There is a saying that goes, a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she’s pregnant, a man becomes a father when the baby is born. While this may go some way to explain why some men find it difficult to accept their new role during their partner’s pregnancy, and then suddenly come to life when the baby has arrived, it’s not entirely true for everyone.
Also, no one really knows why that is, but it is thought to have its roots in human behavior and evolution.
Supposedly when we were still cavemen, competition for reproduction was rife and so females would copulate with many of the males and it was only at the birth of the child where similarities in features could be found that men knew who was the father of the offspring.
As unreliable as this system might have been, it’s all they had at the time, and as such females were largely left alone or under the care of other females until the birth of the child.
Thankfully, men have abandoned (most) of their neanderthal ways since then and the modern dad to have endless support and resources at his disposal to be the best partner possible before the baby arrives. For some advice on how to do that after the baby arrives, click here.
BREAKING NEWS
From the moment you find out about your partner’s pregnancy, be the dad you want to be. This means that after the initial freakout (and you have a little bit of leeway here – but you need to snap back quick!), you need to put her at the center of everything, because from here on out – she is.
Some dads make the mistake of becoming a little overbearing, so take the time to ask your partner what she needs from you. This is one of the few areas that men have left to really step up to the mark, and rely on all of our hardwiring and biological instincts. Remember, that’s half of you in there. You can find loads of good thoughts, here.
KNOW WHAT YOU’RE IN FOR
Your partner is going to undergo some massive changes emotionally and physically, some of these changes are going to impress and amuse you endlessly (her new heightened sense of smell for one), while others are going to challenge your last nerve (mood swings, pregnancy brain, and the ability to fart for the “A” team – do not comment on this – EVER).
The only thing for you to do during this time is to remain patient, calm, and supportive. That’s why you have your friends and your dad. They’ll get it.
COMMUNICATION
Maintaining an easy and open flow of communication during this time is super important, especially if you’re both going to be first-time parents. This includes communication with her healthcare team and understanding any unique healthcare requirements that your partner might have that you’ll need to be a part of. Does she need a pregnancy chiropractor, or is she anemic? Does she experience issues with anxiety or depression and how can you help alleviate some of her discomforts if this is the case?