Bathroom Puns and No More Bottles!

06/12/2015 R.C. Liley 8 Comments

Nothing like a few Friday bathroom puns to pass the time until you officially start the weekend, right? Obviously, I could do more than just bathroom puns, but then I’d never get crap done. Ba-Zinga!!!

Wow, we’re off to a great start already! I’ll be sure to keep things moving to avoid a clogged brain. Butt first, I want to share what makes me so happy to say “goodbye”. We are done with bottles!

As you can see, Avery was a little hesitant about putting them up, but I told her she has new sippy cups to use since she’s older. She asked to use a bottle just one more time, or maybe she was flipping me the bird…..

Whatever she was saying or telling me, the bottles are gone now and I’m happy to put them behind me. Her last use of the bottle is documented on yesterdays Milk Life #MilkDrive campaign post. Which, by the way, would be totally cool of you to help our Southern team of dads out and donate for the great cause. I mean, I am giving you bathroom puns here. 🙂

Yeah, please help families in need. Oh, and tell me where the bottles are hidden.

It seems like she should’ve been done with bottles already, but I think this is quite normal, especially for breastfed babies. Which, by the way, my awesome wife is still nursing like the rock star that she is! Now, about those diapers……

Ahhh, diapers, perfect segueway to bathroom puns; enjoy!

All of the toilets were stolen in the police station. Detectives have nothing to go on.
A man was having issues peeing and asked his doctor what it meant. “Urine trouble.” the doctor said.
Constipation is a pain in the ass.
My whole family has problems with diarrhea, it runs in our jeans.
Urinals are pretty tough, they take no crap!
You can never hear a pterodactyl urinate because its P is silent.
A house without a toilet? Seems uncanny.
Everyone had fun at the park, but after dropping my watch in the toilet, I had a crappy time.
The toilet was backed up from feeling crappy, but when I said it had beautiful porcelain skin , it was flushed.
Life as toilet paper has it’s ups and downs. You’re either on a roll or taking crap from some asshole.

True, some of these are corny, but I think a lot of us will agree that the cornier the better. Right? Anyone?

Well, I hope you don’t feel like this was a waste of your time. Enjoy your day and have a great weekend!

When did you get rid of the bottles for your kid or are you still using bottles?

Do you think it’s easier with or without the nippled containers?

Going Healthy, Going Reviews, Promo

Help Make The Great American Milk Drive Legen-Dairy

06/11/2015 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

As much as I enjoy joking around (hence the title to this post), keeping our family healthy is something I take seriously. Even before I became a stay-at-home dad, I was cooking all of the meals for my wife and I on top of having a full-time job. Yeah, it was hard at times, but to pros far outweigh the cons when it comes to good nutrition.

For this reason, my wife and I knew breast milk was the best source of nutrition for our daughter, Avery, right from the start. And now, at 18 months old, I am extremely proud and supportive of my wife for still nursing our beautiful girl even through so many hardships.

Over the past few months, Kelley has slowly eased up on breastfeeding which meant I needed to find another source of nutrition to fill its place. Luckily, there’s another nutritious beverage to fill the void, and it goes by the name of…..MILK!

Just like the food I bring into our home, I am quite particular on where our milk is sourced and how it’s produced. Avery was a bit hesitant about milk at first….

….but she quickly made peace with her new beverage and, well…..

Yep, she loves her milk and she has it every day with breakfast and as a calming drink before nap time. Having a nutrient-rich beverage packed with 8 grams of high quality protein per 8 ounce serving allows me to rest assured our daughter is getting what she needs for her body to grow strong and healthy and give her the energy to play (or swing kettlebells) with Mommy and Daddy.

Unfortunately, many families are unable to provide their children healthy meals and are missing out on the nutrition milk has to offer. These children are provided breakfast and lunch through the National School Lunch Program (NSLP) and the School Breakfast Program (SBP) when in school, but not when school is out.

Here’s the “Legen-Dairy” part…..To raise money and bring milk to families in need this June, Milk Life has created The Great American Milk Drive benefiting Feeding America. Since June is National Dairy Month, what better time than now to help deliver something many of us take for granted; MILK! Did you know…..

Milk is one of the most requested items by food bank clients year-round, and especially during the summer when kids are missing out on nutritious meals provided through school breakfast and lunch programs. But on average, food banks are only able to provide the equivalent of less than one gallon of milk per person per year. That’s because while Americans are generous with canned and dry goods, many don’t think to donate milk because it’s perishable.
More than 22 million children may miss out on milk’s nutrition in the summer months when schools are closed and they lose access to free or reduced-price milk programs.
You can help power the play of children in need in your community all summer long with a small donation by clicking here. A donation of as little as $5 will deliver a gallon of milk to a local family through the Feeding America nationwide network of food banks.

And since we all absorb information better when it’s in cool infographic form, here are the key facts laid out for us all.

As a major advocate of all things health, I know how paramount good nutrition is for kids and adults alike. That’s why I’m honored to join Life of Dad and 24 super awesome dad bloggers to help Milk Life spread the words and raise funds for The Great American Milk Drive. This truly is legen-dairy, and we need YOU to help us keep it that way!

The 25 of us dad bloggers have been divided into 4 teams by region, North, South, East, and West. To make it even more interesting, the team that has received the most donations by 12PM EST on Monday, June 22 will get an additional $500 donation from the awesome guys at Life of Dad. Now I know you want to help my team, The South, win this, so please, hold off on the birthday gifts (it was on the 8th) and Father’s Day presents and please please please donate to this important cause.

Check out my fellow Team South friends and show us all some love by donating today.
Trey Burley – Daddy Mojo

Scotty Schrier – Dads Who Change Diapers

Jack Steiner – The Jack B

Rick Fauquet – Rick on the Rocks

We’re all great fathers wanting the best for kids all over, and this would make the best Father’s Day contribution to all of us.

And be sure to mark your calendars for Tuesday, June 16th at 8PM EST for the #MilkDrive Twitter Party hosted by @LifeofDadShow. Just follow hashtage #MilkDrive and get ready for a chance to win some great prizes and have fun while supporting Milk Life and Feeding America!

Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Milk Life for this promotion. I have received compensation for my participation, but my passion and thirst for Milk is my own.

Life, Parenting, Photo Journal

Midyear Photo Timeline & An Apology to My Neighbors

06/10/2015 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

Can you believe half of 2015 is already over? Where does the time go? I know everyone asks this as a rhetorical question, but I’d seriously like some answers! And, if possible, maybe how to get some of that time back…….even if we don’t have a flux capacitor, or DeLorean.

Speaking of time travel, I would start by going back to when I wrote my post from yesterday. Yeah, I’m an ~~idiot~~ ~~dummy~~ supreme asshole for referring to something about many of my kind and undeserving neighbors. I have since removed it and there’s no need to bring it up again, but just know I’m basically king asshole in asshole land and wish I could take it all back.

It only took one of my neighbors to call me out about it and as I reread the post, I developed that dreaded lump in the throat feeling of major shame. And my wife is on their side, she let me know how much of an ass I am too. Sometimes, we need others to let us know when we’ve done wrong, and this is one of those times for me.

So, to all of my neighbors, I truly and deeply am sorry for my words and ask that you please forgive me. I love our close-knit community and would hate to be shunned from hanging out with you. I’ll say it again, I am sorry and if there anything I can do to make it up to you, please tell me. Even if it’s some sort of public humiliation, I’ll do it…….to an extent. Hell, I bet Kelley would even bring the camera to post it all over social media. Whatever it takes, I just want to keep our friends!

I can’t shake this guilty conscience and it’s weighing heavy on my mind. Times like these I find solace in looking at the countless pictures of Avery from the past to present. I started wayyyy back to a year ago, but it’s crazy how much she’s changed since just the beginning of 2015.

Yeah yeah, kids grow, blah blah, I know, but it never ceases to amaze me just how much and how fast. So I went through each month of 2015 thus far and found a pic to share. Enjoy!

600 photos from January and I wanted to post them all, so I just pointed my mouse on one and clicked.

Only a little over 400 pics this month, but figured I’d keep with the chair theme.

No chair this time, but we did go back up to 500+ pictures. Her curls are starting to appear this month.

We put my childhood boots on her and caught a few good pics. We need to do this again soon. 470 pics this month.

We really slacked last month with only 315 pics. Geez, are we bad parents or what?

Only 61 pics so far, but we have plenty of days left in the month. Her eyes are so beautiful and they just really stand out here.

I can’t imagine what another 6 months will do for her growth, but I’m not rushing anything. Of course, it would be nice if she’d just tell us when she poops!

One more time. Neighbors, I apologize and hope you’ll still greet me with a smile and wave when we see each other. Please, if anything, let me know how to earn your forgiveness.

Have you ever said something you immediately wished you could take back? How did you handle it if so?

Do you look back at pictures month-by-month to see how much your little one or ones has grown?