Category Archives: Parenting

9 Memories From My 9th Month Since Going Dad

08/16/2014 R.C. Liley 5 Comments

Hey hey, we’re in the 4th quarter of Avery’s first year of life! Time keeps zipping by without signs of slowing down. Kind of like this little crawler; she’s non-stop!

You're mine now, Ball!! — You’re mine now, Ball!!

This post needs to be quick since I should be packing to go to our hotel for the weekend right now. I’m writing this on Friday afternoon and G-Ma will be on her way soon (cool, I rhymed!). Going Mom and I will be staying two nights at the Embassy Suites in Downtown Fort Worth, about 20 miles from home, for our 7th wedding anniversary.

As I write this, Kelley doesn’t know that I spoke with a kind lady at Embassy Suites who agreed to have a bottle of champagne and strawberries waiting in our room. Can’t beat that as a perfect way to start our “getaway” at a great hotel! If you know my wife, champagne is her favorite, and it was the hardest thing to talk her out of getting a bottle before we checked in. Geez, stubborn woman!!

Hopefully G-Ma is rockin’ out with Avery at our house and they don’t have any issues. But, if they do, that’s why we’re only so far away. We are so grateful that G-Ma agreed to stay the entire weekend with Avery, especially since she’s so mobile now!

I’ll have a recap of what went down sometime next week; I’m sure it’ll all be good…..right? Crap, I’m already taking too long. Let’s get on to the highlight of today’s post, shall we?

1. At 8 months, your first tooth was making an appearance, and now you have 4 almost all the way out!

Avery's First Tooth — Just one little tooth at 8 months…

It was a painful experience for all of us as those teeth pushed through, and we’re not looking forward to the next round. But, like everything, we’ll deal with it as it comes.

2. With those 4 teeth, 2 top and 2 bottom, you’ve taken to grinding them…..all the time!! I hear the grinding even when you’re not grinding; it’s like nails on a chalkboard. Hmmm, will you even get that reference anymore? Anyway, it’s bad, and it drives Mommy and me insane!

Doing the daily "grind" — Doing the daily “grind”

Even from afar, we know you’re grinding when your cheeks stick farther out and you have an apparent under-bite. Like most baby things, we hear it’s a phase and are anxiously waiting for it to be over!

3. You had just started crawling at 8 months, and although you aren’t walking now, you are pulling up on everything and anything with ease.

Soon, I won't rely on these and you'll never have time to yourself!!! But I'm cute, right? — Soon, I won’t rely on these and you’ll never have time to yourself!!! But I’m cute, right?

It’s only a matter of time until you take those first steps away from your support structures. Maybe by 10 months? I’m placing my bets now.

4. Since you are crawling like a pro now, you can easily make your way around the house and constantly amaze us at how quickly you make it to another room. Despite our cardboard box barriers you easily bust through, you find a way to get into exactly what we don’t want you getting into. A few of those things are the dog’s food and water bowl, the vacuum cleaner I constantly forget to put up, or the kitchen trashcan. Saying “No.” is futile, but we do it anyway.

5. Your playfulness keeps increasing and I get excited to see your happy face when I get on my hands and knees with you now. I’ve even started to put off washing dishes like I normally do and just get down to crawl around with you.

6. When Mommy and I aren’t crawling around with you, the beach ball keeps you pretty occupied as you push and then chase it across the house.

I’m hoping this fascination with the ball will help G-Ma wear you out while we are away for the weekend. Fingers crossed!

7. We brought you to two birthday parties for the neighborhood girls turning 1 and you did great at both! At one of them, we even came out with our own gifts for you; two types of walkers!

Since their little 1 year old girl now walks on her own, they had no use for these, so they let us borrow them until you’re in the walking club. I’m hopeful that we get to return them soon since that means you’ll be walking on your own too!

8. Our dinners are usually later than they should be, and you have been throwing most of the food we give you on the floor. At first it was cute, but now it’s obvious you know what you’re doing. On top of that, you will scream loud and thrash around just because.

Sometimes, we resort to showing you videos of yourself on our phones, but try not to put the screen in front of you that late.

9. Getting into things is just a part of life now, and Mommy and I quit trying so hard to stop you. Now we try to only have things left out that you are allowed to get into and topple over. You seem to enjoy pulling down on and spilling toys from the basket.

This sequence is a daily thing, but at least you’re going for the book. Oh, wait, that’s a blank photo book….oops!

Well, Avery, you’re growing up fast and we love seeing how aware you’ve become of your surroundings. I can only imagine what another month will bring, but know we’ll be here to capture it all!

I could go on, but now I’m really pushing my time and Mommy’s patience! So, I love you, and when you read this some day, I hope we can tell you how great you were for G-Ma while we were gone. 🙂

Life, Parenting

How My Daughter is Saving My Life

08/14/2014 R.C. Liley 3 Comments

She is 3 months shy of being 1 year old, and my daughter is already a hero. Although she may not be aware of how and why she’s saving daddy’s life, she is doing it nonetheless.

Over the years, I have found ways to become increasingly stressed about everything. Always having something to do, thinking ahead and worrying about what’s to come, getting mad at minute details, etc. Guilty with a capital “G”!

Going Mom has given the best support a husband could ever ask for over the years, and she’s what kept me from going berserk! Now I have her and Avery as a trusty sidekick.

I recently wrote about our long journey to having Avery and how a big part of our problems was a result of what stress had done to me physically. It sucked, I was miserable, and so was everyone around me. I never considered that stressing so much could be such a powerful and dangerous force, but now I know stress is a proven killer.

This is beyond scary! Something that many of us consider to be purely mental, can actually lead to our demise. Armed with this “stressful” knowledge, I am working on making changes to remove myself from the dangerous mindset. Becoming a stay-at-home dad is one major change and I wrote several times on how that has helped reduce my stress tremendously.

Make no mistake, I still have a ways to go before I stop stressing over things, just ask my wife! A little stress is natural and even good for us, but I still worry too much about washing dishes, food, exercise, always having a plan, and never living in the moment. I once lived in a carefree world, and now I’m striving to go back there.

With the help of my beautiful wife and daughter, I’m slowly (read, slowly) lowering stress levels and re-learning how to live “in the moment.” Since most of my time is now spent with Avery, she has been helping me in many ways; all unknown to her. Yes, babies are hard work and create plenty of stress themselves, but that’s a different kind of stress, not one that can kill!

One way Avery helps is by simply being so adorable. Every time I look at her or at the thousands (literally) of pictures of her, my heart fills with joy and I feel instant happiness set in. How can you not be happy with that smile?

I’m adamant about exercise, and thanks to our awesome baby, she’s happy to join along in her jumper. There’s nothing like finishing a set of very taxing squats and turning around to see this girl so excited about life.

But, probably the biggest factor in Avery saving my life by reducing stress is with play. She still has a ways to go before she can really start to play, but she’s active enough for a little rolling around and tickle time! Avery “plays” a major role by keeping me in check throughout the day.

When I’m standing over the sink washing dishes and she’s crawling all over the floor around me, I make it a point to stop and get down to crawl with her. The instant I’m on the ground and I see her smiling back at me, all of my worries disappear.

Daughter vs Dishes....hmm, easy choice!! — Daughter vs Dishes….hmm, easy choice!!

As she grows, Avery’s playfulness will grow with her, and I will be right there to play along in the dirt, swing in a swing, jump on a trampoline and pick her up when she falls. All while caring less about the materialistic things and more about emotions and family.

Of course, I still make it a point to clean those dishes and do other chores, but the fact is, I’m having less of a “must do it now” mentality and learning to enjoy things more often.

I know my mom and wife are thinking “What!?” because I admittedly still get worked up over small things. Again, I have a long way to go, but it’s a start, and I feel that as Avery grows and becomes even more playful, the bad stress will diminish. The stress that replaces it will be more of a beautiful “I have a child and I’m raising her” kind of stress, and I’m happy to take it on!

Do you feel yourself getting over-stressed? Any ways of coping with it?

Has your child helped or hurt your stress levels? I know, I know, kids are stressing, but you know what I mean!

Parenting

Learning to Walk: Is it Wrong to Place Bets on your Baby?

08/10/2014 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

As long as it’s just among friends and family, it’s fine, right? Not like I’m setting up an online betting site where people around the world can place wagers on when Avery will start to walk. Plus, how would they know if I rigged it or not?

I could rig it and say the above picture counts as “walking”. Or if she’s in her walker, that must count, no?

Ummm, no, dad, this doesn't count. — Ummm, no, dad, this doesn’t count.

Not that I’d actually try to make money by creating a gambling business centered around my daughter, but I’ve been making bets with myself on when she’ll actually take her first unassisted steps. I was thinking she’d do it before 9 months, but that’s only 5 days away, so now I’ll revise to before she’s 10 months.

What do you think?

Here’s several pictures of Avery showing signs of progress, please let me know your thoughts and we’ll see how close you are when it actually happens!