It’s not enough to be a great dad; it’s about the relationship you have with the other parent. And when you are doing your best to be the best parent you possibly can, if there are disagreements in parenting styles or you are on different pages this is when relationship issues can come to the fore. And when people try to fix their relationship for the sake of the kids it comes from a good place but ultimately it doesn’t address the root cause. When parents are struggling with their relationship what do they really need to address to fix it properly?
Identifying The Deep-Rooted Issues
When there is conflict in a relationship it may not be what you think it is. The deep-rooted issue may be something that you both have avoided confronting for some time. Sometimes the issue is straightforward but you both don’t see it. Sometimes it requires an external source to point this out. Sometimes we can have crutches in life such as alcohol or drugs to keep us from addressing the real issues. But there are facilities like a couples inpatient drug rehab near you to help. It’s also worth addressing if you both need to engage in counseling. Sometimes it’s not straightforward but the problem can be under the surface. This means we’ll have to take some time to dig.
Learning To Forgive
Learning to let something go is difficult for many of us. But when it’s the parent of your child, sometimes you can feel that they’ve done something that you just can’t forgive. But this means you’ve got to learn to separate the negativity from your life. Looking into the past and bringing it up every time you have a disagreement will never help you both to move on. Forgiveness isn’t just about the other person but it’s about identifying the real issues within yourself and putting it to one side so you can focus on the relationship.
Don’t Involve The Children
When parents start to disagree or harbor resentment we can very easily bring the children into the picture. We see it all the time with parents going through divorce, they use their children as pawns in the game. And if you think that it’s okay to involve the children in your you’re the bates you’ve got to take a long look in the mirror. Everything you are doing should be for the benefit of the children. And we’ve got to think that if they ever feel in the middle they could feel responsible for everything. If there is a child in the middle of it you have to make sure that you both let them know you care for them. It’s not their fault but they may very well think that it is.
Learning to fix the relationship together is vital but you also have to remember that it’s not a quick fix. There can be a lot of soul-searching involved and getting to the root cause of your problems. If you’re not willing to address these problems you will end up back at square one.