Hello my baby buddies! Avery here, and I want to let you in on my most recent discovery about parents.
You know that really annoying time when your parents lay you on your stomach and give words of encouragement? I used to lay there screaming at the top of my lungs while they just sat there with expectant smiles on their faces and taking pictures.
What they were expecting, I had no clue………….. until now!
So, get this, they put you on your stomach to….stick with me here…..have you roll on your back! Yeah, seriously! Ummm, hello, mom and dad, if you want me on my back, just put me on my back! It doesn’t take a diaper scientist to figure that one out!
Since parents like to be so difficult, I say we make them work for it before finally giving in and rolling on your back. You see, my parents have been putting me on my stomach calling it “Tummy Time” since I was 2 weeks old. Like I don’t have enough on my mind just trying to figure out why I’m not in a nice, warm sauna anymore! If you want to keep them at your mercy, you have to play your blocks right.
For the first few occurrences, give them nothing. Nope, just go limp and look as if you were staring into deep space.
After a while, to give them a shimmer of hope, lift your head and turn it some, but make sure you cry a lot! Also, don’t lift your head too long, they’ll just make you lay there longer and take a lot of pictures.
As you get older, you’ll have to throw your parents a rattle and do a little something more. For me, I suggest kinda rocking on your side while lifting your butt and moving your legs as if you can’t get traction. Do this for a while making sure you are still bawling like a baby. Never mind the fact that you ARE a baby…..
At this point, you’re probably several months old (4 for me), and have been laid on your tummy over a dozen times. I started hitting mommy and daddy at this point, just acting as if I didn’t know what my arms were doing. Try it, you’ll feel better. But, now’s the time to give them what they want since they do feed you after all!
Like you were doing previously, you need to start turning on to one side, doesn’t matter which, and hang there for a few seconds.
It’s just fun to do for dramatic effect and to watch your silly parents’ faces beaming in anticipation.
To really make them suffer, try going back on your stomach as if it just isn’t happing…
Then, once you’re ready, using the arm and leg you aren’t laying on, push yourself enough to roll over on your back!
Give a little look of surprise as if you didn’t know what just happened. This will help to keep you from blowing your ignorant baby cover.
That’s it, this whole time they’ve been putting you on your stomach all just to get you on your back. I don’t know….
If you need it, here’s a quick how-to video on rolling over. Note the fake crying to make them think you don’t know anything.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQfCaurLCmE?rel=0]
Chances are, your parents are going to put you right back on your stomach just to watch you do this about 5 or 6 more times. Then, just be prepared for the same thing every day after that until the excitement wears off.
Sure, parents can be annoying and oblivious, but they do love us, so try and give them what they want like pooping, eating, and rolling on your back. Trust me, it’s worth it to see the look on their faces!
