Tag Archives: butt

Life, Parenting

When Do Kids Remember the Doctor’s Office?

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Getting older isn’t always all fun and games. At least, not when you have a visit to the doctor’s office on the agenda, no thanks to Mom and Dad. Our unsuspecting Avery found this out firsthand when we met Going Mom at the doctor’s for her 18 month checkup.

As I was driving, I wondered if Avery would remember the place where shots are given and have a change in her mood. I think I got my answer soon after walking in with my wife…

18 Month Check Up Waiting with Mommy

Yeah, she wasn’t getting the “good vibes” and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she flashed back to previous visits.

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That was her 5 month vaccination trip. As you can tell, we had a grand ol’ time! She definitely remembers that platform. Before there were even shots in sight, Avery freaked as we set her down just to get measurements. 21.6 pounds and 32 inches of pure terror love.

18 Month Check Up Crying Before Shot

What looks like a needle is just the nurse’s pen, if you were wondering. She seemed to calm down after realizing it was just a routine head circumference and length measurement that the nurse wanted and no shots…..yet. We let her roam around the room to explore as we both pulled out our phones to take pictures.

18 Month Check Up in Room Walking

Pictures in the doctor’s office are always a must. So many emotions to capture! We even took turns holding our sweet girl having the other take pictures.

18 Month Check Up With Daddy

I had to tickle her for that priceless smile. Then it was time for the shot. Only one, but it may as well of been fifty; she was irate. With the pitch of an opera singer, Avery let out screams of disapproval as she was held down on the soft and foamy platform torture bed.

18 Month Check Up Preparing for Shot

It really must feel like torture when you’re being held down against your will, huh? What kind of people are we?! Oh yeah, just the typical parents. Actually, there would be more shots if we followed the typical vaccination schedule, but since we’re not bombarding her all at once with shots, she should thank us. Maybe right after this stick….

18 Month Check Up Getting Shot

If you can’t tell, this is the exact moment the needle entered her upper quad region. Poor thing, that opera singer would be envious if she heard the screams emanating from the tiny room in the doctor’s office. There’s nothing like the comfort of Mom to make things better though.

18 Month Check Up Crying with Mommy
At least pull my pants back up!!

Well, that and a Cookie Monster sticker from the receptionist.

18 Month Check Up With Mommy

Just to make sure all is well in the world again, Kelley came back to the car to nurse Avery before she had to go back to work. Nursing right after getting shots is something she has done each time, and it is the perfect way to comfort your upset child.

I love how adamant Going Mom is about making sure Avery is calm and happy; such a wonderful Mommy! And wife! Today we are off to celebrate a neighbor’s 1 year old birthday party and then a belated Mother’s Day with our families. Looking forward to a good day and hopefully more ass healing!

At what age did your kids start to recognize the doctor’s office?

Any big plans for the weekend or just keeping it low key?

Life

Guess What Ass Won’t Let Me Run A Half-Marathon

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I’ve been talking about running the Mother’s Day half-marathon that was delayed to the weekend after Mother’s Day for a while now. You know, the one that got rained/lightninged (word?) out so I indoor rowed the 13.1 miles in our garage before kicking off the Mother’s Day celebration.

Although the forecast is calling for more crappy rain through next Sunday, when the race was rescheduled, I doubt it will be anything severe enough to be cancelled again. But I already know my running in the race is cancelled because of some ass. Can you guess who or what I’m talking about?

Yeah, it’s MY ass!

Disclosure: Some details (words, not pictures) may be too graphic for those faint of heart. Consider this your warning before you continue reading.

Starting around last weekend, I noticed a little lump on the inner part of my butt (hey, it happens), and waived it off as a result of the sweaty workout I did the other day where I was completely drenched in sweat. I figured it was just little painless infection that I will just keep clean and dry and it will go away, no biggie.

WRONG!

It only got worse and eventually became so painful every step I took made me squint and sitting down just wasn’t happening. Even after Going Mom made a calming epsom salt bath for me the day before, it was no match for the infection that was already at DEFCON 1 status.

By Tuesday night, after tossing and turning with no sleep, I finally caved at 3 am and had to find an urgent care or ER facility immediately. Luckily Sadly, there’s plenty of those all over (just like fast food chains….correlation?) and I only had to drive 5 miles. That, by the way, was the most awkward drive ever since I had my butt lifted off the seat the entire time.

From what I read on Dr. Google, I expected to go in, have a doctor make an incision to drain the pus/fluid, and I’d get back in time for my wife to go to work. Once again, I was wrong. I knew it right after having two people look at my ass and gasp as they said “Oh, that’s bad”. Thanks for the comfort, doctor and nurse. Bam, I was tagged.

 

One thing was for sure, they had to get the infection drained and under control quickly since staph (especially MRSA which is what we think it is) is a force to be reckoned with. After the nurse stuck me 5 times (not kidding) on my right arm to start an IV, she had to have someone else come and use my left arm instead. He got it after the second time.

Then I was told to sit and wait a few hours as the surgeon who was on call made it over to operate on my butt. That will never sound right………ever.

They gave me morphine which helped negate the pain a little, but I still couldn’t lay on my back without looking like a deformed squirrel trying to crack open an acorn. I passed time between watching the time and a WPT tournament in Montreal.

ER_Clock_WPT

I tried sleeping, “butt” that wasn’t happening. Note the time was almost 6:30 am then. It wasn’t until 7:40 until the surgeon finally made it in. I know the world doesn’t revolve around my ass, but I have a right to complain anyway, right?

The guy who showed up had long gray hair in a ponytail and was wearing a Harley-Davidson shirt. That made me grateful I didn’t have a motorcycle to ride home on; OUCH! He was actually very nice and upfront with me, which I appreciated.

All he did was numb the area and worked to drain the infection. Holy hell that was the worst pain ever, and that’s with another dose of morphine! There I was, flat on my stomach and gripping the bed rails as two guys worked on getting crap out of my ass. A new life low had just hit.

Ten painful minutes later I was putting my shorts on over my gauze-stuffed butt and waited for a friend to come pick me up. He drove me home and took Kelley back to my car and she picked up my prescriptions. 2 antibiotics and Tylenol with codeine. I hate pain killers, but after suffering through the day, I did take one last night. I’m not officially a hypocrite. Damn you, ass!

Kelley ended up staying home all day and her work was completely understanding, so that was nice. She helped and tried to get me to stay still, but it was bad enough that the doctor told me to back off of exercise for a few days and definitely NO running.

“So I can’t run 13.1 miles on Sunday, huh?” I asked.

“No.” was the only reply.

And there you have it, I’m typing this with gauze still in my crack (no, not the same from the hospital) and pain radiating there as well. Hopefully the swelling will be down soon and the culture they are running on the drained fluid shows that they gave me the right antibiotics to knock this crap out of my system.

Back in 2011, I had a bad case of MRSA while on vacation in Colorado, so I guess this is the bacteria flaring up in my body again. I’ll keep you updated on my road to a hopeful recovery. I know everyone’s concerned. 🙂

Just be glad I didn’t share any pictures of the thing! I told Kelley I’m still going to run 13.1 miles around our home once I’m better, so we’ll see how that pans out.

Have you ever dealt with staph and/or MRSA?

Did I gross you out at all or as a parent, are you used to gross things? Throwing poop, maybe?