Tag Archives: death

Going Healthy, Going Strong, Health, Life

Dealing With Cancer In The Family

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Unfortunately, it’s something that every family is going to have to deal with at some point or another. With cancer these days striking 50% of us, this is clearly just a fact of life that we all have to learn how to live with. But when it hits your own family, it’s something that you are going to need to understand as best as you can – and this can be hard when you are in the midst of it. Here are some ideas on what you might want to think about when it comes to dealing with cancer in the family.

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Image Source – CCO License

Supporting One Another

One of the main things you will need to do in this situation is to ensure that the family is supporting one another. This is vital for the sake of everyone involved, especially the individual who actually has cancer. Supporting one another can look like many different things. It might be that you are going to simply be by their sides, or that you are spending more time together and trying to laugh together. If it is a particularly difficult time and they are undergoing procedures such as chemotherapy, then you can also look into purchasing some of these gifts for chemo patients. These are not only practical, but can also help the person to feel comforted and help them to take their mind off of things. However you do it, supporting one another in this way is vital for everyone to keep on moving as best as they can.

Looking Into Options

In terms of treatment, you are probably going to want to keep your options wide open as best as you can, to ensure that the individual with cancer is as likely as possible to recover swiftly and fully. Chances are, you will first be trying the standard medical care and seeing how that goes. And you might also be considering holistic cancer treatment centers if that is something you want to try as a complementary approach or an alternative. At all times, the important thing is that the individual themselves has the final say and they are happy with whatever approach is taken.

Managing Emotions

There are always going to be a lot of emotions when something like this is happening, and they will need to be managed and dealt with properly if they are going to be in a better place. That again is something that you can do together as a family, and you should find that you are much more likely to get through it together if you are working through the emotions as one. So all in all, this is the kind of thing that you should focus on from the start as best as you can.

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Image Source – CCO License

Looking Ahead
Whether or not you know what the prognosis is likely to be, it’s important that everyone is doing their best to look ahead, with as much positivity as possible. That can’t be forced, of course, but it is something that you should be able to focus on in some way if you are keen on trying to make it through, and if you do it together you are going to find it so much easier. Looking ahead will enable you to still have hope in your hearts, which really matters in all this.

Life, Parenting

Dear Frog, I’m Sorry For Killing You

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We’ve had a frog friend around our home for almost a year and always enjoyed searching for him when we went outside each day. Avery was a tad bit reluctant to get close to the frog at first, and I’m sure I didn’t help matters much.


As a reptile/amphibian lover, I couldn’t accept her not liking our new froggy friend, so I would gently hold him up to her hoping she’d find the courage to pet the little guy.

petting frog, kids, amphibian, reptiles

I was just happy when she didn’t run the other way when I held him up to her. At a safe distance, of course.

petting frog, kids, amphibian, reptiles
Yes, Dad, I see it. That’s far enough!

Over the months, she found enjoyment searching for Mr. Frog burrowed in one of his several spots in our backyard. For a while, her and Going Mom would find him in a hole at the base of one of our trees. They’d peek down inside and tell him “hi”……he never responded.

Eventually, the frog made use of our rain barrel by seeking shelter underneath the raised water capture device while enjoying the perfect amount of shade and moisture. Every time I mowed our lawn, Avery would follow and find him venturing out from his hiding spot. Maybe to say hello, but I’m thinking the mower had something to do with it.

Sometimes he’d be burrowed in a muddy spot right in front of us and we would never see him until he finally spooked and jumped away to the safety of the rain barrel cover. Then we’d just get on our hands and knees, to stare at him as most likely hoped we just left him alone. Normally, we stopped trying to pester our amphibious friend, unless he reemerged from under the barrel.

A video posted by RC Liley (@going_dad) on


I’m just happy she’s into the cold-blooded insect eater now. Every dad’s dream, right?

Well, this dad I know…aka me…..put an end to our froggy fun this past weekend. I was mowing in the back like normal, careful to check all around the area Mr. Frog hung around before passing over, but never saw his bumpy skinned self in sight. So I carried on with mowing expecting to see him later when all of the sudden I hear “thump-a-dee-thud-thud-errrrr” emit from the blades.

Sh*t

Out of the side discharge shot Mr. Frog, or what was left of him. Apparently, he found a new spot to burrow. Unfortunately, it was not as muddy there and he couldn’t burrow himself down enough to allow the mower to make a clean pass. That was the end of our backyard frog friend. At least we still have the burrow spot to keep him in our thoughts.

dead_frog_burrow

Avery was there, but her attention was devoted to screaming “dandelion” at the top of her lungs as she just recently learned their name and loves picking them. Plus, she still doesn’t understand death, even after seeing the frog’s torn carcass.

So, frog, my friend (we’re still friends, right?), I just want to personally say Sorry. Had I known you were in a new spot in our yard, I totally would of avoided mowing there or tried to relocate you. Most likely holding and petting you first, but still, safe and still alive. Again, sorry, and I hope you’re in some sort of  special froggy land catching the juiciest of flies with that extra long and sticky tongue of yours..

The good news is that we still have a frog at the front of our house. We see him sitting on our front porch each night as we finish dinner, and Avery makes sure to say goodnight to him with Mommy before her bath. Hopefully he doesn’t find a new spot to hang out next time we mow!!

Have you ever killed a wild yard-dweller by accident?

What about on purpose?

Life, Parenting

How One Dad Will Live Forever – #Dads4Oren

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Almost a year ago, a man named Oren Miller was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. After an arduous fight composed of painful treatments to remove the cancer, Oren lost the battle this past weekend on Saturday, February 28th. Despite this saddening news, I can still smile because I know, in spirit and our hearts, he will live on forever.

As the creator of a Dad Bloggers Facebook group that is now 1000+ strong, Oren is responsible for providing an outlet/resource for dads all over the world. It is a place for us to vent, share thoughts, help each other out with serious life issues or just to tweet out their latest blog post, and most importantly, grow as better fathers, husbands, and men.

I have the post of him welcoming me along with several other great dads into the group on February 4th, 2014. Since joining, I have posted numerous times seeking guidance for help with my blog as well as with our daughter, Avery. I never had the honor of meeting Oren in person, but it’s not necessary to feel the impact he has on so many.

I realized this when the news of his cancer first came out. Our community of Dads quickly created a charity to raise funds so Oren and his family could go on a wonderful vacation that inevitably would be his last. I gave what I could and helped spread the word on my blog, along with many other dad bloggers.

Though he may be gone, he is certainly not forgotten, and will live on forever in the hearts of many and among our close-knit Dad Blogger community. I could never imagine someone I hardly knew could affect me, as well as so many others who never met him, like he has, but it’s clear he means a lot to all of us.

Many dads have posted tributes to Oren on their blogs, and one even posted a video to You Tube of him singing a Bob Dylan song in his honor. I’ve only started writing for the UK-based blog Love All Dads (LADs, for short), by creating a monthly round up of U.S. dad bloggers. When I asked the creator of LADs, Darren, about sharing a special #Dads4Oren Round Up, he loved the idea.

Below is the post you can also find on LADs by clicking here, but I felt sharing it here as well. After reading a few posts, you’ll realize just how much Oren means to all of us as you can feel the passion emanating from the written, spoken, and yes, even sung words from other dads.

I hope you have a wonderful week, and make sure to tell those around you how much you love them as you hold them close to your heart. Here’s my post:

Dads4Oren_Candle

Hello, fellow dads, both nearby and abroad. It is with a heavy heart and solemn mind I am writing this before it’s even close to the end of March for round 3 of the U.S. Dad Bloggers Round Up, but I feel compelled to honor one of us.

Oren Miller, the man behind the blog A Blogger and a Father, passed away on Saturday, February 28th, after a long battle with stage 4 lung cancer. You can read what he wrote upon finding out here. Oren was also the creator of the best Dad Bloggers Facebook Group around, and I’m proud to be a part of the 1,000+ dads who are members.

There aren’t enough digital pages to fit all of the wonderful ways Oren has affected us dads and so many people everywhere. A quick glance from members filling our Dad Bloggers Group page with posts of how Oren is near and dear to their hearts, and you realize this man hasn’t passed, he’ll live on forever!

Today, for a special edition of the Dad Bloggers Round Up, I am simply sharing the posts published in honor of Oren by dad bloggers all over. Please be sure to visit as many as you can and share with everyone around you.

His funeral is Monday, March 2nd, and many of us are banding together by getting outside with our friends and family, snapping a photo, and sharing it on social media with the hashtag #LoveWalkForOren. If you can, please join in by sharing your own photos or following the event online.

#LoveWalkForOren

These are only a few of the many posts written as a tribute to Oren. Follow #Dads4Oren to find more and share to your heart’s content:

Nick Browne from Papa Brownie wrote The Finality of Life: A Tribute to Oren.

Nick is also part of the Poppin Bottles podcast where him and his friend Ben Mullen from the blog Dad on the Mic, recently talked with painful hearts on the passing of Oren in their latest episode.

Chris Ratcliffe, owner of the blog Dad Goes Round, simply title his post A Tribute.

Ashley Beolens, co-author on When the Dust Settles wrote Passing of a Stranger

Jeff Tepper, a member from the Dallas Dads Group that I’m also a part of which is a branch from the national City Dads Group, shared a heartfelt post on the group page that can be viewed here.

Bill Peebles, from the awesomely named blog ihopeiwinatoaster skipped the writing and felt it best to pay tribute in song. Watch and listen to his rendition of Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” on YouTube in Oren’s honor.

Jack Steiner, owner of the blog The JackB, shared his thoughts in People Die & We Move On.

Buzz Bishop, creator of the Canadian dad blog, Dad Camp, recently posted his own collection of Oren blog post tributes as well as his thoughts on These Men Make Me Want to be a Better Dad.

**One more I meant to include but forgot until writing my blog post is from Creed Anthony, blogger on Tales from the Poop Deck.  Creed’s words hold true for how a lot of us felt and still feel, and his post is rightfully titled, My Friend Oren.

Lastly, here’s a link to a local online news publication in his area, Baltimore, MD, announcing the loss of a great father, blogger, and all around friend.

Life happens too fast, I know I’m guilty of not just living in the moment, and we need to slow it down when possible. Make sure to pause, take in the world around you, and hold your loved ones close every day. Tell them that you love them and hold them tight.