Not much. I’m still confused and trying to figure things out, but I am more comfortable with the role.
I have been able to get Avery to take long naps in her crib without too much fussing. Swaddling, taking queues from yawns and watching the clock are very helpful. Oh, and accepting the crying in my face for a while until she gives into sleep.
Eating while she sleeps is something I need to work on though. I get so excited about the time I have to get other things done, I sometimes forget to actually just sit and eat. For her first nap of the day, I rush to the garage to try and get in a workout. Listening to music while working out is a thing of the past, now I listen to a baby monitor. I’m still trying to learn the lyrics there….
Husband and wife do not always see eye to eye with parenting styles. This is a big a one! If I know she has been fed, changed, and burped, I will let her cry and scratch my chest with those razors nails longer than Kelley will. Kelley will get up, bounce around, change positions, and hum loudly until Avery calms down. Are either of us doing it wrong or right? I don’t think so, it’s just us having our own ways.
Of course we argue over these differences as I’m sure most parents do, but we can also learn from each other this way.
Just last night I tried holding the screaming Avery while laying flat in the recliner. After several minutes of her thrashing and wailing, Kelley told me I’m doing it wrong. I hate being told I’m wrong (even if I am), and usually refuse to do as suggested. C’mon, please tell me I’m not the only one like this!
Anyway, Kelley said I need to sit up and rock so she wasn’t flat. After resisting these instructions, I gave in and did as told. Avery settled down, I then reclined and we both slept. Wife – 1, R.C. – 0.
We’re only 11 weeks into, so there is a lot of learning to come. Hopefully we learn to let each other go about their own methods and only intervene when something is seriously awry.
After making chocolate pancakes and coffee, for Kelley this morning, any argument left from last night is gone and all is well. Until night falls again….
At the end of the day, we are all happy to have our beautiful girl and know that we’re strengthening our relationship by raising Avery together. Yes, a little fighting is healthy, right?
Parents, do you and your significant other have different ways to handle your kids? Be honest, how many fights have started because of this?
When my son was that young, I would spend nights with him
in the recliner. There were often 1:30 a.m. sessions where he wouldn’t stop crying and my wife couldn’t take it anymore, so I’d take him downstairs and try to get him to calm down. It worked maybe 20 percent of the time? And the approach was usually preceded by a frustrated conversation, with me asking her, “Have you tried this? Or *this*?”
Yes, the recliner is a great place for a guy to at least try and solve any issues! It’s always a given there will be an argument when “advice” is given! Thanks for the comment!
It gets better. I think the arguments over different styles early on are natural. My wife and I had them, and still have them here an there, but they are less common. One of her good friends told her when she was going back to work: “Remember. Your husband will handle things differently than you do. It doesn’t mean they are wrong, they are just different.” I think it was great advice for both of us. As kids get older, it is essential that you both be on the same page with parenting styles. For now, though, as a baby? Do what works. Agree that you may do things differently, but if the ultimate goal is achieved that is the key thing. I get the baby to sleep a different way than my wife. In the end, the baby is asleep and we are happy. Deep breaths and taking a step back are key. Work hard to be patient with each other… and keep the chocolate pancake ingredients handy at all times!
Thanks for the encouragement, Mark, I think we have come to this understanding too. The big parts of parenting that come later are pretty set, we both agree on those items. And yes, pancake ingredients are always within reach!
One of my good friends from high school finally popped her baby out a little over a month ago. She made me call her and listen to all her advice (because she’s ALWAYS full of it… *eye roll*), and one of the things she said to me was;
“You and Pap’s (the wife) will not do things the same, and it will cause arguments. Make sure you just talk to each other and be open about ‘babe just because I worry and tell you your doing it wrong, doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, and I’m sorry.”
This was her biggest piece of advice to me. So your post was pretty relevant in my life right now.
Good Luck man! I’ll be in your shoes soon enough!
Robert
http://www.thescareddad.com
Hey Robert, thanks for the comment! That’s definitely great advice there, I learned the hard way! Or maybe I’m just stubborn….
Anyway, right back at you with the good luck wishes and I look forward to following your story on your blog!
If we weren’t stubborn, we wouldn’t be men. Right? Haha.
Ha ha, agreed!