Puns

24 Completely Random Puns to Make You Laugh or Groan

07/15/2016 R.C. Liley 1 Comment

Nothing like starting the day with puns, right? Even if they make you groan, they still put a smile on your face…….usually. At least it’s Friday, and that makes most people smile. Unless you’re reading this after it’s been publish, then I’d guess that it’s another part of the week that ends in y.

Whatever the time of day/week, I hope you enjoy this list of double entendres as much as I do.

Enjoy!

I caught my kid sticking a key in a light socket and was so shocked that I grounded him. He’s not the brightest.
The man got tired of making sandwiches, so he found a sub.
They just opened a chophouse on top of skyscraper I heard the food is good, but the steaks are high.
Eggs for breakfast are one of the top five cereal killers.
Growing a garden is no big dill, all it takes is a little thyme and plants will cumin. Don’t let impatiens wilt this sage advice.
Batman hates wearing jeans and a t-shirt, it’s just not his strong suit.
Elsa knew she was in a hot mess when all of her assets were frozen.
When he told his wife not to draw her eyebrows on so high, she looked surprised.
I’m writing a book about the worst beers in the world. So far it’s just a bunch of rough drafts, I can’t take much lager.
After his donut bakery burned down, the baker quit working. He was tired of the hole thing and now his business was toast.
The computer wanted to chip in on a game of poker, but it ran out of cache.
To get the most bang for your buck when celebrating a special occasion, fire works.
I wanted to fly for my next trip, but could get a terminal illness at the airport and forget a flying carpet, that’s too rugged.
The high ranking officer tripped over his own feet in front of the large crowd. It was a Major faux pas.
She started dating the man after he backed into her car. They met by accident.
Never trust a nail, they’re always getting hammered.
Making butter leaves no margarine for error.
Animals never die, they just carrion.
The best sport to play with your ex is tennis since Love means nothing.
Some birds don’t think it’s a aviary big concern, but others worry that Global Worming is a result of fowl play.
She wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but couldn’t find the manual.
I had to drink food coloring after losing a bet. Luckily, I’m not sick, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
It’s hard to find leather workers, all they do is hide.
The juggler is the toughest guy at the circus, he has the most balls.

I’m always thinking of puns using my surroundings or being inspired by other puns, which mean another random puns post is always a guarantee!

Food, Going Healthy

Strawberry biPro Protein Cake Recipe

07/14/2016 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

Have you ever used protein powder as a substitute for regular flour in baked goods? I’ve been doing it for years with some bad, some good, and some fabulous results. Luckily, this strawberry protein cake using biPro’s Strawberry Protein Powder really….um, takes the cake!

protein cake, biPro whey protein, baking, healthy, cooking, bread, dessert

Writing the review of biPro’s Strawberry Whey Protein left me craving something full of strawberry goodness to snack on. Maybe share a little with the little one too. A smoothie is easy, but I wanted something I could eat and use as the perfect NuttZo delivery device.

nuttzo, healthy, protein cake, cooking, peanut butter, organic — I’m waiting for you….

Not sure why it always sits right at the window I look out of most often, but it sure does drive me NuttZ…..O!

Back to the protein cake. With no real recipe to follow, I mixed and ~~measured~~ tossed ingredients together and put it all into the oven. The end result was good, but now I had remake it and actually measure. Ugh. You will be happy to know that the second time around came out even better. Hey, measuring does serve a purpose!

BiPro Strawberry Protein Cake

Don’t take my word (or anyone’s word) for it, make it for yourself and taste the proof. Maybe smear a little NuttZo on too.

protein cake, biPro whey protein, baking, healthy, cooking, bread, dessert, nuttzo

Strawberry biPro Protein Cake

by RC Liley

Prep Time: 10

Cook Time: 20 – 25 Minutes

Keywords: bake bread dessert protein powder cake

Ingredients

1/2 cup cottage cheese (can substitute Greek yogurt)
2 eggs or 1/2 cup egg whites
2 tsp chia seeds
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup biPro Strawberry Protein Powder
1 tsp aluminum free baking powder
15 drops liquid vanilla stevia or 1/16 tsp stevia powder
optional shredded coconut as desired

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 F, and line an 8-inch square or round pan with parchment (or grease very well).

2. Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl and let sit at least 10 minutes. If batter is too thick, add unsweetened almond milk 1 tablespoon at a time to help mix it better.

3. Pour batter into the prepared pan, and smooth down evenly. Bake 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean.

4. Remove from oven and allow to cool at least 10 minutes before devouring each and every protein-packed bite.

Once you make and devour the protein-packed cake, come back and let me know how you (and, if shared, your friends and family) loved it!

BiPro Strawberry Protein Cake_Half Slice

Make sure to enter my biPro Strawberry Whey Protein giveaway going on until July 18, 2016.

Earn Income, Guest Post

What You Should Do After Receiving a Raise

07/13/2016 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

Getting a raise is always a reason to celebrate, and seeing a larger paycheck as a direct result of your hard work is one of the best feelings. However, raises can lead to some unwise financial habits. It can be tempting to run out and buy that new big screen you’ve been eyeing, or funnel the money into a ticket for a family trip to Disneyworld, but take a moment to pause and think about how to use your new income in a way that will most benefit you and your family in the long run.

Reassess Your Budget

Any time you experience a change in income, whether for the worse or better, it’s important to look at your budget and adjust where necessary. When looking at your new income, it’s important to assess just how much the government will be taking out of that larger paycheck. Check out your credit history and take note of the places that you seem to spend the most, whether that be travel, entertainment, or dining. After looking at your budget, take a look at accounts that could use a little bolstering, then funnel your raise income difference into these areas. Another option is to invest your extra income in the stock market, this can be a good way to grow your asset pool and learn the financial system better. Through doing research into how companies are performing, as well as the general consensus on the amazon stock forecast (or other companies you’re interested in) you can predict trends and better invest your money where it will grow. The good thing about investing your money is you won’t be tempted to be wasteful with it, in the same way you might be if it was left sitting in your checking account.

Retirement Accounts

No matter where you are in your career, it’s important to have a retirement plan, whether you are in your mid-twenties or late forties. Thinking about the future is always essential when it comes to finances, and siphoning more money into your retirement plan will leave you with a larger retirement income and may mean you get to sign out of the professional world at a younger age than you ever imagined possible. Whether you’re putting more into your 401(k) at work or making deposits into an IRA, your future self will thank you for the forethought.

Charitable Donations

Sometimes, raises can affect our taxes, effectively seeing us owing more to the government when tax season rolls around. Charitable donations are a good way to spread the wealth while also being strategically sound with your finances. Donations to qualified charities can make you eligible for lucrative tax deductions when you file taxes online, and you’ll feel great about paying it forward.

Long Term Purchases

If you do have some need to buy items on your list, make sure your raise money goes towards those things which will benefit your family and finances in the long run. It might be an energy efficient washer and dryer, an update to your backyard living space that improves the value of your home, or investing in safe stocks that can make you a bit of interest each year. Speak with a financial advisor about what might be best for your family, and make sure you keep those impulse buys to a minimum, especially in the weeks directly following your raise.

Pay Off Debt

Have you been stuck in debt for a while? It’s time to get yourself out from under this financial strain. With your new income, it’s likely possible for you to become debt-free sooner than you originally thought possible. Take a look at your accounts and put them in order of interest rates, highest to lowest. Work on paying off the accounts with the highest interest first to avoid paying more over the long run than necessary. As your debt lessens, your credit score will improve, and the mental strain that’s alleviated will be more than welcome. If you owe the government, it’s essential to put all of your efforts into paying any back taxes owed under your name. The longer it takes you to pay back the IRS, the more dire the consequences. If it’s a serious amount of money owed, always be sure to use companies like www.communitytax.com to figure out what is going to help your case quickly and efficiently.

If you’ve received a raise for a job well done, it’s important to use that money in a smart, financially sound way that will best benefit your family. Keep these tips in mind and enjoy your new income to the fullest.