Bad habits, even ones that seem harmless, can be the enemy of happiness, for both you and your family. Bad habits can make you feel stuck in a rut, or make you do things that you don’t really want to do. To feel happier, and to be able to be a better father to your children, start working right now to eliminate the bad habits from your life. When you can do that, you’ll be able to make room for new, more positive habits. These are the bad habits that could be making you unhappy, without you realizing.
Postponing your goals
Proscranition can very quickly stop you from being able to achieve your goals more effectively than almost any other obstacle that might get in your way. Procrastination is a very effective way to self-sabotage. Instead, start doing what you want right now by taking even a small step towards a goal that you’re trying to reach. Make another step tomorrow. These steps don’t need to be big ones but make at least a small amount of progress every day. Making a consistent effort is the key to overcoming the desire to put things off. For example, if your goal is to get fit, try a program like Couchto5k, which helps you to slowly make progress towards being able to run a 5k.
Living a mediocre life
Try to step out of your comfort zone at least some of the time and remember that you won’t get anywhere without at least a little bit of risk. You can’t be happy by avoiding all the painful things in life. Instead, you need to chase after the things you want. Being willing to take a risk to achieve the best things in life is also a good example to set your children. They can see you chasing after what is important, and learn that sometimes it’s worth challenging yourself in order to achieve things.
Self-sabotaging
A pattern of bad habits can easily become set in and start to disrupt your ability to grow as a person, your success, or your happiness. What is it that’s keeping you stuck and unable to succeed? Find the culprit and cut it out of your life. Maybe you keep being passed over for a promotion at work because you don’t put yourself forward. Maybe you’re sabotaging a simple goal, like getting better sleep, by drinking too much at night or staring at a screen right before bed. If you need help shifting a more serious act of self-sabotage, like dependence on drugs or alcohol, seek addiction treatment to get the help you need to shake it.
Running from your problems
Instead of trying to run away from anything that is wrong in your life, start chasing after and protecting the things that are right. Instead of viewing your problems as something to be ashamed of or to avoid, try to see them as a chance to learn and grow. This is another good example you can set for your children too. Teach them that everyone has problems and flaws, but that what really matters is how you face them. Show them that it’s better to tackle your problems head-on, not shy away from them. Of course, facing life’s challenges can be difficult, but approaching them with a growth mindset and putting to use the tips you’ve learned from self-improvement resources such as the Better Than Yesterday podcast by Osher Gunsberg can set you on the right path to conquering your problems and increasing the positivity in your life.
Worrying about your flaws
Everybody has flaws. What makes the difference is whether you let your flaws keep you from doing what you want. Instead, accept your flaws and try to make them work for you. Never engage in negative self-talk in front of your children. Children mimic the behavior that they see from their parents, good or bad. If they hear you talking about being lazy, ugly, fat, or unintelligent, they will soon start to worry that these things are true for them, and they will copy the poor way that you talk about yourself. Instead, model better behavior by celebrating your strengths and working on your flaws.
Trying to control everything
If you try to control everything, you will soon become angry and frustrated. Remember that the only thing you can control is your own reaction to what’s going on around you. Try to let go of having to have everything go your way all the time. It’s not feasible, and will only annoy you when you can’t always have your own way.
Blaming others
Nothing good can ever come from always blaming other people instead of taking responsibility for yourself. The best path to being happier is to learn to be accountable for your own actions and mistakes and to take responsibility for the consequences, rather than looking for someone else to take the blame. Even if someone else is at fault, the blame game doesn’t solve anything. It’s more productive to put your efforts into fixing what has gone wrong, rather than looking for who is at fault.
Trying to be something you’re not
A lot of people want to be someone other than themselves. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, and instead learn to celebrate your own gifts and talents. Teach your children to appreciate who they are by showing them that you are proud of who you are, rather than wishing you were different. This doesn’t mean you can’t have any goals for self-improvement, but it does mean accepting yourself, good parts and bad.
Living in the past or the future
Live in the present so you can work out what actually makes you happy. Aim to make new memories, and make positive choices to create happiness. You can’t change the past or shape the future by worrying about it.
Constant complaining
Don’t take the things you have for granted, even the very simple things like shelter, food, and a warm bed to sleep in at night. Be grateful for your health, your relationships, and anything else good in your life. If you’re tempted to complain, redirect your thoughts to things you are grateful for instead.
The best way to be happy is to quit the habits that don’t bring any good to your life and don’t make you happy. Instead, look for what will make you happy.