, they’re always getting hammered.
17. Making butter leaves no margarine for error.
18. Animals never die, they just carrion.
19. The best sport to play with your ex is tennis since Love means nothing.
20. Some birds don’t think it’s a aviary big concern, but others worry that Global Worming is a result of fowl play.
21. She wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but couldn’t find the manual.
22. I had to drink food coloring after losing a bet. Luckily, I’m not sick, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
23. It’s hard to find leather workers, all they do is hide.
24. The juggler is the toughest guy at the circus, he has the most balls.

I’m always thinking of puns using my surroundings or being inspired by other puns, which mean another random puns post is always a guarantee!