Tag Archives: funny

A Random List of Puns 2

A month ago I shared my first Random List of Puns post. Although I didn’t see a flow of online traffic rushing to see my puns, at least I get to laugh at them again. Hey, there are plenty of worse sequels out there….

puns, sequel, bad movies, air bud, funny, humor, jokes

As always, I hope anyone reading these enjoy at least one pun. If you’re like me, going just seven days without a pun will make one weak. (eh, eh?)

  1. When a sheep is going in the wrong direction it makes a ewe turn.
  2. I just got back from the leech museum, it sucked.
  3. Flowers that wish to abstain from pollination should consider plant parenthood.
  4. The glue company failed quickly. The owner couldn’t adhere to his business plan and customers never became attached.
  5. The man who created a new hay baler retired early. He made a bundle.
  6. Most horses break up from lack of a stable relationship.
  7. I used to toss and turn in bed all night, but since I started listening to music, I’ve had a sound sleep.
  8. My friend said that feta is the best cheese, so I said he clearly didn’t know jack. Then he threw a lump of cheddar at me, not very mature. I asked if he curd go a-whey after that.
  9. Look out for triangles making bold claims, they’re usually wrong. It’ll be a clear sine if they are right.
  10. The latest craze is playing Scrabble on the road. At least that’s the word on the street.
  11. Cows don’t have feet because they lactose.
  12. She was interviewed to join an elite hair stylist group but never heard back. She didn’t make the cut, but kept a good attitude and brushed it off.
  13. My teacher kept bugging me to write a preposition, so I finally gave in.
  14. The baby bird had trouble learning to fly, so it decided to just wing it.
  15. I saw a novel about crime and asked the bookstore employee if it was any good. He said it has it’s prose and cons.
  16. A great way to help the environment is to cut down on deforestation.
  17. His candy cane collection must be worth a fortune. It’s all in mint condition.
  18. I bought a new book about infinity, it just goes on forever!
  19. When asked if he could help, the TV repairman nodded and said he just needs to get set to work.

Have a great weekend!

Toddler Smiles: Fake vs Real

At two and half years old, our toddler daughter is catching on to what it means when we say “smile.” We’ve only had the camera in her face since day one, so it only makes sense that her smiles are coming around.

toddler, smiling, cute, baby, parenting
Nope, not smiling!! What is this place?!

She’s come a long way in developing her smile since then, and even knows how to fake a smile. Like, for instance…

toddler, smile, smiles, cute, kids, parenting

Still cute, but definitely not a smile. We only hope she faked it on purpose!

Going through the recent pics we’ve taken, I have found several smiles that are fake and some that are genuine. Of course, after scrolling through, “Blog post!” sprung into my head. And now, here we are.

Let’s move on and see the fake vs real smiles from our toddler as of late.

smiles, toddler, cute, family

It’s not a super wide-grinned happiness smile, but this is in fact a genuine smile Going Mom caught on camera. A little unsure? Yeah, but real nonetheless.

 

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Another real one here. Helping Daddy cook in the kitchen is a surefire way to put a smile on her face.

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Fakers!! This is a result of her getting tired of me telling her to sit still and smile. I called her out on the fake smile which resulted in….

toddler, cute, eyes

Here boo-boos on her lip and face are from falling face first while riding her WOOM 1 Balance Bike. She wasn’t even moving, just sitting on it! She’s recovering fast and just has a little scab on her lip left now.

A photo posted by RC Liley (@going_dad) on


No question, wearing her new beach robe equals an obvious real, albeit cheesy, grin.

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This is one I’m not sure on. It has both real and fake qualities. Maybe she’s unsure as well?

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Real. Playtime in the backyard with Mommy always yields a happy girl.

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This one seems rather forced, but I’d like to say playtime with Daddy in the backyard also makes her happy. I’m playing the ignorance card if it’s fake and just going for real here.

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Okay, this is forced. Confirmed fake toddler smile here.

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Phew, I think Mommy joined Daddy in the fake smile from our toddler club. Still both beautiful girls though!

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And Mommy wins it back with an excited and real smile! She’s keeping her eyes on a spiderweb on our back porch roof which spooks her out.

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Subtle, but it’s a half real smile from a cute little girl. I don’t think we even asked her to smile for this one. Oh wait, we ALWAYS ask for a smile.

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This is a Happy-to-be-me-and-free genuine smile! Running around like a wild child shouting “We’re having fun!” Love this picture!

A photo posted by RC Liley (@going_dad) on

Fake. She was doing it just for the NuttZo. Can’t blame her though!

As you can see, she’s getting it down. Soon she’ll perfect the fake smile and we won’t be able to tell what’s real and what’s not. Then we’re in big trouble. As if her bottom lip weren’t enough!

Luckily, we’re seeing more real than fake smiles from our precious toddler, and hopefully it stays that way. One thing I know is that our whole family smiles when we’re together.

magnesium, deficiency, anxiety, salt bath

Does your kid have a fake quality they know how to use?

Can you spot it or does it fool you sometimes?

What To Do At The Zoo When You’re Two

Hi! Avery, here, long time no “talk”. Mommy and Daddy brought me to what they call a zoo for the first time ever, and it was full of awesome animals! Now that I’m back and an experienced zoo-goer, I wanted to share a few things to do at the zoo when you’re two.

You’ve probably seen many of the zoo animals in books and in the form of cute toys, but seeing the real deal is a completely different experience. Take, for example, turtles. Daddy has been surrounding me with turtle things my entire life, but seeing big ones I could sit on was turtley awesome!

zoo, fort worth, tortoise, turtle

I kept telling him to “Go”, but he just sat there. Weak……They may not be as exciting as a trip to the trampoline park, but sitting on a tortoise should be on every toddler’s pail list. Just make sure to never look at your mommy and/or daddy when as they shout “Look at the camera and smile!” for the thousandth time. And that’s just on the lackluster turtle.

His friends just stood off in the distance watching, guess they don’t like giving toddler rides. Or maybe they were arguing over who gets to be Michelangelo.

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Even turtle tantrums lack excitement. I could teach them a thing or two in that department.

Another thing you must do is pet a snake. Daddy wouldn’t shut-up about snakes, and after dragging us through all of the reptiles, he brought me to pet this snake that turned out to be pretty cool. I’d even do it again.

zoo, family, snake, reptile, kids, learning

Dad says we should get a pet snake, but Mom says no. Haven’t heard much after that…..

The zoo is filled with all kinds of birds throughout the area. The first ones I spotted were these crazy pink birds just standing in water. Some were even on one leg!

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If you can, get out of the stroller for a closer look at the birds who were all ready to flamingle. They were all squawking about something, probably the awesome curls in my hair.

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What you should NOT get out of the stroller for is a closer look at this guy…..a crocodile.

crocodile, reptile, dinosaur, zoo

They look much happier in the books and toys I have, but this guy was not up for playing. I was okay with keeping strapped in my stroller to look at the sleepy swamp dweller. Petting snakes is one thing, but I wouldn’t touch a crocodile with a 10 foot pool noodle.

What I do suggest petting are the animals in the petting zoo. As the name implies, it’s like a mini zoo within the zoo where you get to pet animals. Mommy held me as I pet the wet nose of a calf which felt a lot like our fat cat’s nose, only much bigger.. I’m just glad he wasn’t in a bad moo-d.

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Next up was a baby goat who was far from lively. No need for help to pet him, I just reached through the fence and felt his slightly coarse white hair. Yeah, when you’re two, you can be a little more independent.

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The petting zoo was a neat experience, but unless they add more animals, disco lights, or both, I could probably just skip this section next time.

Going to the zoo means a lot of walking, and even though we had a stroller, I wanted to prove that I can walk just fine on my own. But I have daddy trained pretty well and made sure he pushed the stroller just in case I was ready to climb back in. Which I did, a lot, and something I suggest all my peers do too. Just keep our parents in check.

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Mommy has him trained too. When I decided to climb in, we both celebrated our daddy training success by raising our arms high in the sky and making him take our picture.

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This is something no to be contained only for zoo visits, do it anywhere all the time!

Another zoo transportation option is on your parent’s shoulders. I made frequent use of taking a ride on daddy’s shoulders to get a better view of animals and help pick bugs out of his hair.

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As it turned out, there were no gross bugs wandering around on his head. This made me very happy!

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The giant cats in the background looked pretty cool, but they must’ve been sleepy since they were all lion around.

Much like those sleepy cats, daddy’s shoulders get uncomfortable after a while, so I exercised my other option; Mommy! We enjoyed watching the elephants together, they were my Mom’s favorite zoo animal.

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Did you know elephants like to play too? We saw a baby elephant trying to get it’s mommy to play with a giant log.

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It made me think of all the fun I have playing with my Mommy, which put me in deep thought mode for a minute.

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So, when it comes to transportation at the zoo, make use of your mommy and daddy when/if possible. I will, however, suggest you try your hardest to choose only one at a time. It seems every time we are all together, they try to take family selfies, which I’m not too fond of…..ever.

Family Selfie at Zoo

At one point, we stumbled on this well camouflaged animal that looked like a miniature bearded horse with horns. He just stood there, keeping still and looking like he didn’t even know how it goat there.

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One of my favorite parts of the entire visit to the zoo was the giant bird area. There were hundreds of birds flying around the area, and you could feed them with a stick covered in seeds. Daddy held me on his shoulders as I held a stick that daddy got for me (I’ve got the training down!) and fed the birds.

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Some birds even landed on the stick I was holding!

Avery Holding Bird at Zoo

If nothing else, definitely do this when you’re at the zoo! It’s even worth having your parents try to take MORE selfies.

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After the bird excitement, I started turning on my crazy toddler mode (i.e. naptime) which had Mommy and Daddy rushing through the zoo to get back to our car. Back at the front, we got to see a gorilla with her baby.

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I wonder if the gorilla mommy would let her kid come to the trampoline park with me sometime. They sure do look like they’d have fun jumping!

My parents said I can choose one souvenir to remember my first trip to the Fort Worth Zoo, so we made a quick stop at the shop conveniently located on the way out. I had to stay in the stroller as mommy and daddy waved toys in my face. I wasn’t sure if I was picking the toy or they were, but one thing’s for sure, I did NOT want the spider dad showed me.

gorilla, monkey, baby, zoo

My dad, I mean I, ended up choosing a lanky rubber snake despite Mommy’s attempts to get me to ask for a cute owl or bear hand puppet. In retrospect, I don’t know why I said I wanted the snake instead of a fuzzy animal puppet, but “Raps” (the name of my dad’s late pet milk snake) is proving pretty fun to play with.

No matter what you choose to do at the zoo when you’re two or ninety-two, just seeing all of the amazing animals will be the highlight of the trip. At the zoo, you get to see creatures found all over the world all in one big area. Pretty cool if you ask me. Grab your parents and find one near you. I can’t wait until I’m older and can appreciate all of the wild-life even more!