cancer Archives - Going Dad

Almost a year ago, a man named Oren Miller was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. After an arduous fight composed of painful treatments to remove the cancer, Oren lost the battle this past weekend on Saturday, February 28th. Despite this saddening news, I can still smile because I know, in spirit and our hearts, he will live on forever.

As the creator of a Dad Bloggers Facebook group that is now 1000+ strong, Oren is responsible for providing an outlet/resource for dads all over the world. It is a place for us to vent, share thoughts, help each other out with serious life issues or just to tweet out their latest blog post, and most importantly, grow as better fathers, husbands, and men.

I have the post of him welcoming me along with several other great dads into the group on February 4th, 2014. Since joining, I have posted numerous times seeking guidance for help with my blog as well as with our daughter, Avery. I never had the honor of meeting Oren in person, but it’s not necessary to feel the impact he has on so many.

I realized this when the news of his cancer first came out. Our community of Dads quickly created a charity to raise funds so Oren and his family could go on a wonderful vacation that inevitably would be his last. I gave what I could and helped spread the word on my blog, along with many other dad bloggers.

Though he may be gone, he is certainly not forgotten, and will live on forever in the hearts of many and among our close-knit Dad Blogger community. I could never imagine someone I hardly knew could affect me, as well as so many others who never met him, like he has, but it’s clear he means a lot to all of us.

Many dads have posted tributes to Oren on their blogs, and one even posted a video to You Tube of him singing a Bob Dylan song in his honor. I’ve only started writing for the UK-based blog Love All Dads (LADs, for short), by creating a monthly round up of U.S. dad bloggers. When I asked the creator of LADs, Darren, about sharing a special #Dads4Oren Round Up, he loved the idea.

Below is the post you can also find on LADs by clicking here, but I felt sharing it here as well. After reading a few posts, you’ll realize just how much Oren means to all of us as you can feel the passion emanating from the written, spoken, and yes, even sung words from other dads.

I hope you have a wonderful week, and make sure to tell those around you how much you love them as you hold them close to your heart. Here’s my post:

Hello, fellow dads, both nearby and abroad. It is with a heavy heart and solemn mind I am writing this before it’s even close to the end of March for round 3 of the U.S. Dad Bloggers Round Up, but I feel compelled to honor one of us.

Oren Miller, the man behind the blog A Blogger and a Father, passed away on Saturday, February 28^th, after a long battle with stage 4 lung cancer. You can read what he wrote upon finding out here. Oren was also the creator of the best Dad Bloggers Facebook Group around, and I’m proud to be a part of the 1,000+ dads who are members.

There aren’t enough digital pages to fit all of the wonderful ways Oren has affected us dads and so many people everywhere. A quick glance from members filling our Dad Bloggers Group page with posts of how Oren is near and dear to their hearts, and you realize this man hasn’t passed, he’ll live on forever!

Today, for a special edition of the Dad Bloggers Round Up, I am simply sharing the posts published in honor of Oren by dad bloggers all over. Please be sure to visit as many as you can and share with everyone around you.

His funeral is Monday, March 2^nd, and many of us are banding together by getting outside with our friends and family, snapping a photo, and sharing it on social media with the hashtag #LoveWalkForOren. If you can, please join in by sharing your own photos or following the event online.

These are only a few of the many posts written as a tribute to Oren. Follow #Dads4Oren to find more and share to your heart’s content:

Nick Browne from Papa Brownie wrote The Finality of Life: A Tribute to Oren.

Nick is also part of the Poppin Bottles podcast where him and his friend Ben Mullen from the blog Dad on the Mic, recently talked with painful hearts on the passing of Oren in their latest episode.

Chris Ratcliffe, owner of the blog Dad Goes Round, simply title his post A Tribute.

Ashley Beolens, co-author on When the Dust Settles wrote Passing of a Stranger

Jeff Tepper, a member from the Dallas Dads Group that I’m also a part of which is a branch from the national City Dads Group, shared a heartfelt post on the group page that can be viewed here.

Bill Peebles, from the awesomely named blog ihopeiwinatoaster skipped the writing and felt it best to pay tribute in song. Watch and listen to his rendition of Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” on YouTube in Oren’s honor.

Jack Steiner, owner of the blog The JackB, shared his thoughts in People Die & We Move On.

Buzz Bishop, creator of the Canadian dad blog, Dad Camp, recently posted his own collection of Oren blog post tributes as well as his thoughts on These Men Make Me Want to be a Better Dad.

**One more I meant to include but forgot until writing my blog post is from Creed Anthony, blogger on Tales from the Poop Deck. Creed’s words hold true for how a lot of us felt and still feel, and his post is rightfully titled, My Friend Oren.

Lastly, here’s a link to a local online news publication in his area, Baltimore, MD, announcing the loss of a great father, blogger, and all around friend.

Life happens too fast, I know I’m guilty of not just living in the moment, and we need to slow it down when possible. Make sure to pause, take in the world around you, and hold your loved ones close every day. Tell them that you love them and hold them tight.

It’s a question no one wants to face, let alone answer, but the harsh reality is that many of us do every day. Oren Miller, the founder of a lively Facebook group for dad bloggers, is now faced with answering such a question.

Almost a month ago, Oren went to the hospital when he had severe back pain from what he thought was a muscle spasm. It turned out to be much worse; stage 4 lung cancer that has now spread to his lymph nodes, kidneys, liver, and brain. He wrote about his diagnosis on his blog, A Blogger and a Father, in a post he titled “Cancer”. After reading his touching story, I could hardly swallow from the giant lump in my throat.

I never met Oren, but since becoming part of the Dad Bloggers Facebook group that he founded, I am forever grateful for everything he’s done. There are over 800 members of the group today, and I share thoughts, stories, and rants on a daily basis with all of them. These guys have helped me as a father, husband, and with my small blog by sharing lessons they’ve learned along the way, and I am a better person and blogger/writer as a result.

I haven’t met any of them in person, but I consider these dads my friends as all have something in common and always help each other out. I’ve even connected with a few local dads who I will be meeting soon. All of this, because of one man who is also a loving husband and father to two children.

As I stood looking down at Avery playing with a “new” activity board I just made for her, Oren’s situation was weighing on my mind. What if I were told I had less than a year on this planet?

That giant lump returned as I looked at my precious little girl smiling at the board I made her as I thought the unthinkable. I don’t cry very often, but I felt that the slightest thing could’ve opened my floodgates right then.

Never, ever, would I want anyone to face a situation like this. Being a relative “newb” to the Facebook group, I was moved at how fast all of the dad bloggers were to respond upon hearing Oren’s news. Automatically, my respect for this guy grew like Jack’s beanstalk.

Within days, a fundraising page was created with the goal to raise enough money to send Oren and his family on lovely vacation. The original goal of $5,000 was quickly met and is now nearing $30,000!This truly will be the vacation of a lifetime.

The donations have been overwhelming, and I’m happy to have contributed what little I could, but now I’m asking YOU for help. With cancer treatments and medical expenses quickly adding up, it is evident that additional funds will be needed to help cover these as well. Not to mention help Beth, Oren’s wife, provide for their children.

Seeing how many people have already flooded Oren and his family with support and donations, it’s easy for us to fall into the “Bystander Effect“. This occurs when others do not offer help to someone in need if there are others (bystanders) already around.

We see others around and think “What else can I do besides offer kind words?” Well, each and every one of us can help by making a donation we are comfortable with, be it 5 or 5,000 dollars, and know that together we make something huge!

Please help by going to Oren’s Fundraising Page and giving whatever you can.

I am a firm believer in the power of mind, and would like to think I could remain optimistic like Oren should the news ever befall me. If you believe you will fail at something, you inevitably will fail, but if you tell yourself you WILL succeed, then you can overcome any obstacle.

The more donations and words of encouragement given on his page, the more power we give to Oren and his family to remain optimistic and fight this obstical!