Is Throwback Thursday bittersweet for any other parents out there? Bitter, because so many things happen so fast and your baby (even if they’re a teen, they’re still your baby, right?) is growing up. Sweet, because so many proud moments have happened and well, it’s also great that your kid is growing. Not to mention we’re getting older too! Bleh!
Looking back a year ago, we were still holding Avery and rocking her to sleep for naptime and at night, but now that’s a thing of the past. Going Mom has been successful a few times, but I have had no such luck. But that’s what memories are for, right? And since parenting seems to zap our memories sometimes, that’s where the internet (blogging/social media) lends a hand.
Let us now travel back a year to see what I was blogging about in August of 2014. Here are 6 of my favorite posts…
How My Daughter Is Saving My Life – Stress, it had built up for years before Avery, and although having kids is no walk in the park (unless, that is, you’re walking with them in the park), it’s a different kind of stress. I write about that here.
Having A Daughter: Learning to Conquer The Fear of Fatherhood – I proudly got this published on The Huffington Post, and hold the words near and dear to my dad heart.
August was a big month last year and it turned out to be a big month this year as well. Maybe I’ll share some of the posts again when August 2016 rolls around. No rush though! Year hear that, time? Easy does it now….
Hope everyone’s week is going well. Going Mom comes back home tomorrow!!! Yay!!!!
And so on and so forth. Thus is the typical conversation most parents have with their babies.
When you start life as an at-home parent your infant, silence is inevitable and expected. Sure, there’s crying and cooing, but unless you’re caring for other kids at the talking age, you have no one to actually converse with when at home.
We only have one kid, so it’s just Avery and me spending every day together, learning and growing along the way. I love it. It’s fulfilling, rewarding, better than sitting in an office (to me), way better than daycare (financially and physically), and it sometimes drives me INSANE!
Oops, did I say that? It’s not when she’s extremely fussy and screaming out loud, or when she’s pulling out my leg hair as I’m trying to cook meals for day; it’s the silence. Crying, I can take, but sometimes it gets quiet, a little too quiet.
As I first mentioned, it’s expected from an infant, but at a year old and close to making actual words with her babbling, it’s just awkward when she turns silent. I’ll be working in the kitchen as she’s happily pushing her boxes across the floor (yes, we’re classy) or we’ll be playing in the front room, but all too often, she turns silent and stares into space.
I know you’re thinking, “Must be poop!”, and I used to think the same, but that’s usually accompanied by grunting and a strawberry-red face. I’ll check anyway because you never know (right?), but 8.3 times out of 10, there’s no poop in sight……or smell.
Luckily, there are solutions to most problems in the world, and I’ve found six that help combat the awkward silence as an at-home parent. As she grows, many of these will act as a wonderful base to build upon and hopefully expand her vocab skills and mind.
1. Explain what you are doing. When I’m in the kitchen (it’s a lot!), I’ll catch Avery staring at me as I work. Instead of just carrying on in silence, I’ll explain to her exactly what I’m doing as if she’s a student anxious to jot down all of my notes. I do this for everything from the exercises I do when working out and even during diaper changes. This gives me the pseudo-conversation I sometimes miss and helps keep her engaged in daily activities.
2. Explain what they are doing. Since it would be narcissistic to only talk about yourself, describe the actions your kid is making too. This goes along with number 1 above, and will help them begin to understand their capabilities.
3. Make eye contact when speaking to your child. In doing so, your child may be more inclined to communicate. Of course, watch what you’re doing too; like changing dirty diapers!! I’ve tried looking into her eyes while explaining how I’m cleaning her bottom and next thing I knew, well, you know. #ParentingFail
4. Read to them often. Even when they can’t stand still and try to tear the pages from your hands as they scream, keep reading! Avery does this to Going Mom and I daily, but trust me, you’ll help build vocabulary skills and maybe even have them reading before others their age. Make sure to choose books with big, bright colors and fun pictures. Moby Dick is not the best book to start with. 🙂
5. Acknowledge their sounds and actions. When Avery started blowing raspberries, we made sure to return the action and let her know what she was doing. Now that’s she’s babbling a lot, we repeat (as good as we can) the string of “words” she spouts out and encourage words like “momma” and “da da”. Lately, Avery has become an expert at sticking out her tongue on queue and it makes my wife and I so proud!
6. Play music. You don’t have to have “The Wheels on the Bus” on repeat, play actual music, whatever you like, and it’ll be fine. This is a big one for keeping sane and having some kind of background noise at all times. Almost every day, I turn on Pandora with a mix of my favorite channels and frequently sing out loud with Avery staring at me in bewilderment. Despite the strange looks you might receive, have no doubt that your kid will pick up on words that help expand their vocabulary. For this reason, I tend to stay away from the Eminem station….
Although you can never fully escape the awkward silence when you’re an at-home parent with only one kid who’s not yet talking, these six solutions will help get you through this time and help build your child’s speech and learning skills as well.
It doesn’t seem like half a year has already passed since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad, but here I am, stay-at-home daddying (it’s a word) with our precious 8 1/2 month old daughter. I have to keep repeating “precious” to myself as she’s in teething mode and wants to make sure everyone knows.
Her screams get progressively louder as if in competition with herself and she refuses to be outdone. How long do they say this takes? Around two years? Damn.
But, I remember saying goodbye to my office job and hello to my new office a.k.a. home and how much better I felt. Needless to say, I’ll gladly to listen to screams over getting on another conference call to discuss the “how’s” and “who’s” of whatever was going on at the time.
I’ll stop there since I could easily get myself “worked” (ha ha ha) up and blab on about my despise of having a desk job. We aren’t made to sit so long and be so sedentary as we……oh, crap….see, I’m still doing it!
Anyway, life as a stay-at-home dad started off slow with a baby who could only eat, poop, pee, cry, and sometimes smile. Luckily, babies experience rapid growth and Avery is surprising us with new skills/abilities almost every week!
Now at almost 9 months old, she’s a very mobile crawler showing signs that walking isn’t too far away.
I know everyone says that’s when I start to go crazy because I’ll always have to watch her, but I’m still excited. Before I know it, we’ll be able to wrestle, play outside, and go on (short) hikes.
Going Mom has to remind not to get ahead of myself and try things too soon. What? Is it that bad when I get on the ground and push our baby in an attempt to wrestle now?
Oh….okay then, I’ll ease up.
I know I have a more meaningful role now than I did when employed, and am ever so grateful we are able to make this work for our small family.
I’m extremely grateful for my lovely wife who goes in to work each day and handles various situations way better than I ever did/could. Then, when the workday is done, she comes home and helps deal with whatever is going on with Avery. Thank, Kelley, you are appreciated more than words can describe!
Speaking of, although I’m happier and more proud as a stay-at-home dad than my old job, I do miss one thing; my wife. Yep, we worked for the same company, in the same building, and even in the same office.
I was the only person in the building with a desk converted to standing and I could look over and see her desk not far away. We would talk to each other through the company’s internal messaging service and visit each other’s desks frequently.
Very rarely would we miss a day of going on a walk together around the nearby trails before having our lunch. There were times when we would give each other notes or share a laugh at an inside joke no one else understood.
My wife is my best friend, and now I don’t get to see her as much as when we worked together. I miss her, I miss our walks, and I miss being able to walk over to her for no better reason than to just say “hi.”
The good thing is that our relationship has grown even stronger since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad. Gone are the days of me stressing over work and letting it drag me down at home; now the time I do see her means more and we both recognize it. Sure we still have are disagreements like any couple, but they’re (usually) over fast and we get on with life.
So, in the end, it’s a worthy trade-off we are both happy with and it seems to be working for our family of three. I still go on a daily walk, but with Avery, and again with both of my girls if time is permitting.
Yes, I’m still adjusting to the stay-at-home life, but after 6 months, I feel good about our decision and am ready to continue down this path of daily obstacles and adventure.
Do you or would you ever consider working in the same office as your spouse?
Have you been both an employee and a stay-at-home parent? Which one are you now and what do you prefer?
An at-home dad on a mission to keep it real when it comes to food, fun, and raising a healthy, happy family.