Tag Archives: funny

10 Things Babywearing Dads Shouldn’t Say to a Teething Baby in the Bathroom

Since my first post about 10 Things Baby Wearing Dads Should Never Say in a Public Restroom, I guess I haven’t learned my lesson. Although I don’t say the 10 things I listed then, I still catch myself talking to Avery in the public bathroom and saying things that might raise an eyebrow or two.

It’s been close to 4 months since that post, which means a lot has changed with our baby. One of the changes being her teeth coming in. As of now, she has her top and bottom two front teeth working their way out, and she lets us know about them multiple times a day. Any parent, I’m sure, knows……it’s “fun”. Please, since my sarcasm.

How do you not say something to those teeth?
How do you not say something to those teeth?

Her teething has been going on for a few weeks now, and we are still going to the store where I still have to urinate frequently due to my massive caffeine consumption. No matter how much I tell myself to just keep quite while wearing my daughter at the urinal, I can’t stand the silence, so I break it by making some sort of statement to the sweet girl hanging in front of me.

Wouldn’t you know, the moment I open my mouth and say something, I regret having said it right then and there. Obviously, others are sharing the public restroom, so why do I do this so much?

I can’t think of a good reason, but it happens, and once again I’ve collected 10 of the things I have actually said and want to share with other babywearing dads now. Ladies, I’m not trying to omit you, but I’m only speaking from my own experience, and I also have trouble visualizing how a women can use the restroom and wear her baby, so please forgive me.

  1. I can see it poking through.
  2. You look so different now.
  3. I know it hurts now, but you’ll feel better once it pushes through.
  4. Here, chew on this.
  5. Wow, that’s a lot of drool!
  6. I cold cloth would be really useful right now.
  7. It could take 2 years before you’re finished.
  8. Remember, it’s not nice to use those on mommy.
  9. I wish they’d all come at once so we could get this over with.
  10. Oh, I need to take a picture of that one!

Yeah, maybe I should print these out and laminate them on a card to study from now on. But, I probably won’t do that, because as our daughter continues to change, so will the things I say to her in and out of the bathroom.

I love my toof!
I love my toof!

Sometimes I wish I made this stuff up. That would save my face from turning red with embarrassment after saying one of the above and having someone quickly walk out of a stall and then the bathroom without washing their hands. Oh well, it happens (right?), and I’m able to look back and laugh now.

Avery still has plenty of teeth to come in, so who knows what I’ll say next?

Can you think of things you’ve said to your teething baby that wouldn’t sound right to another person in the restroom? Has this happened to you before?

In the Mind of a Crawling Baby: The Beginning

So close, if only there was a way to get closer…

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Ah Ha, got it!!

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Now that I can crawl, they give me this thing? What am I supposed to do with this?

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I think I’d rather work on my pull-ups…

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Okay, another day of crawling! I can go anywhere!!

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Ooooo, a springy thing!

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Guess Daddy didn’t want me playing with that. I’ll show him; I’ll climb on this box!! Grrrrr..

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Crap, that’s not how I planned it. #babyfail

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Oh, I see, now that I move more, they put me in a cage. Didn’t Mommy and Daddy want me to crawl?

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Seriously, Dad, you suck the fun out of crawling. I don’t care about your stupid Ninja Turtle fort.

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Yes, freedom! Hi dog, you should feel lucky they don’t put you in that fort/cage.

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Come to think of it, I’m starting to like this area. And Dad, your TMNT blanket isn’t that bad, sorry for the harsh words.

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Plus, in here, I can practice my pull-up and standing skills!

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I’m just not getting that full standing position. Today WILL be the day!

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Oh look, a hair.

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Lucky animals, living cage-free. Come here cat!!

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Fine then, don’t listen to me….I’ll pull your hair eventually!

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Nice, new territory to explore at G-Ma’s! Hope that photo-bombing dog keeps his distance.

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One thing that sucks about visiting other places is I don’t have my crib to sleep in. So, I’ll just do the opposite of sleep….

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Back in the cage…..starting to get annoyed with it again.

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Phew, guess my whining paid off, I love exploring the kitchen more. Maybe I can climb these…

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Oh, hi Dad. Maybe, I can’t climb those?

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I’ve been crawling for a while now, but I can’t find that darn spoon. Anyone know where it went?

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Ahhhh, found you, spoon!! Come here!

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Yay, Mommy’s home! I can count on her to bring me somewhere new. Like the bathroom where my pink ball is hiding!!

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MINE!! I love crawling to things!!

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Yes, Dad, I see the camera, here’s a pity smile with a squinty eye and my snaggletooth. PS – I’m going to walk soon and drive you even more crazy!

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See, what did I tell you? Here I go!!

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Crap, never mind. But next time, I’m gone!

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It was the bear’s fault, he was talking smack! Listen here bear, I’ll show you!!

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Done, he won’t mess with me again. Now, what do we have over here….

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C’mon, Dad, you could’ve let me go a little further! Ooooo, a light..

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Back in the baby jail again. I gotta find a way outta here. Yes, this is it, this is the time I make my escape!!

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Blast! Hand grip has failed me once more!

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Maybe I’ll have better grip over here….

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Well, it kinda worked, but more because Daddy brought me to the kitchen. Hey, nice shoe, can I eat it?

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What? How dare you say no! I’ll show you NO!

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See, I’ll move this rug however I want!

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Geez, I just got really tired. Must be the rug moving and climbing.

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Time for a torpedo-shaped nap…

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Wow, now they have a cage for me at dinner time? Ha, I found a way out!

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Didn’t get too far. I don’t want to be in this highchair….if you can’t tell.

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Ummm, Dad, something’s wrong with your foot.

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I’ll just crawl right over that thing and…

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…..hey, who straightened the rug?! I’ll fix that. All better!

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Last attempt for a while, I.Am.Going.To.Do.This

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Noooooooooooooooooooooo

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Weekend at G-Ma’s Part 2: The Best Cat Toy for Dogs and Babies

If you don’t remember or never read Weekend at G-Ma’s Part 1, we started our second day at G-Ma’s with this…

Waking up with Avery at G-Ma's

Sharing a room with your baby is rarely, if ever, an enjoyable experience, and Avery made sure to keep reminding us. We try to let her cry at night if we know her needs are met and it doesn’t go on for over 20 minutes, but things sure are different when you’re right there with the cries!

Avery slept surprisingly well through the booming fireworks, but still woke up for a feeding around 4 in the morning. Thankfully, Going Mom was there to save the day as usual. I have a feeling those boobs can be thought of as a blessing and a curse.

Once we were up, my mom/G-Ma made all of us coffee. Even though she has a Keurig brewer, Kelley and I have been working on reducing our use of plastics (k-cups can be hazardous to our health)so she ground coffee beans to make French Press for us. She also has one of those stainless steel reusable coffee pods and used that as well. Phew, I’m a coffee lover, but don’t want to contribute to growing waste from all of those pods!

As we enjoyed our coffee, we sat in the game room to let Avery play while we watched old home videos of me as a baby. My mom had her VHS cassettes transferred to DVD, and she had been waiting to watch them with us. Meanwhile, Avery must of had a rough night because she went for a little foam rolling session.

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G-Ma made sure to get a lot of playtime in with Avery now that she moves more, and I think Avery enjoyed having all of the attention. What do you think?

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With the home videos still playing, that’s actually all we watched all day, Avery tried to make a move for the open cabinets. She’s a quick and sneaky baby!

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But, G-Ma to the rescue! She found Uncle Preston’s recorder from elementary school and attempted to entertain Avery with her beautiful tunes. By beautiful tunes, I mean random noise, but Avery didn’t mind.

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Then it was Avery’s turn to make some noise.

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But she decided to just eat it instead…

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Once the recorder became a bore (see what I did there?), it was story time with G-Ma. The chose book was an old Barney and Friends book from Uncle Preston’s childhood.

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One minute later, and I think Avery was happy to be done with it. Phew, I don’t want to get stuck watching that show over and over again. Is it even on anymore?

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Our day mostly comprised home videos and G-Ma playing with Avery. I went for a run on Renfro Street, (literally) my old stomping ground, with nothing but coffee as fuel. After the run, I completed 31 burpees, push-ups, and squats like I’ve been doing every day since turning 30 and then ran to jump in Tim and Melissa’s pool. Ahhhh, refreshing!

When we all needed a break from baby, we found a battery operated cat toy to be the perfect solution. Turns out, this toy with a “mouse tail” that randomly revolved around was great entertainment for Avery and Abby as well as us watching.

Luckily, we capture it on video. Here’s my shortened version with the best parts that I uploaded on YouTube.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRcdkowW2N8&w=560&h=315]

Avery actually had a nap late in the day, and she fell asleep with Going Mom rather quickly at night. But, once again, she woke up several times crying. Kelley tried forever to console her with “the boob”, but even that didn’t work.

I fed her the one tiny bottle we brought along and that helped. I think she was finally exhausted enough to give in and sleep. But she still let out her random cries throughout the night. Ahhh, this two night stay has been exhausting for all of us!

We’re convinced it might have something to do with the fact that we weren’t feeding her solids while at G-Ma’s. At home, we’ve been sitting down and feeding her broccoli, carrots, squash, etc. right before bed, and those must work to keep her satisfied over night.

Shame on us, I think we’ll be more consistent with that now! The next day we enjoyed more coffee together and gathered our things to head home.

Ughhh, unpacking is definitely no fun, and we were at it non-stop most of the day upon returning. Such is the life as parents, huh?

Do you have a pet toy meant for a certain animal but another animal (or human) plays with it?

What’s worse, packing or unpacking? Please share!