August 2014 - Going Dad

Do you remember the first time you saw a fish? Not filleted and cooked on a plate or those little golden crackers, I mean alive and swimming in the water.

I haven’t a clue about my fishy first, but I had the joy of showing Avery fish for the first time the day when I had to go to the doctor. Yeah, I had to go in for blood work as part of my unsolved issues I mentioned in this post.

So it was the most ideal way to show Avery fish for the first time, but the aquarium in the doctor’s office held several brightly colored species that she took interest in immediately. While waiting, I held her up close to the glass and her eyes would hone in on one, it would wisp away behind corral, and she’d lock onto another gilled guppy nearby.

The entire time we were waiting, Avery couldn’t take her eyes off of the lively underwater melting pot of fish, and I loved being able to experience her seeing something totally new for the first time. This excites me for everything new Going Mom and I expose her to, and going to the zoo will be splendid for sure!

I remember our first attempts at baby-led weaning with carrots and broccoli being the first foods. She had no clue what to do with those veggies at first, but it was a pleasure watching as she finally figured out they were edible eats.

We’re still feeding her the same veggies plus a couple new ones, and she’s still crapping them out confirming they don’t all end up on the floor! Also, as confirmed from her poop, carrots remain as her favorite food. After mommy’s breast milk, obviously.

Which leads me to today’s Friday Foodie Fun Facts. No, not breast milk, although that might be interesting, today I have carrot facts! I’ve changed several staple foods in my diet over the years, but carrots have always been present and welcome.

For those who crave a satisfying crunch without reaching for a bag of chips, carrots are a perfectly healthy option. Dip them in natural peanut or almond butter and I’m good to go! Another favorite of mine, is to dice them up and eat them with milk or yogurt like cereal. Much better than boxed, processed and sugary grain, and you still have a great crunch that never gets soggy!

Carrots have been cultivated for at least 5,000 years and are thought to have originated in Afghanistan. Originally, carrots were white, purple, red or yellow, but not orange.
In the 16th century, the orange carrot was developed in the Netherlands (Yellow carrots were cross-bred with red carrots) in honor of the House of Orange, the Dutch Royal Family.
Most veggies are best eaten raw, but carrots are more nutritious when cooked first. Carrots have tough cellular walls that make much of their nutrients locked up and indigestible. Cooking, however, partially dissolves cellulose-thickened cell walls, freeing up nutrients by breaking down the cell membranes.
Carrots contain more sugar than any other vegetable, except for beets.
The longest carrot ever recorded was 19 feet 1.960 inches.
The heaviest carrot ever recorded weighed 18.985 pounds.
Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was reported to not like carrots.

Are you a fan of carrots?

Ever seen or eaten one a different color than orange? I had the opportunity to buy two large purple carrots a few years ago and thoroughly enjoyed them raw as well as roasted. Look at those massive things! Bugs Bunny would be envious…….his voice? Not so much.

Me: So are you able to tell the sex yet?

Nurse: *Pointing to a little spec on the screen of Kelley’s sonogram* See that there? You’re going to have a boy.

Kelley and Me: *gasp* *enormous grins follow*

Kelley: This early and you can tell, how certain are you?

Nurse: I’ve been doing this for a while and I’m pretty sure that’s a boy.

This was part of the conversation during Kelley’s scheduled sonogram at 13 weeks pregnant. I had always imagined us having a boy, and now it was just “confirmed”.

I wasted no time filling our Amazon baby registry with various boy items from mini kettlebells for kids (yep, there’s such thing) to a multitude of blue themed onesies our boy just had to have. Little Richard Charles Liley III (I’m the Jr/II), was on his way! But then, Kelley had her 18 week sono…

Nurse: …and right here we can see you’re having a girl.

Kelley and Me: *gasp* *no grins, just a look of pure, utter confusion across our faces* “But you told us you were sure we were having a boy!”

Nurse: *calmly* Oh, really? Well, nope, it’s definitely a girl.

Still excited for the fact that we were even having a baby, we walked out of the room with puzzled looks on our faces. Everything we had planned up to this point felt as if it were lost in a deep, meaningless abyss. Before the news, I was pushing to name our future boy after me, but Kelley was reluctant to give in without further discussion first. Clearly, my name was out of the question now that our boy “bump” was actually a girl, and we needed to rewire our thoughts to choose a name!

The name ended up being the easiest decision we made as parents. While walking down the hall of the doctor’s office that day, I was reading baby names hung on the wall from parents that sent the staff pictures of their newborns. Near the end, right before checking out, I read “Avery” out loud and the choice was made; we loved it! Too bad making the changes to our Amazon registry wasn’t as easy.

Since I couldn’t keep my mouth shut after the 13 week “boy sono”, (in Ricky Ricardo voice) I had some splainin to do. Damn you, social media, for making it so easy to spread the word!! Following my announcement that Kelley was actually pregnant with a girl, not a boy, I received many of the “Oh man, you’re in trouble!” and “Just wait until this or that happens.” comments just as Jeff Bogle from OWTK.com recently wrote about on his blog.

I would nod in agreement thinking of how much harder a girl will be since they seemed far more terrifying than raising boys. But, as Jeff explains in his post….

“Yeah, it gets challenging. No shit, Sherlock. Parenting isn’t always Pinterest-perfect cupcakes and Instagram-worthy rainbows, but why would you want it that way anyway?”

He then explains the various reasons people give on why being a father to a daughter is so scary along with his rebuttal on why it actually gets better. According to Jeff, the only thing worth fearing as a dad to a daughter is not being there for her to console, mentor, laugh, cry, and just be a dad as she experiences all that life has to offer. I completely agree with Jeff, and although I feel more confident about being an awesome father to Avery, I still get that worried, “must protect from everything” feeling for so many aspects of her future.

Why is it that so many feel it’s more terrifying for a father to raise a little girl instead of a boy? If I had a boy, I know I’d be less wary of what’s to come and would feel less terrified about the day he goes off on his own. But for Avery, so many things speed through my mind about what could happen as she ventures off into the scary world.

Tony, from DisillusionedDad.com, also read Jeff’s post and then wrote about his own feelings as a father to a daughter and a son. Similar to what I just described, Tony has many fears for his daughter that he does not share for his son. He loves them both to the moon and back, but, just as I feel about Avery, is reluctant to loosen the reigns for his little princess. At the end of his post, Tony mentions how he hopes he is not alone in this feeling of fear for his daughter, and I’m here to say he’s not alone at all.

I think part of the reason, a big part, is that as a guy, we know how guys think. Sure, love and romance is a part of life, that’s how I am married to a beautiful woman/mom, but it’s hard to accept this for our daughter. Do mothers with boys have similar feelings since they know how women view men? I can’t answer that, but if you are a mother with one or more sons, please leave a comment with your thoughts.

I can’t imagine what it’d be like with a son instead of my beautiful daughter, Avery, as my love for her is everlasting and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Similar to Tony’s assessment, I need to fight my natural tendencies to always try and protect Avery from everything, and learn to simply be there for her, as a father, sharing all of life’s experiences.

This post is part of the following awesome parenting link-ups:
<img title=”Welcome Party Wednesday Link-Up”