“My Dad’s Boobs are Worthless” and Other Random Musings from a Baby

05/02/2014 R.C. Liley 3 Comments

Yes, you read that right, babies, my dad’s boobs serve no purpose other than to confuse and annoy me!

Every night after my bath, mommy sits down with me and I have no issues with feeding until I go to sleep. Then, when I wake up and cry for more food, mommy will be there to give me what I want; milk! I can just eat until I’m so full all I want to do is sleep.

But, sometimes daddy comes in, sits in the same chair using the same Boppy as mommy and when I go for “the milk source”, I only end up disappointed!

So babies, if your dad grabs you when you’re hungry, save yourself the trouble and wait for some external feeding source. My mom and dad call it a bottle. Here, look at this mug and remember the word next time you are about to go for your dad’s boobs.

What really wets my diaper is that daddy carries me around with his shirt off as if to tease me with his useless nippies. I remember one time, during the day he did this and I thought I’d go for a snack and wound up with hair instead. I was beyond annoyed and didn’t even want to smile for the camera.

Oh yeah, and your daddy may not be the only guy who holds you, so beware. This other guy, they call him my Uncle Preston, held me a few times and, well, he just looked confused himself. I let him know I was not here just to be held!

Then he found my tickle spot and I couldn’t help but laugh. Crap, I broke!

So now I know better than to try getting milk from any guy unless they have a bottle. If you find yourself in a guy’s arms when hungry, just act uninterested until your mommy gets you. I learned this at Easter; sorry, Papa.

Speaking of Easter, I actually have a few things to reflect on from April. Let’s see, where to begin…

My dad seems to enjoy mowing the lawn with his Fiskars reel mower while wearing me in the Onya. I hear him talk about how I just fall asleep while he goes across the yard, but it would be a whole lot better if he didn’t always stop to take pictures of himself with the mower. It’s annoying and I don’t want other babies to see me with my rattle turtle socks!

Strollers, ugh, stroller; when he’s not wearing me he’s running with me in the stroller. This past month has had some nice weather and we went on several runs, but he always used the annoying weather shield to “protect me from dirt.” How about giving me fresh air, dad?! That would be nice and not leave me so unimpressed at the end.

Luckily, mommy set dad straight and he no longer uses the shield. Ha ha ha, it sure was funny to see mommy prove him wrong!

I’ve really been enjoying my time with G-Ma lately, I’m not sure why I used to cry when she visited. Maybe her big, shiny hair scared me, but now I just see it as something fun to pull.

Apparently there’s more to the world than the same loop around our neighborhood and grocery stores. Daddy took me to what he called trails and we saw a lot of green plants and even a river. But seriously dad, how about not making the sun shoot directly in my eyes next time we do a selfie?

Oh yeah, we also saw a character named Bart Simpson while on the trails. Daddy filled me in on The Simpsons and told me some adult babies were coloring where they weren’t allowed.

I’ve grown tired of the chair to my swing and it took forever for mom and dad to get the hint that I was uncomfortable. I just had to exaggerate a little.

My jumper is okay for a while, but I’d prefer not to have a camera shoved in my face when I’m hard at work! Hear that, dad?!

Again, with the camera, just because I turn another month doesn’t mean I turn into some clay model you can put in different poses.

And the bear, ohhhh the bear. I tried whispering to him to help me escape and he was just like dad’s boobs; useless!

Next time, bear, you’re head is mine!

Speaking of models, mommy took a few photos of me when I was on the bed and I must say, I’m pretty cute. Check out my side profile.

Okay, and one more of my awesome, happy face….

I can move anywhere I want to in my crib now, but I always go to the same corner when sleeping at night. Mom and dad try to face me the other way, but I’m smart, I just turn around and go right to my spot. Hey, it’s just who I am!

Playtime is starting to be more fun, but I wish daddy didn’t look so awkward when tickling me.

Even rings have become appealing to me now. There are several colors but daddy always shows me the blue one.

I’ve really been trying to get to the rings when they are out of reach, but so far, rolling doesn’t help the situation. If only there were some other way to get at things in front of you…hmmm

Daddy always brings me to work out with him, but I’m never impressed. Sometimes, I question if he even does anything when he always stops and takes pictures of me. No smiles for you, dad, until you’re finished!

I do like it better being in my Mamas & Papas chair when he’s in the garage though. Points to dad for finally catching on!

And last but never least, thank you, mommy, for being there for me at night when I’m hungry. We all know dad has nothing good and I just love being held by you more anyway.

So those are my thoughts on April; I learned a few things and can’t wait to learn more. For starters, figuring out these Skwish Stix would be nice.

Well babies of the world, until next time, keep my reflections and warnings in mind as you go about learning how to make the most of life. Oh, and, I think I got the Chinese baby look down. Here, tell me if I’m doing it right!

I linked this post with link parties being hosted by the parenting blogs listed below. Check them out for posts by other wonderful parents who have great info and fun to share!

Life, Parenting

Breast Milk with a Fever and Playtime with Avery

04/30/2014 R.C. Liley 6 Comments

Yep, today I’m a stay-at-home dad and husband. Well, technically I’m always those things, but work with me here.

Poor Going Mom, she came home on Monday and seemed fine, but she was suddenly overwhelmed with body aches and a fever. She had just changed and started a workout when her body just didn’t feel up to par.

Kelley had quickly turned so weak it took all she had just to stand, and I wanted to help however possible, but there’s not much I can do for fevers. Of course, I still bugged her and asked if there was anything I could do about 10 times.

With Kelley so weak, I figured I’d need to be the one waking up to feed Avery as her beckoning wails of hunger rang through monitor, but Kelley was still adamant on breastfeeding. And rightly so; breastfeeding when you are sick is actually one of the best things you can do for your baby!

Actually, not breastfeeding while ill increases your baby’s chance of getting sick! I found this excerpt from Kellymom.com and recommend reading the full post here.

The best thing you can do for your baby when you’re sick is to continue to breastfeed. When you have a contagious illness such as a cold, flu, or other mild virus, your baby was exposed to the illness before you even knew you were sick. Your milk will not transmit your illness to baby, but it does have antibodies in it that are specific to your illness (plus anything else you or baby have been exposed to) – they’ll help prevent baby from getting sick, or if he does get sick, he’ll probably not be as sick as you.

And that’s what we did, only I brought Avery to Kelley in our room instead of her going to the nursery like usual. I’m already so grateful that Going Mom is willing to continue strictly breastfeeding Avery since it is the best thing for a baby and obviously free, but to continue when so ill is outstanding!

I just want to say way to go to my dear wife and all other women who are able and willing to breast feed; it’s the best nutrition you can give.

We will be starting to give Avery food in a few weeks since she’ll be 6 months, and then I’ll puree the food with breast milk to ensure good nutrition. Fun times ahead there! I hope she likes pureed Brussels sprouts with breast milk!

On Tuesday morning, Kelley started feeling nauseous so I gave her a Zevia Ginger Ale which helped settle her stomach.

With the intention of working even though she was sick, Kelley needed her laptop. I planned on making a trip to the store anyway, so, with Avery along for the ride, we made a little pit stop at her work and we were on the way to the store.

Back home, Going Mom fed Avery and put her down for a nap while I unloaded groceries and went to the garage for a workout. Afterward, I was starving so I made something for myself and Kelley as a late lunch. Not long after, Avery decided to wake up, so she hung out with me in the kitchen.

Together, Avery and I did what all babies dream of; put together sandwiches for mom! Yep, I make several at a time so I always have one ready for my hardworking wife!

Hmm, so it takes eight slices of bread for one sandwich? I'd rather have boob... — Hmm, so it takes eight slices of bread for one sandwich? I’d rather have boob…

Meanwhile, my sick wife diligently worked on the couch in the living room. Or at least tried since I kept talking and Avery kept blowing raspberries which doesn’t make for the best work environment.

She probably didn’t appreciate that I had the TV on either. Sorry, Kelley. To give her some peace, I took Avery for a long walk in the Ergobaby Ventus while she finished work for the day.

After a rather windy, but otherwise nice weather walk, we returned home to see how Going Mom was doing. Surprisingly, her fever had gone down and no more body aches, but she did have a bad headache. Boo headaches, yay reduced fever!

With her slightly improved condition and work done for the day, we took advantage of our happy daughter and enjoyed playtime together.

She’s been getting more interested in her colored rings and we’ve been working on her sitting up without help. You can see me in the background helping to hold her a little. I tried letting her sit up unassisted, but that only resulted in this..

Oops.

No worries though, playtime was still a go!

How long does that “put anything I can in my mouth” phase last? Or maybe I don’t want to know.

What I do know, is that we’re finding out Avery is a very ticklish baby. Her upper thigh is the most sensitive if the squeeze both sides, it’s my weak spot too, and when I “attack” her legs and stomach.

Poor girl, she’s probably wondering when the annoying “mom and dad tickle everything” phase will end. Well, Avery, I’m here to say it will never end! Even after you’re grown and out of our house, we’ll still tickle attack you like the baby you currently are. Sorry, it’s just love!

Although Going Mom had to get sick, it ended up being a good day just spending time together and playing with our constantly growing baby. We know she’ll be sitting up on her own soon and face planting will be a thing of the past.

If you’re a mom, have you ever had to breastfeed while sick? Dads, same question but for your significant other.

Any thoughts on the importance of breastfeeding over any other kind of feeding? Please share.

Parenting

Why Avery is the Top Baby Model

04/29/2014 R.C. Liley Leave a comment

Does that come off as boisterous? Well, maybe it is…..a little, but if you’re a parent, you already know the answer; because your baby is always the top model!

Furthermore, I’d say us parents think of our offspring as the best for anything! If I’m wrong, I hope your little one gets self confidence somewhere.

This past weekend, Going Mom and I snapped ~~a few~~ ~~a lot~~ hundreds of photos of Avery and they were the best baby pictures we’ve ever seen! I took a few of her sitting in her Mamas & Papas chair as she gave a softer version of the Blue Steel pose from Zoolander. If you haven’t seen the movie, watch it!

Then Kelley shot a few pics while Avery rolled around on our bed. I swear, she furnished smiles that would melt the hearts of even the scroogiest of scrooges. But that’s a daily thing…

She was even good and tilting her head and giving that “I want to play” kind of smile. Maybe not knowingly, but she is the best at everything afterall!

And I mean c’mon, what baby knows to just look straight out the window and be still so mommy can take a picture? What? Oh, that many? Well, I’m pretty positive Avery is a better window looker outer than those other babies.

So maybe I’m biased, but what parent isn’t? I’d feel downright ashamed if I’m like, “Wow, those people have the cutest baby, I wish our baby was that cute.” And I hope Going Mom would slap me across the face if I were to say something like that.

Luckily, I will never say that, so my face can rest assured it won’t be slapped…….at least not for that reason! By now you get my point, most parents think the world of their own baby just like they should, and by giving them this love, I feel it helps build a healthy self-esteem.

Kelley and I tell Avery how much we love her and how beautiful she is multiple times a day, and I hope you do the same for your little one(s). If you haven’t, go right now, and with a smile on your face!

I’m lucky enough to have two beautiful ladies under my roof and I need to make sure I tell them both how wonderful they are and how much I love them.

Admittedly, I did try to submit a few of these pictures to an online photo contest of sorts where agents can see them, but never went through with it. Not because I don’t have confidence in our beautiful baby, not at all, but because the site was trying to charge just to submit photos!

I get they are “helping” Avery be seen by agents and whatnot, but I’m not trying to get her in the modeling business, I just wanted to show my beautiful baby to the world and maybe enter her in a little contest. So, I cancelled the submission once I saw the signs to enter credit card info.

I asked Avery how she would like to have an early career in the modeling industry, but I don’t think she was too interested…