Tag Archives: dad bloggers

Life

Less Than a Year to Live: What Would You Do?

06/26/2014 R.C. Liley 1 Comment

It’s a question no one wants to face, let alone answer, but the harsh reality is that many of us do every day. Oren Miller, the founder of a lively Facebook group for dad bloggers, is now faced with answering such a question.

Almost a month ago, Oren went to the hospital when he had severe back pain from what he thought was a muscle spasm. It turned out to be much worse; stage 4 lung cancer that has now spread to his lymph nodes, kidneys, liver, and brain. He wrote about his diagnosis on his blog, A Blogger and a Father, in a post he titled “Cancer”. After reading his touching story, I could hardly swallow from the giant lump in my throat.

I never met Oren, but since becoming part of the Dad Bloggers Facebook group that he founded, I am forever grateful for everything he’s done. There are over 800 members of the group today, and I share thoughts, stories, and rants on a daily basis with all of them. These guys have helped me as a father, husband, and with my small blog by sharing lessons they’ve learned along the way, and I am a better person and blogger/writer as a result.

I haven’t met any of them in person, but I consider these dads my friends as all have something in common and always help each other out. I’ve even connected with a few local dads who I will be meeting soon. All of this, because of one man who is also a loving husband and father to two children.

As I stood looking down at Avery playing with a “new” activity board I just made for her, Oren’s situation was weighing on my mind. What if I were told I had less than a year on this planet?

That giant lump returned as I looked at my precious little girl smiling at the board I made her as I thought the unthinkable. I don’t cry very often, but I felt that the slightest thing could’ve opened my floodgates right then.

Never, ever, would I want anyone to face a situation like this. Being a relative “newb” to the Facebook group, I was moved at how fast all of the dad bloggers were to respond upon hearing Oren’s news. Automatically, my respect for this guy grew like Jack’s beanstalk.

Within days, a fundraising page was created with the goal to raise enough money to send Oren and his family on lovely vacation. The original goal of $5,000 was quickly met and is now nearing $30,000!This truly will be the vacation of a lifetime.

The donations have been overwhelming, and I’m happy to have contributed what little I could, but now I’m asking YOU for help. With cancer treatments and medical expenses quickly adding up, it is evident that additional funds will be needed to help cover these as well. Not to mention help Beth, Oren’s wife, provide for their children.

Seeing how many people have already flooded Oren and his family with support and donations, it’s easy for us to fall into the “Bystander Effect“. This occurs when others do not offer help to someone in need if there are others (bystanders) already around.

We see others around and think “What else can I do besides offer kind words?” Well, each and every one of us can help by making a donation we are comfortable with, be it 5 or 5,000 dollars, and know that together we make something huge!

Please help by going to Oren’s Fundraising Page and giving whatever you can.

I am a firm believer in the power of mind, and would like to think I could remain optimistic like Oren should the news ever befall me. If you believe you will fail at something, you inevitably will fail, but if you tell yourself you WILL succeed, then you can overcome any obstacle.

The more donations and words of encouragement given on his page, the more power we give to Oren and his family to remain optimistic and fight this obstical!

Life, Parenting

6 Ways Playing Halo Prepared Me to Be a Dad

06/21/2014 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

Parenting means trading this sticky grenade for poop. Basically the same thing!!

Ahhh, the days of playing Halo on Xbox! Most of my college days were spent slaying and being slayed in multiplayer battles with people all over the world. And let’s not forget the epic Capture the Flag (CTF) sessions; loved those!

Well, first we used giant, 75ft Ethernet cables to connect multiple Xbox’s before Xbox Live became an option, but either way, it was a blast.

Long gone are the days of playing video games, I don’t even own a game system now, but there will always be a gamer inside of me. I’d be lying if I said I don’t have the urge to play every now and then, but I’d much rather be doing something active as a family so we can set a good example for Avery. I know we’ll allow her screen time and maybe we’ll even get another game system to play together one day, but we won’t let it become a habit.

Over the years of my Halo playing, homework was pushed aside more often than not, and I’m sure I even missed a few classes as a result of staying up too late to play. But that’s not to say I have nothing to show for my countless hours of battling opponents across the globe and going back and forth with smack talk as we sat in the “waiting room” waiting on our game to load. Actually, in retrospect, Halo has taught me several things that have helped prepare me to become a parent.

Hesitation can get you killed. When battling an opponent in Halo, hesitating is a guaranteed way to get pistol-whipped in the back of the head or sniped from afar. This applies to parenting in that hesitation can result in lost opportunity. If your baby is starting to crawl, do you run and grab a camera, and if so, digital or video? You have to think fast, without hesitation, or you’ll miss capture the “first” moment to relive years down the road.
Teamwork is key. When in battle, sometimes you need to leave your ego at the door and help your teammates instead of getting all of the kill points yourself. Or during an intense CTF session, you work with your team to decide who defends your flag while others seek to capture the opponent’s. You never know when you’ll need help from a teammate, so keeping them on your good side is vital. Going Mom and I have our differences, as do all couples (right?), but I know that by having her back and working with instead of against her makes things much easier for the both of us. As a SAHD, I am the guardian of our flag (home and Avery), while Kelley works to capture the flag (earn income). So far, we’re both “winning”.
Experience yields success. The first time I played Halo, I could hardly figure out how to move in a straight line, much less actually shoot something! But over time, maybe too much time, I was on the leaderboard when facing many opponents online and amongst my friends. Practice makes perfect, right? Same goes for parenting; you learn as you go. As every month passes, Kelley and I are just a little more experienced than the last and feel more confident in our parenting skills. Now we are better able to tell if Avery’s cries are purely for attention or if she has a poopy diaper.
Anticipation is education. Educating yourself to know what your opponent will do before they do it is key to survival. If you know one of your enemies has a favorite hiding spot, you get there first and surprise attack him when he arrives. As a parent, it’s important to create a daily routine so your baby learns to anticipate most of the daily activities. Also, when playing with your baby, they learn anticipation when you do things like gently blow in their face/ear, tickle them, or just make a surprise sound with exaggerated facial features.
Winning and losing comes in streaks. There would be some sessions where I was on a role and get several “Killtaculars” (it’s a Halo thing if you didn’t know), and then other days I’d just get killed the moment I respawned. Its life, it happens. As a stay-at-home parent, I have awesome days where Avery is a happy baby, we enjoy time together, and she takes the bottle without fussing. But then other days it seems as if she has a personal vendetta on daddy and screams at the tiniest indication I might set her down, and there’s no way in hell she’s having a bottle. Understanding I’ll have these streaks allows me to move on and simply look forward to the next day without stressing over lost battles. Even though I sometimes still do
Don’t try to be Legendary. In Halo, you can play the campaign on an Easy, Normal, Heroic, or Legendary setting. As you would guess, Legendary is extremely hard and even the weakest alien opponent can do major damage. In parenting, this equates to biting off more than you can chew. Our babies aren’t asking us to be “Legendary”, just give them love and attention and they will love you for it. As cool as it might be to do everything and then some, focus on what matters, your baby and family; other things can wait.

I’m extremely guilty of trying to be Legendary, which results in me getting killed (a.k.a overstressed) as a result. As parents, we are never done learning, but thanks to those years of playing Halo, I’m a little ahead of the game.

Can you attribute anything out of the ordinary to helping you prepare to be a parent? I’d love to hear your input in the comments below.

Food, Parenting

The Healthiest Fast Food Restaurants for Kids

06/20/2014 R.C. Liley 11 Comments

After extensive research and numerous comparison tests, I have compiled the healthiest fast food restaurants for our children. To some, the results might be shocking, while it may come as no surprise to others.

With all of the claims made on billboards, tv, and magazines, it’s hard to know what truly is best when it comes to going to a fast food establishment. Hopefully this info will help you navigate the confusing hub bub and make the best decisions for your family.

Here is my list of the healthiest fast food joints to take your kids:

1. NONE!

And that concludes my list.

Nope, I didn’t forget 2, 3, 4, etc.; number one is the only answer. There is no healthy fast food restaurant for anyone, and especially your children who depend on you to provide! Maybe there are healthier choices, but they are still devoid of the nutrition from something similar made at home.

I get that many parents are short on time, but I don’t see that as being a good reason to resort to fast food or frozen, packaged meals to feed your kids. True, I don’t know everyone’s life story or current situation, but our kids depend on us, their parents, to protect and properly provide for them.

If you claim to care about your child’s health, then why subject them to overly processed, chemical laden “food”? It’s unfair to children who don’t know the difference between healthy vs. unhealthy food, and can only accept what you get them or have nothing at all.

Most fast food options will have you waiting in line either at the drive-thru or inside which can take upwards of 15 to 30 minutes depending on time of day. Alternatively, you could prepare a healthy meal with whole foods at home and even get the entire family involved.

And the argument over the cost of healthy food being too high is absurd. The amount of money you spend on going out easily outweighs the cost of buying your own ingredients and cooking at home. Factor in the gas it takes to go wherever you’re going, price for drinks, added tip if at a sit-down restaurant, and the lesser quality food that impacts health, it’s just not worth it.

We show Avery how eating our homemade meals makes us feel great and gives us energy to get through the day. Plus, making your own food can be educational and fun for your kids. She watches me prepare meals in the kitchen and then takes part in eating (or attempting to eat) healthy foods like carrots, broccoli, and lately, cucumber.

It’s important to start your kid on the path to eating healthy from the start, but I realize many of you have grown children who may resist your attempts at offering healthy food. This is no reason to just give up and let them go about their way; that’s just a guarantee to lead your child down the path to obesity.

Here are 5 ways to get your kids interested in healthier food options and maybe even help you bond more as a result:

Teach by example. As parents, we are our children’s role models, so when you eat healthy, they will want to eat healthy too.
Take them grocery shopping. Sounds crazy, huh? Well, stay out of the middle isles with colorful boxes promising “fun” and “happiness” and peruse the perimeter with your kid. Let them pick out a new produce item to take home; they will be more interested in trying something they chose.
Let them help. If your kids are old enough, get them in the kitchen to “help” however they can. Just having the slightest bit of participation will make kids more prone to trying something they had a part in preparing.
Don’t give up. If at first you don’t succeed, try again! A child may need to see a food several times before actually trying it, so be persistent. We learned this with Avery; she wouldn’t look at the carrots we gave her, but now she’ll pick them up and bring them right to her mouth!
Make it easy. Kids (and most adults) tend to pick food based on what’s the easiest to grab. So when looking for a snack, most of us will grab that bag of chips instead of chopping fresh produce into bite-size pieces. Try cutting fruit and veggies and have them ready to grab right out of the fridge for your kids to snack on. You’ll be surprised at how they’ll go for them now that they are easy to eat! This will also help the adults in the house!

By now, you get my point, if you truly want to best for your kids and want them to grow up strong and healthy, focus on healthy food. Exercise is another important aspect, and I’ll get into that on another post I’m sure. For children, just getting outside and being active is the best exercise. Limit time in front of a screen and hey, try joining and playing outside with them!

Here’s a long, but extremely eye-opening info-graphic on the childhood obesity epidemic; it’s sad to read, and I hope to do what I can to change this!

Our kids look up to us and want to do what we do, so by living a healthy life, we are helping shape a healthy future for our little ones. If you don’t know how to start on a healthier path, MR. Google has plenty of information.

This post is part of the “I’m Proud of That” Link-up on the Daddy Space blog. Click the badge below to check out other awesome parent bloggers:

Here’s a search I performed for you to find Healthy, easy weekday meals.

Are you currently trying to change your unhealthy habits at home?

Do you already follow healthy living? If so, any tips for other parents?