Tag Archives: fatherhood

10 Tips for A New and Nervous Dad

Becoming a new dad can be a dicey affair. Suddenly, everything stops revolving around you and the newborn suddenly becomes the center of attention. The world starts conniving against you and you kick into panic mode! The endless wails around the night, you suddenly lose interest in your favorite football matches and Jimmy you buddy seems to be having the time of his life with the newly found girl. 

There are many things that come attached to the title daddy and topping the list is nervousness and panic. Things like changing diapers or even feeding the little prince or princess suddenly become a bother.

Well, daddy you are on the right flight, destination “cool and composed daddy.”  

As a new dad, beginning a relationship with your child involves quitting your normal life and sacrificing more time for your family, cutting off extra expenditure, and in some instances changing friends just to mention but a few. 

Although becoming a dad is one of the eventful periods you’ll ever experience in your life, its also compounded with a lot of emotions. The fact that you are going to have a huge impact on your lovely kid may leave you having sleepless nights, wondering what to do and where to start _ not to mention trying to please the society.

However, as a new baby sets foot into this world, he/she expects to be received with warm hands by both parents. You as the dad don’t want to be the canvas upon which your world paints a picture of a cruel world. For that reason, we’ve compiled a list of 10 tips that will help you go through this episode successfully. 

Act like a grown-up 

It would be extremely unpleasant and disturbing when you don’t take parenting seriously. Parenting isn’t easy and you may be tempted to result in drinking. 

However, at this point, your family needs you at home for moral support and your presence alone means a lot to your wife and baby. If happiness is what you are looking for in drinking kids are an endless source of joy.

Going out for drinks isn’t necessarily bad, but overindulging and hiding your parenting emotions through it is unquestionably lackadaisical. 

Talk to your baby more often 

A recently published study stated that a baby emulates the characteristics of his parents. Talking to your child is one of the main factors that lead to them developing cognitive behaviors and communication.  

Moreover, singing songs and narrating stories to them enhances your father-son bonding which has been shown to reduce constrained relationships once they grow up.  

Involve yourself with the baby 

From the onset, be present as the dad. Get involved in the daily care and upkeep of your baby creates a special bond hence reducing the nervousness. After all, you get to realize that bathing, changing diapers, dressing and playing with your cute baby is absolutely normal and doable.  

Additionally, spending time with your baby gives the mother time to rest. More rest time for the mum means that they will have the energy to look after the baby once you are resting. 

 It’s ok to get help 

It’s a blessing to have friends, family, and neighbors who really care about your welfare. They will purposely give gifts to show love and celebrate the life of your kid. Therefore, even if you are full of ego and pride it always good to accept any gift.  

On occasions where you are struggling financially, you can always ask for help from close friends. Help may literally get your life going leaving you with little to worry about.  

Don’t forget other relationships  

Getting a baby doesn’t mean you abandon your other relationships. Getting back on your feet and returning to your role as a friend, team player at your job placement and more importantly as a devoted spouse is key.  

Parenting shouldn’t feel like an eternal prison for you as the dad. Instead, it should be a complement to your already existing life. As the kid’s age progresses, the pressure eventually reduces and you eventually go back to your element.  

Never have regrets  

It’s absolutely normal to have negative thoughts but regrets shouldn’t be one of them. Kids are special gifts from God and should be embraced by all means.  

Once you become a dad, the last thing you want to do is spend the rest of your life regretting. The only thing you should regret about is not having enough time with your family doubting yourself.

To avoid all the negative thought, engage and interact with positive friends who will always appreciate that you have become a father instead of blaming you for not showing up in the pub the day before. 

Educate yourself 

There’s no worse moment than lack of information, especially to new parents. As the saying goes “lack of information can only reward you with embarrassment” always be informed. 

It’s during the moments when you don’t know what to do that nervousness kicks in and your mind switches to panic mode.   

Bury your head in parenting magazines to equip yourself with information. They give you nuggets and golden parachutes to tackle almost every challenge. However, not all knowledge comes from books.  Attending parenting seminars, talking to other dads, and asking help from close family members also helps. However, hanging out with your child is always the best blueprint for working your way up the parenthood ladder. 

Protect yourself 

Your new life as a new dad comes with new responsibilities. You surely don’t want your baby to suffer the effects of being raised by a single mother just because you got reckless and hurt yourself to the extent of being unable to support your partner. 

Look out for yourself both physically and mentally. Hit the gym occasionally and tame unhealthy lifestyle choices. The fatherhood journey isn’t a short one and being healthy is important.  

Accept all offers to babysit  

If you don’t have anything going on with your life, have a good sit-down with your kid and teach them a thing or two. 

However, you may want to go on a road trip with your friends or take a walk. By accepting babysitting offer, you get a chance to offload fatigue which makes it easier for both of you as parents.

You can catch up and take stock of your relationship over a dinner as friends or relatives take care of the kid. 

Embark on household chores 

We all feel lazy to do household chores as they are a bit annoying. However, we are no longer in the 19th century where men used to sit down smoking cigar all day leaving all the house chores to the wife. 

For heaven’s sake, she just came out from maternity and deserves to rest. For that reason, you can help your wife by deciding to do all the chores….from laundry to washing the dishes.  

Doing this makes your first week and more to come as a dad easier to handle. 

Final remarks 

Being a dad isn’t supposed to be hectic. It’s supposed to be a celebrating period for bringing a new life into the world. With the above tips, your new journey as a dad won’t be bombarded by stress and nervousness.  

 Dan Chabert, new dad, fatherhood, guest post

About the Author:  

Dan Chabert – Writing from Copenhagen, Denmark, Dan is an entrepreneur, husband and ultramarathon distance runner. He spends most of his time co-managing home sites like That Sweet GiftBorncuteMotorful and Contractorculture, health sites such as RunnerclickNicer Shoes and The Gear Hunt. He has also been featured on runner blogs all over the world. 

Taking a Sabbatical Since Blogging is Problematical

My  blogging sabbatical over the past two weeks has been the longest I’ve gone from an actual blog post in years. You know what? I find it has helped me stress less and focus on other, more important things as a result.

sabbatical, family, parenting, toddler, fatherhood, stay-at-home dad

The constant feeling of “needing” to post something, anything, just for that satisfying feeling of creating a new post became overbearing. It got to the point where I would let this control my overall mood on any given day. When blogging becomes more of a weight on my shoulders, holding me back from truly enjoying life, it’s just not worth it. In retrospect, it took me too long to realize this.

Luckily, I have two wonderful girls, my wife and daughter, who helped put things in perspective. I was so intent on writing about a few experiences that I missed A LOT of other ones. While I find writing as a great outlet, it’s evident blogging is not always the best outlet. Journaling has been a better, shorter alternative for me though, and I journal every day now.

Daily gratitude is another thing I’m trying to incorporate as well. Gratitude is a simple act we can all do an benefit from. First thing when you wake up each day, just think of a something you’re grateful for. So now, when I wake up, I immediately feel grateful for the fact that I woke up. I’m here, alive, with a wonderful family whom I love and they love me back. Boom……gratitude.

Basically, I’m at a point where I feel too many things are going on and trying to squeeze them all in creates too much stress in my over-analyzing brain. The time freed up from not blogging has been nice, and therefore, I want to extend it indefinitely (i.e. take a blogging sabbatical).

As a I write this, the sweet little girl I’m a stay-at-home dad to, Avery, turns three years old in just a few more days. On November 15, to be exact.

Skin to skin with dad!
Skin to skin with dad!

 

I started this blog to capture our journey together, but found I was drifting farther and farther away from genuine content. Some was downright irrelevant to being a parent. I still stand by my pun posts though as puns are obviously part of being a dad.

While I hope to become certified to actually work with kids and adults in some way to help them create a happier, healthier life, blogging about it is no longer a huge a priority. Ensuring the happiness and health of my family and myself is of the highest priority, so everything else is going on the backburner.

I still keep rather active on social media, but, as if you haven’t got the drift by now, I’m done with blogging for an unspecified amount of time. I will always have a place in my heart for the blogging world, and will continue to support the bloggers I follow like my friend Gary from Skipah’s Realm. He puts out entertaining content about his life as a divorced father who has a beautiful daughter and a wonderful, supportive girlfriend.

I’ve already gone on longer than I planned, and I’m positive my message is clear; less blogging/stress, more living/happiness. Avery, happy birthday in a few days, I love you! Kelley, my beautiful wife, I love you too, thanks for all of your love and support. Our family is one awesome team (a silly family team as Avery calls us), and I don’t want to look back with regret on things I’ve missed. Now I’m off to spend genuine time with this girl who’s growing up too fast.

toddler, fatherhood, sabbatical, blogging