Category Archives: Life

Why I’m Not Giving Flowers for Mother’s Day, or Ever

05/09/2014 R.C. Liley 7 Comments

In all honesty, I have been against giving flowers for years now. Going Mom and my mom both know this and therefore never expect to receive the colorful bee food from me.

Plus, I enjoy trying to be creative and making something personal/sentimental to give. Sometimes it’s just a note with my crappy handwriting (okay, a lot of times) and nothing more, or I’ll have a small gift I made or purchased to go along.

My reasoning was simple; they just die. Why pay for something that was living and then cut and put in a vase to look pretty for a few days before it dies? Don’t say it’s the thought that counts or for symbolism, there are better thoughts and symbols out there!

Now, I have given flowers in the past, but they are ones that I picked and put together myself. Did they look good? Not really, but it was the thought that mattered. See what I did there?

Anyway, now I have a bigger and better reason not to give flowers for any occasion; most come to us from Columbia under harsh labor conditions.

Yeah, most flower bouquets are put together by workers being treated poorly in Columbia just so some guy in desperate need of a gift for his demanding wife/mom/grandma/male lover? can quickly pick one up and avoid confrontation! That’s just an example, I know some people actually enjoy getting and giving flowers, but I was going for dramatic effect here.

I just read this article depicting a Colombian woman’s struggle to provide for her family by working under harsh conditions in the cut-flower industry. I never would’ve put the words “harsh” and “flower industry” together unless talking about those darn thorny roses, but sure enough, it’s a serious and sad story.

Here are a few parts of the article that stood out to me:

…..pulling a minimum-wage salary of $333 per month. Years of difficult and dangerous work have wracked Lorena’s body, leaving debilitating injuries in their wake.

The National Retail Federation estimates that this Mother’s Day weekend, Americans will purchase more than $2 billion worth of flowers. Almost 80 percent of those flowers come from Colombia…..

Work in the cut-flower industry is notoriously dangerous. …To protect their investments, companies pump highly toxic pesticides and fungicides into the greenhouses where flowers are grown. Twenty percent of these chemicals are so toxic and carcinogenic that they’re prohibited in North America and Europe. …. workers often suffer from rashes, headaches, impaired vision, and skin discoloration. Women, who make up 70 percent of the cut flower workforce in Colombia, report substantially higher instances of birth defects and miscarriages.

“Women are chosen to work in the flower industry because they have agile hands—they can go through the motions smoother and more efficiently,” Fuentes explained. “Their hands aren’t as heavy, and so they can manage the flowers and arrange the bouquets faster.”

But in exchange, they’re often taken advantage of. “Women are regularly paid less than men for the same jobs,” Fuentes said….. Companies commonly require female employees to take pregnancy tests in order to weed out workers who might be eligible for maternity leave. A 2008 International Labor Rights Forum report suggested that more than half of all women in the industry have suffered from sexual harassment.

“There are so many mothers in this industry who have to work all day and can’t take care of their children,” Alejandra told me, her young daughter cradled on her lap. “Kids go to school and get out at 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and their parents don’t come home until 1 in the morning.

I could keep going, but at this point, it’s best to just read the article.

I understand not every bouquet of flowers in America comes from these poor conditions, but then I go back to my original reason; they just die.

Really, unless you absolutely just love flowers sitting in a vase for a few days before they turn their bright heads down and wilt, I’d be mad someone didn’t put more thought into a gift. It doesn’t take much, just a simple handmade token to show you care will mean more than flowers to most of us.

I’m a sentimental guy, Going Mom knows since I can never let go of anything, and I love even the tiniest of notes she leaves for me. The point being, it’s more personal.

So, for your loved ones, you should know what they really like and work off that. Write a poem about something they like or how much you love them. Use Pinterest as a guide for handmade, inexpensive gift to give.

If you’re a parent, your kid can be the one “giving” the gift and you get off without guilt! Even a picture and a card should mean more to your loved ones than flowers.

Am I getting my point across? What, you got it a few paragraphs ago? Sorry, I just want to really hammer it in. I’m not saying anyone should feel guilty for getting flowers because of how most of them get here, but maybe try something different and see how the mothers in your life like it.

It would be weird if I didn’t post a picture of the love of my life, so I’ll leave you with this to enjoy; both loves of my life!

Do you avoid giving flowers as gifts?

What do you prefer to give/get?

What are your thoughts on the harsh working conditions in the cut-flower industry? Sounds like an oxymoron, huh?

Life, Parenting

Is Sunscreen Safe for Baby?

05/08/2014 R.C. Liley 3 Comments

Well, it happened again, my hard-headedness (word?) got the best of me!

I make it a point to go out for a run, walk, or both with Avery every day, and now that it’s hot out, we’re wearing clothes with less cover. That means exposed skin!

Covering my precious cargo before our walk.

I’m guilty of going on runs sans shirt or sunscreen all of the time, and Going Mom always gets on to me about needing to protect my skin. I would just wave it off and go about my day ignorant to how the sun affects me.

If sunscreen was food, I’d be all over it researching and trying to decide what kind is healthy, but this is an area I overlook. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m very peculiar about what I eat, but I need to be more aware of other things that threaten my health as well.

After a run.....and no sunscreen. — After a run…..and no sunscreen.

Like, for instance, sunscreen! Kelley bought some to put on Avery every time we go outside, and I have been rubbing it on her wherever her skin is exposed. You’d think I could simply just put some on myself at the same time, but that’s part of my stubbornness.

I hate rubbing it in because it gets caught in my arm and leg hair too much. Good reason, right? Since my dear wife is persistent about getting me to use sunscreen (I guess she loves me or something!), I thought I’d be smart and just buy a spray version; problem solved!

Nope, problem not solved! Now she was on to me about how bad the spray kinds are! Well crap, will I ever get it right?! I blindly argued that there’s no difference even though I had no clue about sunscreens. Kelley, on the other hand, had been reading several sources on the subject.

Needless to say, Kelley sent me links to prove why certain sunscreens are harmful and I finally admitted defeat. Note to self, don’t argue about things you have no clue about for so long; it gets you nowhere!

So now I have a certain bottle of spray sunscreen I’ll be returning soon.

Here’s a quote from the link Kelley sent me regarding sunscreens:

Could nanoparticles cause internal damage if they penetrate skin or are inhaled?
Yes. Though sunscreen lotions do not pose penetration concerns, inhalation of nanoparticles particles is dangerous for many reasons. EWG strongly discourages the use of powder or spray sunscreens using titanium dioxide or zinc oxide of any particle size.

Read the full article from the Environmental Working Group here.

Now, on to the question of this post; is sunscreen safe for your baby? Like most answers out there, yes and no. There hasn’t been enough research to definitely say sunscreen is harmful, but the effects are greater on a baby than older children and adults.

From what I read, it’s best not to apply sunscreen to babies under 6 months and to avoid the sun as much as possible. Sorry, Avery, we already messed up there.

The FDA has an informative post on the topic of sunscreen for babies along with useful tips on keeping baby safe in the sun.

Keep your baby in the shade as much as possible.
Consult your pediatrician before using any sunscreen on your baby. If you do use a small amount of sunscreen on your baby, don’t assume the child is well protected.
Make sure your child wears clothing that covers and protects sensitive skin. Use common sense; if you hold the fabric against your hand and it’s so sheer that you can see through it, it probably doesn’t offer enough protection.
Make sure your baby wears a hat that provides sufficient shade at all times.
Watch your baby carefully to make sure he or she doesn’t show warning signs of sunburn or dehydration. These include fussiness, redness and excessive crying.
Hydrate! Give your baby formula or breast milk if you’re out in the sun for more than a few minutes. Don’t forget to use a cooler to store the liquids.
Take note of how much your baby is urinating. If it’s less than usual, it may be a sign of dehydration, and that more fluids are needed until the flow is back to normal.
Avoid combination sunscreens containing insect repellants like DEET. Young children may lick their hands or put them in their mouths. According to the AAP, DEET should not be used on infants less than 2 months old.
If you do notice your baby is becoming sunburned, get out of the sun right away and apply cold compresses to the affected areas.

Thankfully, Going Mom did her research and bought sunscreen with only zinc oxide and titanium dioxide.

Unlike chemical-based sunscreens that are absorbed into the skin, zinc oxide and titanium dioxide sit on top of the skin. A benefit of this, besides not soaking into your skin and therefore bloodstream, is that they start working upon application. The chemical kind need 15 – 20 minutes to allow time for absorption before they begin to protect.

An article on BabyCenter.com explains this in detail and is yet another post worth reading. As mentioned in the article, never trust the label on products and make sure to scrutinize the list of ingredients. Hey, that’s like I do with food; now we’re talking my language!

The takeaway from all of this can be summarized in a few bullet points:

If possible, avoid exposing a baby under 6 months to the sun altogether.
If not possible, keep baby under shade and/or use a sunscreen with only zinc oxide or titanium dioxide as the main ingredient.
Do not, under any circumstances use a spray sunblock on yourself or baby.
Don’t trust the labels! Please read the ingredients and know what you are slathering all over yourself and your precious child!
I’m an idiot for doubting my wife and taking so long to acknowledge that she was right.

Thank you, Kelley, for “exposing” me to the reality of sunscreen!

Babywearing with big hat — Funny hat, serious face protection!

Please, have fun and keep safe out there!

Do you use sunscreen for yourself or your baby?

Have you strained to find the right kind or are you like I was and never thought much of it?

Life, Parenting

Our Monthly Subscription to Background Noise

05/07/2014 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

Hi there and Happy Hump Day!

Does Wednesday make you happy or just mad it’s still not Friday? I will feel mad sometimes, but then optimism kicks in and I’m like “Hey, at least it’s not Monday!” So try to think of that. 🙂

The other day Going Mom and I were discussing finances and planning for Avery’s future by opening a 529 plan. We were going over our options and trying to decide what a good amount would be to make monthly contributions to ensure Avery has enough for college if and when she attends.

I say “if” just incase she becomes a superstar. She’s already our superstar, but we can’t pay her for it; sorry, Avery.

Going Mom has looked into the 529 plan more than I have and she calculated how much we’d need to start contributing now just so Avery had enough for just her first year! That’s going off the current cost of college, and something tells me it won’t go down in 18 years….

Then, discussing how much we could comfortably contribute, Kelley brought up a good point; we are paying monthly for something we only use as background noise at night! What is it? Satellite.

To begin with, we only have it for 2 channels; Food Network and HGTV. But on top of that, we don’t even watch the TV when it’s on! I guess this is better than what we were doing.

For the first few weeks after we brought Avery home, we’d sit in silence in our dark living room as Avery slept in her swinging chair. We would actually fall asleep in the living room too and really didn’t see our bed that often. We finally has success with getting Avery to sleep in her crib and the TV came back on.

But, the TV serves us better as a glowing light and background noise source. Watch the TV? Nah!

Kelley and I will have a short discussion every now and then, but we mostly just fall into a trance perusing the internet. Sadly, we might talk more to each other via Facebook than when we are sitting in the same room at night!

It’s not because we’re arguing (usually) or anything, we just both urn for some quiet time by the end of the day. I actually hate it if she goes off to bed because I always enjoy her company, even if we don’t say a word. Anyone else like that?

Hey, at least we’re “smart” and have the cheapest package you can get with DISH®, so give us a little credit. Plus, we do sometimes use the TV when G-ma is visiting since she likes to watch certain shows.

While we’re on the subject, another “pricey” thing we do is use Kelley’s iPad2 as a white noise machine. Yep, it just sits on a stand in the nursery and we turn on the white noise app at night and nap time. Why pay twenty dollars for a sound machine when you can use a $500 iPad? Don’t answer that.

Nobody’s perfect, right? For the most part we are pretty conservative and actually do really well with saving where we can. A huge savings is cooking your own food and not going out to eat. Since we don’t go out (ever), we are reaping the benefits of good health and saving cash.

Before I check out for the day, I wanted to make an update to our current nightly routine. I still prepare Going Mom’s meal so she can spend some time with Avery, and bath time goes on as usual, but Kelley is able to get Avery to sleep faster afterward. This means she is back out and sitting with me (as we don’t talk) in the living room while our ~~light and sound box~~ TV is on.

The part I’m starting to enjoy now that Avery is more active, is playing with her while Kelley has dinner. I’ll sit on the floor next to Kelley and do whatever keeps Avery happy. I do push my limits and Kelley has to call me out, but for the most part, it’s fun.

We found that Avery is ticklish just about everywhere..

…and really enjoys being hung upside-down.

And obviously, she enjoys eating her hand 24/7. But I actually get excited to play a little with her before bedtime, and it helps to get her to sleep faster too!

Do you have things you pay for on a monthly basis but don’t use?

Do you have a certain routine each night or do you just “wing it” every day?