Hi-Ya! Avery here.

Today I have a very important How to for my toddler compadres. It’s my secret on how to catch your mommy. It sounds easy on paper in text on the computer/tablet/phone screen, but those mommies can certainly be tricky to catch.

I’m sure you’re eager to learn the way of wise, me, so let’s get to it. First, and most importantly, you must lead them on as if they are going to catch you.

Make sure you go slow for your mommy so you don’t pull too far ahead too fast. Even a little taunting turn will help to keep her thinking she has you.

But then go back straight and pick it up a little.

Find a dead end or barrier that requires you to stop, making your mom think it’s over for sure and she’ll have you in her grasp soon.

Right as she’s going in to sweep you off your feet, make a battle cry as you turn around to chase them down. They’ll quickly turn the other way in fear.

Chances are, your scary battle cry will pump the adrenaline pretty high, giving your mommy super speed. Don’t let that derail you, she’ll slow down fast. Remember, you are faster!

Soon, you’ll have your prey within reach and will have mommy contained in seconds. Just act quickly to grab and…oh, wait, this isn’t right.

Okay, just go limp if they grab you instead. Trust me, I’ve done this bef…..noooo, how did she do that?!

Everything is upside down, I have no control!

It’s okay, just remain calm and wait for your moment to turn things around on mommy and hold her upside down.

Crap, still waiting for the right time. Not finding it.

Ummmm, soooooo, maybe this should be How Not to Catch Your Mommy. Maybe it’s the blood rushing to my head, but I’m feeling hopeless.

Well, my apprentice peer, let’s just forget this How to tutorial ever happened. We can revisit at a later date, when I’ve had time to think and recover my dignity. If you are successful in catching your mommy, please send me a text, I could use the pointers….obviously.