Food on the table. A roof over their heads. Education from the best schools. Money for their other needs.
What does it mean to be a good father? For many men, they equate that role with being a good provider. While there is certainly nothing wrong with providing for the needs of your children, the truth is that it is just a fraction of what fatherhood is really about.
Times are a-changin’
Traditionally, dads have taken the role of the provider or breadwinner while moms tended to their kids and homes. For many dads, that can mean having little time to spend with their kids.
But with the changing times and the evolution of cultures, more and more dads are now beginning to spend more quality time with their young ones. Compared to 50 years ago, dads have tripled the time they spend with their kids.
Why spend more time with your kids
Numerous studies indicate that spending more time together benefits both dads and their kids. What are these benefits?
- Kids perform well in school
When a father takes a paternity leave to take care of his little one, his child is more likely to do well in school later on. And when a dad spends more time helping his child with schoolwork, his chances of becoming successful inside the class increases exponentially.
- Kids develop positive traits
Masculinity has been associated with many positive characteristics, like confidence, assertiveness, and loyalty. But on the flip side, these same traits, when taken to the extreme, can lead to qualities associated with toxic masculinity. These include lack of empathy, aggression, and detachment.
When dads spend more time at home, they provide their kids, especially boys, with a positive role model to pattern their behavior after. The result? Boys who are open and emotionally present.
- Happier couples
Apart from the kids, both moms and dads also benefit from the increased time that fathers spend with their children.
When a father spends more time at home, not just to play with the kids, he becomes more aware of the things involved in raising his children. Tracking appointments with doctors and school activities as well as tending to the house all take a mental toll on moms.
If you spend more time at home, you’ll be able to share and unburden your spouse of this mental stress. In turn, you develop an equal partnership that strengthens your relationship.
Spending quality time with the kids
Most fathers get the opportunity to spend time with their children after coming home from work and during the weekends. If you have never been alone with your kids, this may seem like a daunting idea.
Part of that fear stems from the fact that these interactions are usually done in the presence of your wife. Plus, your mind may be swirling with several questions. These are perfectly natural.
If you wish to overcome these fears and ensure that you have a good time with the kids, whether you’re just staying at home to play video games or you’re planning to visit a park, here are a few essential things to remember.
- Don’t hesitate to ask questions
You might think that you know your kids well, but your wife probably knows their quirks better. From their favorite foods to their preferred clothes, don’t hesitate to ask your wife things that you might not know about your kids yet. And don’t commit things to memory; write everything down instead.
- Let your kids be your focus
If you rarely spend quality time with the kids, every second that you spend with them should be sacred and respected. That simply means that you should be physically and mentally present. Turn your gadgets off before entering the kids’ play area with the young ones.
Momentarily forget about your commitments at work or the upcoming football match that you had been raring to see and focus your attention on the activities that you have planned to do with your little ones.
- Plan your day around your kids’ personal rhythms
Kids, especially toddlers, have their own rhythms. As much as possible, you should plan your day with them around that rhythm.
For example, if you are heading out somewhere, make sure that you do so after they have been fed and have had their naps. This will help ensure that your kids won’t make a fuss and you will be able to maximize your enjoyment of the time spent with them.
- Let your wife have her “me time”
Spending time alone with your kids will give you a better perspective of the things that your spouse does to keep the household in good order while taking care of the children.
While you are taking care of the kids, allow your wife to have the opportunity to do the things that she wants, whether she needs a well-deserved trip to the salon or spa or she wants to simply catch up on her favorite series on Netflix.
The clock is ticking
Your kids will only be young once. Soon, they’ll be making friends and would rather spend time with them. Take advantage of their youth and spend as much time with them as you possibly can, whether that means buying kids’ play area tickets for some fun bonding time this weekend or spending a lazy afternoon together at home.