Have you ever considered the possibility of demons inhabiting your child and that’s what makes them cry at glass-shattering decibels?
I mentioned how Avery has started to really “hit the high notes” in my 7 Memories post (it was the bonus memory, number 8), and she’s only getting louder. Why oh why do they do this?
That’s a rhetorical question, please don’t actually answer.
Unless you know for sure…..do you?
She’s in the prime age for teething and both Going Mom and I are confident that this, coupled with her increasing neediness, are the culprits. But, you can never rule out the possibility of demon possession; right?
How else can you explain having a baby with all of their needs met, but the instant you even think about setting them down, they begin their shrill, demon-like cries?
Luckily, we are loving parents and show her our love regardless of demon possession or not. But I wonder if when I’m feeding a bottle, if I’m feeding my baby or a demon.
Gives me goosebumps. Poor girl, she’s going to hate me posting this all over the internet, but I capture raw footage of possible demon possession in Avery. Watch it and let me know what you think?
Maybe blowing raspberries really is the best way to remove demons and that’s the actual reason babies do it on a daily basis. Hey, maybe.
So, Demon, if you’re reading this, please leave our daughter and go with your demon friends elsewhere. We don’t like your kind around here; consider this your one and only warning.
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Avery stepped into month 7 of her life the same day I celebrated my first Father’s Day, so we had two reasons to celebrate. Okay, three if you count not having a giant tortoise to care for in our back yard!
Before G-Ma, Paul, and our friend, Margaret came over to wish me a happy Father’s Day see Avery, Going Mom and I took advantage of Avery’s current good mood to take her monthly progression photos next to her stuffed bear. We asked her if she was ready as we sat in the living room and she gave us her typical constipated raspberry response.
We took that as a “yes.”
In the nursery, Kelley sat Avery in the chair and went to grab the stuffed animal bear. It was obvious Avery was just as excited as we were about her 7 month photo shoot.
Maybe the bear would help excite her?
Meh; a little better, but even blowing raspberries would’ve been better than this poker face. But then she opened up and seemed interested in her soft, friendly bear.
At least, we thought she was just interested, but apparently she had some aggression issues with her stuffed bear. What ensued for the remainder of the photo session was basically a bear mauling. Maybe Avery was giving a tutorial on how to fight a stuffed bear should the need arise. I mean, hey, you never know!
As you can see from the picture above, you must first act like you just want to pet the unsuspecting bear. Then, when you have good leverage, slam his face down in your knee and smile while doing so.
Then grab your bear prey from behind while he’s stunned….
….and throw him in a corner while staying as close as you can to prevent him from taking any swipes. Maybe bite his face a little.
From there, drive your shoulder into his neck region to let him know you’ve only just begun to show him who’s boss!
Don’t stop, keep really driving your body into his and don’t let up by any means! This is a bear, after all, and they can’t be trusted.
Having shown his jugular a thing or two, push him down from behind and bite his head! Trust me, you’ll “bear-ly” taste a thing.
At this point, you’re probably a little tired, so give yourself a break by just laying right on top of the big lug.
Keep laying there if you need to; bear fights are exhausting.
Once you’ve established yourself as master of all bears, prop the poor sap back up in a corner and go let everyone know your big feat!
Oh yeah, oops, learn how to crawl or walk before trying to get off the chair though. Thanks, mom, for catching me!
Have mommy or daddy help you down from the chair instead of trying to crawl right off of it and get to the nearest phone to tell everyone you know. Just so happens, Avery had her chance to use the phone when we changed her into swim clothes to go outside and try her new giant turtle pool.
After you’ve made the calls…..eat the phone.
And that sums up our 7 month photo session and tutorial on how to fight a bear. Here’s Avery at her 1 month session; she’s a little more lively now!
1 Month
Wow, I will never get over seeing how much she’s already grown!
Do you have a certain prop you use to help mark your child’s growth each month/year? Or did you?
The sound of my Vibram-clad feet running on a hiking trail with a light breeze whispering in my ears and the sound of grasshoppers flapping to move out of my path. This is how I spent part of my first Father’s Day; alone and at peace enjoying a sweaty run on a nearby trail.
6.5 miles and 31 pushups, air squats, and burpees later, I was ready to go back to my beautiful girls to celebrate “my” day!
Post trail run selfie!
Before I left for my run, Going Mom made me a lot of coffee with the French press and gave me my Father’s Day gift.
Pretty sure I drank a full carafe by myself!
I’m a sentimental kind of guy, and gifts from the heart mean more to me than something that can bought and wrapped up. Don’t get me wrong, there are many things you can buy and wrap that do require thought and care, but I don’t “need” those things and would rather have something made just for me.
Kelley knows this and was spending a lot of time in our front room for the days leading up to Father’s Day. She prohibited me from entering the front room for about a month since it also housed my 30th birthday gift. I was clueless what it could be, but instantly loved it when she gave it to me that morning.
A photo book with picture of just Avery and me starting at day 1 in the hospital and having our skin to skin time.
As I looked through, I relived each moment and joy filled my heart; I love it! Even this picture of me wearing Avery in the Baby Bjorn which I will never do again for the potential hip issues it causes babies, put a giant grin on my face.
Now I wear her in an Onya most of the time as well as an Ergo sometimes. Both are great options and seat the baby with their knees higher than their bottom and supports the hips. They are also more comfortable on you, the babywearer.
The time and thought my loving wife put into this means so much to me and (I’m looking at it now and smiling) makes me grateful for our small family. Even the card had to of taken some time and puts my homemade cards to her to shame!
Yep, I didn’t get a giant toolbox from Sears with all of the coolest Craftsmen tools or a new tablet with a super-ultra-mega-pixel burn-your-eyes-out screen and a faster than lightning processor, I got something better; a gift from the heart of someone I love dearly and can’t be duplicated. Thank you, Kelley/Wife/Wonderful Mom!!
For a while, I played with the idea that maybe her and my mom (G-Ma) had gone in together to get me a giant tortoise for our back yard. Why the hell would I think that? It seems ridiculous to me now, but I had mentioned several times how I want a giant tortoise for our back yard. It was always just laughed off (me included) because that would be crazy and I’m pretty sure illegal here in Texas.
But then, my mom’s boyfriend, Paul, recently showed us a picture of his son’s new back yard tortoise. They kept talking about it and how they put a lot of work into their yard to make a great home for the big guy and it was awesome.
Giant tortoise in back yard with their dog having a peek
For some reason, with the enthusiasm my mom and Kelley were telling me about the tortoise, I had thought they had something up their sleeve. Turns out, nope, nothing up their sleeve at all!
As cool as it would be, I was getting worried when I thought this was a reality; what in the world would I actually do with a giant tortoise in the back yard? We have a small box turtle, Tash, and she’s all we need. Plus, she’s the perfect size for Avery to watch and learn about.
After I returned from my better-than-therapy trail run, we spent the rest of the day together just enjoying each other. We did end up with a giant turtle in our back yard, but in the form of an inflatable pool, not a tortoise.
I didn’t take a shot of the pool alone, but you can see it there behind our happy baby. I promise, she really is a girl, it just doesn’t help when we choose blue and green. Oh well, we refuse to overwhelm her with pink!
I couldn’t get a smiling picture of her and me in the pool, but she flashed her rosy gums with mommy!
After getting enough of the outside, we all gathered back inside for the evening. G-Ma was with us to spend the night and we sat around the kitchen with food and drink just enjoying each other’s company. We even had a good Father’s Day brew from a local brewery, Rahr and Son’s, to share a cheers.
No, she didn’t have any beer, but she was really loving on the cucumber we gave her. This was her first time trying, and I’d say it was a hit!
I had a wonderful first Father’s Day and love our small family. Now that I have something to compare to, next year will be hard to beat! Hopefully there’s not giant tortoise then either!
Did you do anything for Father’s Day? Get anything cool?
What would you do with a giant tortoise as a back yard pet?
An at-home dad on a mission to keep it real when it comes to food, fun, and raising a healthy, happy family.
