Tag Archives: avery talk

The Love-Hate Relationship: A Toddler’s View

11/11/2015 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

Hi there! It’s me, Avery, I’m taking over Daddy’s blog for a quick explanation about love-hate relationships. Don’t worry, he won’t mind, I practically have him wrapped around my finger…..or at least on my shirt. See?

I’ve had a certain stuffed bear around me my entire life, and no matter how many times we fight, we always seem to make up. Well, now there’s a new animal in the house, Lamby, and he’s become my new favorite stuffed buddy. Even though Bear can make me feel like dancing at times…..

…..he usually just bums me out.

Finally, I decided I must tell him about Lamby and how he is no longer my best stuffed bud. I kept pushing it off, but finally, during breakfast, there was an awkward silence.

I looked over to initiate the conversation with my old plush pal.

He seemed to sense my uneasiness and simply refused to respond or even look at me. Eeek, that awkward feeling got even awkward….er?

Knowing that I must get closure, I was the ~~bigger~~ only person and walked over to him so we could talk, pretty blue eye-to-beady glass black eye.

Then, all of the fights we had, the times he kept getting in my way when sleeping, and how Mommy and Daddy obviously didn’t like him since they just tossed him at me built up inside. I couldn’t help what happened next, my toddler rage took over and wrung his neck!

Just leave me alone, Lamby and I are happy without you!!

I didn’t know I had so much anger inside of me, but I immediately felt bad. I think I even heard poor Bear sniffle a little. Or maybe he has a hidden squeaker…oooo, that would be cool. No, getting sidetracked here, I simply felt the guilt sink in and only grow stronger. We both needed a big bear hug!

I’m so sorry, Bear, I promise, we can still be friends.

And now it’s right back where we started. I still love Lamby more, but Bear thinks we’re all good again. This love-hate relationship stuff is hard, and is truly exhausting….ugh.

Well, whatever the case, I don’t like these confusing relationships one bit. I know I love Mommy and I love Daddy, and apparently I love to hate Bear. For now he can stick around, but if ever goes near Lamby, well, here’s how I feel about that, and no, I’m not pointing at the red “R”.

How NOT To Hold A Toddler

07/17/2015 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

There are many ways on how to hold a toddler, and they shouldn’t be that hard. But, as my Uncle Preston will show you, there are ways on how NOT to hold a toddler as well.

Even before I was a walking, ~~talking~~ blabbering, and crazy toddler, my Uncle P just didn’t quite “get it” when it came to holding me as baby.

Another example…..

Okay, maybe when sitting down it’s not soooo bad, but still, he’s a little awkward about the whole thing. I’m your niece, your blood relative, just hold me normal! Seriously, as I have aged, I’ve been pushed to hold and chew on things from the stress he gives me when being held.

Think I like chewing on purple rubber wands that flash lights? Well yes, yes I do, but that’s besides the point!

Recently, when we spent the night at G-Ma’s for the 4th of July (and Mommy and Daddy just wouldn’t go to sleep!), I had the ~~luxury~~ torture of Uncle P’s awkward embrace.

Please, sense my sarcasm. I tried to hold it in, but my true feelings quickly appeared with my facial expression.

When holding a baby, maybe you can get away with this arm under butt facing out hold, but not now. Actually, how about never? Capeesh? Mark this down, toddler-holding-newbs, don’t do this!

From there, you might think lifting your curled arm up more into a cradle position is better. Cue the Jeopardy buzzer because YOU’RE WRONG!

This is partly my fault for being misleading with a slight, albeit forced, smile. But really I just liked grabbing his watch. So, again, put this holding position on your DO NOT DO list. Unless it’s a cat, that would be funny.

And whatever you try, NEVER try holding a toddler like they are a baby that needs to burp.

At this stage in life, we are perfectly capable of burping for ourselves, and farting too. I tend to enjoy a good fart and laugh at them quite often. As for diapers, please continue changing and cleaning me for now. Thank you.

Lucky for me, Daddy couldn’t stand to watch as Uncle Preston practiced his crappy holding skills on me, so he stepped in for a little toddler-holding tutorial.

Notice my head staring in fear at Uncle Preston’s hands. If you’re ever wondering if you’re doing it right, look for signs like this to know that you are NOT!

After the instruction, I was passed back to my far from confident Uncle for another try.

Fail! Obviously, I was ready to get out of his arms as he glanced at Daddy telling him he’s still doing it wrong. He basically just changed arms and used the same position as the first one I showed! I’m smart, nothing gets by me!

The ways not to hold a toddler are numerous, but these are some of the most common ones I’ve had to endure. Hopefully, to those of you reading this How Not To tutorial, you’ll find a better way before picking up a toddler near you.

Oh, and it’s probably best to make sure you actually know the toddler, otherwise, things could be worse than just an annoyed kid in your arms.

Do you have any family members who just can’t quite “grasp” how to hold your baby/toddler/kid/hopefully not teenager?

Avery Talk, NuttZo, Parenting, Vlog

NuttZo Breakfast Talk: Avery & Daddy Ep. 5

07/10/2015 R.C. Liley 1 Comment

This episode of the Avery & Daddy Video Blog has been brought to you by NuttZo. They did not know I made the video and never asked me to, so therefore I was not compensated in any way. That said, I am a NuttZo Ambassador and love everything that goes in the tasty nut and seed butter as well as what doesn’t.

I just felt like going over the parts of the face that Avery is currently pointing out. As you’ll see in the video, she “nose” (#DadPun) not only her own face, but other faces too. She’ll look clear across the room to point out my pointy nose. She’s so sweet.

Since it happened to be around breakfast time, and she must eat or, well…..it happens, I figured we’d share her favorite combo of NuttZo with cinnamon and banana.. I guess we all get hangry, and when there’s NuttZo involved, there’s no waiting.

As always, hope you enjoyed our Vlog and Avery’s mad facial recognition skills, not to mention her ability to make Nuttzo and banana disappear.