Category Archives: Parenting

Swimming With The Cutest Little Fly Catcher

I don’t know about where you live, but the heat wasted no time making its way to Texas. Good thing Avery loves swimming, as I have a feeling we’ll be making use of the pool in our neighborhood quite often. Notice the pics of her in the pool, and then the one back in the stroller.

Where does she look the most comfortable? Hint: NOT the stroller!

We’ve already made several trips to the pool and summer hasn’t even officially started yet. I have a feeling we’re in for a long, hot summer. Oh wait, that’s how it is every year. Meh, I complain too much about the cold, so bring on the heat! But, please, not too much because A/C = $$$$$$$$$$$ if you know what I mean.

Trying to get a good picture of Avery in the pool is like, well, trying to get a good picture of her anywhere; she hardly looks at the camera! But, Going Mom and I made sure to flash our squinty smiles for a family selfie in the pool the other day.

Our Family at the Pool

Avery was apparently lost in deep thought. Probably trying to figure out why the other kids weren’t in a cool inflatable thing with a canopy.

Avery Looking Away in Pool

This is how she looks about 80% of the time while we’re at the pool. We tell her she can get out once she learns to swim. I have, actually, taken her out and started getting her to kick her legs as I skim her across the water. She doesn’t kick long until I’m just dragging her around and doing all of the work, but hopefully she’ll get a grip and swim like a pro in no time.

Speaking of “grip”, she definitely keeps a firm hold on my hands when I try to throw her in the air. Really makes it difficult to get a good launch, so I tried giving more force in the pool and, viola!, she let go and flew a little higher than expected.

Oops. Didn’t seem to bother her though.

What has been bothering all of us are flies in the house! Between letting the dog in and out and constantly opening the door to get something while working out in the garage, we have quite the collection of flies. Seeing as to how I stay home most of the day, the little pests are driving me mad and have me swatting like a cat throughout the day. At least Avery gets a kick out of watching her dad swat the air like a lunatic, and she’s even caught on to helping me out.

Don’t worry, that really was just fuzz she handed me, but we got a real live…errrr, now dead, fly right after.

It looks like she’s saying I’m her hero, right? Hey, let me pretend!

She’s been helping me spot flies at the dinner table too, and I’m keeping her new skills sharp even at the pool.

Yeah, Instagram video overload, I know. But it’s hard to resist this cute little fly catcher. She has yet to “catch” her very own fly, but the day is fast approaching, I’m sure of it. I’m also sure there will be more family pool time this weekend, so look out for Instagram overflow! Ha, get it? Pool….overflow….water….eh?

Quick update before I’m out. My staph checkup was moved from last Tuesday to this upcoming Tuesday, so I still haven’t heard the word from my butt doc yet. All I know is I’m feeling almost 100% and hopefully I can put it all behind me. I’m leaving on that note, have a wonderful weekend!

One last thing, please, if you can, help needy families by donating to the #MilkDrive campaign I’m a part of. It would mean so much to families missing out on important nutrients that they usually depend on for their kids while in school.

Just click here and you will go right to the donation page.

Bathroom Puns and No More Bottles!

Nothing like a few Friday bathroom puns to pass the time until you officially start the weekend, right?  Obviously, I could do more than just bathroom puns, but then I’d never get crap done. Ba-Zinga!!!

Wow, we’re off to a great start already! I’ll be sure to keep things moving to avoid a clogged brain. Butt first, I want to share what makes me so happy to say “goodbye”. We are done with bottles!

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As you can see, Avery was a little hesitant about putting them up, but I told her she has new sippy cups to use since she’s older. She asked to use a bottle just one more time, or maybe she was flipping me the bird…..

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Whatever she was saying or telling me, the bottles are gone now and I’m happy to put them behind me. Her last use of the bottle is documented on yesterdays Milk Life #MilkDrive campaign post. Which, by the way, would be totally cool of you to help our Southern team of dads out and donate for the great cause. I mean, I am giving you bathroom puns here. 🙂

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Yeah, please help families in need. Oh, and tell me where the bottles are hidden.

It seems like she should’ve been done with bottles already, but I think this is quite normal, especially for breastfed babies. Which, by the way, my awesome wife is still nursing like the rock star that she is! Now, about those diapers……

Ahhh, diapers, perfect segueway to bathroom puns; enjoy!

  • All of the toilets were stolen in the police station. Detectives have nothing to go on.
  • A man was having issues peeing and asked his doctor what it meant. “Urine trouble.” the doctor said.
  • Constipation is a pain in the ass.
  • My whole family has problems with diarrhea, it runs in our jeans.
  • Urinals are pretty tough, they take no crap!
  • You can never hear a pterodactyl urinate because its P is silent.
  • A house without a toilet? Seems uncanny.
  • Everyone had fun at the park, but after dropping my watch in the toilet, I had a crappy time.
  • The toilet was backed up from feeling crappy, but when I said it had beautiful porcelain skin , it was flushed.
  • Life as toilet paper has it’s ups and downs. You’re either on a roll or taking crap from some asshole.

True, some of these are corny, but I think a lot of us will agree that the cornier the better. Right? Anyone?

Well, I hope you don’t feel like this was a waste of your time. Enjoy your day and have a great weekend!

When did you get rid of the bottles for your kid or are you still using bottles?

Do you think it’s easier with or without the nippled containers?

Midyear Photo Timeline & An Apology to My Neighbors

Can you believe half of 2015 is already over? Where does the time go? I know everyone asks this as a rhetorical question, but I’d seriously like some answers! And, if possible, maybe how to get some of that time back…….even if we don’t have a flux capacitor, or DeLorean.

Speaking of time travel, I would start by going back to when I wrote my post from yesterday. Yeah, I’m an idiot dummy supreme asshole for referring to something about many of my kind and undeserving neighbors. I have since removed it and there’s no need to bring it up again, but just know I’m basically king asshole in asshole land and wish I could take it all back.

It only took one of my neighbors to call me out about it and as I reread the post, I developed that dreaded lump in the throat feeling of major shame. And my wife is on their side, she let me know how much of an ass I am too. Sometimes, we need others to let us know when we’ve done wrong, and this is one of those times for me.

So, to all of my neighbors, I truly and deeply am sorry for my words and ask that you please forgive me. I love our close-knit community and would hate to be shunned from hanging out with you. I’ll say it again, I am sorry and if there anything I can do to make it up to you, please tell me. Even if it’s some sort of public humiliation, I’ll do it…….to an extent. Hell, I bet Kelley would even bring the camera to post it all over social media. Whatever it takes, I just want to keep our friends!

I can’t shake this guilty conscience and it’s weighing heavy on my mind. Times like these I find solace in looking at the countless pictures of Avery from the past to present. I started wayyyy back to a year ago, but it’s crazy how much she’s changed since just the beginning of 2015.

Yeah yeah, kids grow, blah blah, I know, but it never ceases to amaze me just how much and how fast. So I went through each month of 2015 thus far and found a pic to share. Enjoy!

January 2015
January 2015

600 photos from January and I wanted to post them all, so I just pointed my mouse on one and clicked.

February 2015
February 2015

Only a little over 400 pics this month, but figured I’d keep with the chair theme.

March 2015
March 2015

No chair this time, but we did go back up to 500+ pictures. Her curls are starting to appear this month.

April 2015
April 2015

We put my childhood boots on her and caught a few good pics. We need to do this again soon. 470 pics this month.

May 2015
May 2015

We really slacked last month with only 315 pics. Geez, are we bad parents or what?

June 2015
June 2015

Only 61 pics so far, but we have plenty of days left in the month. Her eyes are so beautiful and they just really stand out here.

I can’t imagine what another 6 months will do for her growth, but I’m not rushing anything. Of course, it would be nice if she’d just tell us when she poops!

One more time. Neighbors, I apologize and hope you’ll still greet me with a smile and wave when we see each other. Please, if anything, let me know how to earn your forgiveness.

Have you ever said something you immediately wished you could take back? How did you handle it if so?

Do you look back at pictures month-by-month to see how much your little one or ones has grown?