Tag Archives: funny

Books, Life, Parenting

Pee on the Floor: A Potty Training Story

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We’ve been off and on with our attempt at potty training for Avery, but as she gets closer to being two, I figure we should start trying a little more. We bought an appropriately named book, Potty, in hopes she’d read it / look at the pictures and instantly want to be like the baby in the story.

She really enjoys the book, but seems to enjoy flipping to the kitty and doggy more than inspecting the use of the potty. She’ll flip right to the pages with an animal and point them out immediately.

We’re proud and happy she’s knowledgeable about animals and all, but Going Mom and I are aiming for diaper changing freedom here! The other day, I finally decided to get serious about potty training our little girl by following The Easiest Potty Training Method that Modern Alternative Mama wrote about.

Basically, it’s just get them naked, don’t make going potty a big ordeal, have a potty available, don’t try and reward them (this could make them only go potty for a treat and not using the potty when their bodies show a sign of needing to go), and ignore them by NOT asking them 50 million times if they need to go. Basically, everything we’ve been guilty of doing thus far.

So, I set out her potty in the kitchen (I was cooking as usual), got her naked, and put her Potty book down for a little incentive/reading material.

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Right away, she gravitated to the toilet giving the impression she was ready to do just as the baby in the book and go potty! Just a minor course correction for her foot was all I offered, nothing about going pee or poo.

 

With her foot out and butt down, she took to reading. Yes, my plan was working!

 

As usual, she pointed out the kitty and doggy, but then continued on flipping the pages. All good signs, my anticipation grew by the second!

 

Uh oh, I think I spooked her a little. What? Is it soooo weird to sit around snapping photos of your naked toddler on the pot?

 

Don’t answer that, I just read the question out loud, and yes, yes it is weird. C’mon, you can’t tell me I’m the only parent out there that does this. Right? Right?

Whatever the case, she quickly recovered and continued sitting and flipping through the pages. Ooo, it was a good page, the part where he goes in the potty and proclaims “I did it!” This part gets her excited, which, subsequently, make us excited thinking how she gets it and it will start using potty from here on out.

 

Her face was beaming with pride as if she can and will go potty. I felt like this was it!

Well, even if it was, it wasn’t. Right after that page, she stood up from the toilet and sat right back down next to her pink plastic throne.

 

But at least it’s a good sign she still had the book, right? Wrong!

I’ll spare you the pictures (I actually did not take anymore), but what followed was a stream of pee right next to her potty. I quickly cleaned her legs and feet (yes, she made pee prints across the floor), and then the floor.

Trying extremely hard to remain calm, I caved and mentioned using the potty to go pee or poo so it doesn’t get on her legs or the floor. You could tell she was frustrated with not having a diaper to catch her refuse, so I thought an explanation would help. I even pointed out how the baby does it with the diaper off in her book.

I went back to doing chores around the house trying my best to ignore my nude toddler with a full bladder, but had to draw the line when she climbed the couch. She thought it was funny, but I only saw another potential clean-up.

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With Avery back down and running around, I carried on around the house only to have her come up and give me a hug while saying “Hi.” That’s her “I know I did something wrong but look how cute I am” sign. I’m not one to turn down a hug, so I hugged her back then went looking for wet spot. This time it was the carpet in the playroom.

So, potty training, even if it is “the easiest method”, is not so easy. More hugs and “Hi’s” followed by a pee puddle search party continued for a while before nap time that day. I haven’t tried again since, but know consistency is key. Maybe just a little closer to two years old, then we’ll start again.

Do you have any potty training fail or success stories to share?

Do you like having a small potty like we have or a seat made for the large toilet? I think I’d like to get a seat for her to go on the real potty soon.

Avery Talk

How NOT To Hold A Toddler

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There are many ways on how to hold a toddler, and they shouldn’t be that hard. But, as my Uncle Preston will show you, there are ways on how NOT to hold a toddler as well.

Even before I was a walking, talking blabbering, and crazy toddler, my Uncle P just didn’t quite “get it” when it came to holding me as baby.

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Another example…..

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Okay, maybe when sitting down it’s not soooo bad, but still, he’s a little awkward about the whole thing. I’m your niece, your blood relative, just hold me normal! Seriously, as I have aged, I’ve been pushed to hold and chew on things from the stress he gives me when being held.

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Think I like chewing on purple rubber wands that flash lights? Well yes, yes I do, but that’s besides the point!

Recently, when we spent the night at G-Ma’s for the 4th of July (and Mommy and Daddy just wouldn’t go to sleep!), I had the luxury torture of Uncle P’s awkward embrace.

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Please, sense my sarcasm. I tried to hold it in, but my true feelings quickly appeared with my facial expression.

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When holding a baby, maybe you can get away with this arm under butt facing out hold, but not now. Actually, how about never? Capeesh? Mark this down, toddler-holding-newbs, don’t do this!

From there, you might think lifting your curled arm up more into a cradle position is better. Cue the Jeopardy buzzer because YOU’RE WRONG!

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This is partly my fault for being misleading with a slight, albeit forced, smile. But really I just liked grabbing his watch. So, again, put this holding position on your DO NOT DO list. Unless it’s a cat, that would be funny.

And whatever you try, NEVER try holding a toddler like they are a baby that needs to burp.

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At this stage in life, we are perfectly capable of burping for ourselves, and farting too. I tend to enjoy a good fart and laugh at them quite often. As for diapers, please continue changing and cleaning me for now. Thank you.

Lucky for me, Daddy couldn’t stand to watch as Uncle Preston practiced his crappy holding skills on me, so he stepped in for a little toddler-holding tutorial.

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Notice my head staring in fear at Uncle Preston’s hands. If you’re ever wondering if you’re doing it right, look for signs like this to know that you are NOT!

After the instruction, I was passed back to my far from confident Uncle for another try.

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Fail! Obviously, I was ready to get out of his arms as he glanced at Daddy telling him he’s still doing it wrong. He basically just changed arms and used the same position as the first one I showed! I’m smart, nothing gets by me!

The ways not to hold a toddler are numerous, but these are some of the most common ones I’ve had to endure. Hopefully, to those of you reading this How Not To tutorial, you’ll find a better way before picking up a toddler near you.

Oh, and it’s probably best to make sure you actually know the toddler, otherwise, things could be worse than just an annoyed kid in your arms.

Do you have any family members who just can’t quite “grasp” how to hold your baby/toddler/kid/hopefully not teenager?

Parenting

10 Tips to Get Your Toddler to Eat….Maybe

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Feeding Avery has never an easy task, and I assume that’s how it goes for any toddler. Unless it involves some of my healthy homemade bread or anything with NuttZo, feeding her is never a simple ordeal.

Each day brings a new attitude, so we’re never sure what we’ll get when we lift her out of the crib. As the day progresses, we usually go through all of the moods listed on a mood ring, some that aren’t, and by the end, we’re all on high alert for the next change. If you are or were a parent to a toddler (or baby or any kid probably), you’re probably nodding in agreement to at least part of this. If not, what’s your secret?

When first feeding her solids, we went the Baby-Led Weaning route and although difficult at first still, she’s actually really good at grabbing her food and feeding herself. But when it comes to things that need utensils, that’s still a work in progress.

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She does try, but most times it goes on the floor, her lap, our lap, on the cat (seriously), or just all over the highchair tray.

There is still plenty of time to go in this wishy-washy eating stage, but so far, we have 10 tried and true tips to get our little girl to eat with us. Don’t get me wrong, some days not even these will do the trick, but 8.45 times out of 10, one of them will work.

  1. Classic airplane – Yeah, it still works. She doesn’t even know what a plane is yet, but just making loud sounds and moving the spoon all around (tip – don’t do this with soup) takes their attention off the food and sometimes they’ll just open their mouth. Use that time to get a bite in!
  2. Let them hold the lid – If you have a container like a Tupperware that their food is in, rinse off the lid and let them hold it while feeding. Tell them they need to keep it safe since it covers the food and maybe they’ll buy into it. Or just have something to play with as they allow the fork/spoon to feed them.
  3. Watch out for the flies! – Avery is quite the fly catcher and loves clapping her hands in the air any time I mention the pests. This is usually good for one or two bites, but if I say she needs to finish her food before the flies get it, sometimes she gives in and that’s a win.
  4. Give them their own utensil – Preferably a spoon since a fork can get a little pokey (Going Mom and I both know), and a knife because, toddler. Having their own utensil is empowering, and they love having “control”. Or, again, something to play with. But this does allow you to at least try and teach them how to use a utensil. It worked for us before…. 

     

  5. Don’t offer, just do – Yes, this could be bad and result in spilled food as they quickly turn their head and shake their arms in refusal, but it can also work. I have found that when asked if she wants to take a bite, she usually shakes her head, but if we just bring the food to her mouth in silence, she’s more apt to take the bite.
  6. Read a book – This has been our go-to option during dinner every night lately. Kelley offers her food, she shakes her head and turns away, I open a Dr. Suess book to read a few lines and the magic gate (i.e. her mouth) opens. It has worked every time so far. Not sure how or why, but give it a try. Hey, I rhymed!
  7. Use sturdy produce to produce results – Something like an orange or small winter squash that can withstand toddler abuse (to a degree) keeps their attention off the task at hand, eating, and on the cool food in front of them. As they explore the food, take each chance you get to feed them. Plus, you can teach them about the food they are playing with and/or throwing on the floor.
  8. Wait for a yawn – Okay, so this one is not highly recommended, but I admit to doing it before and it works. Use it as a last resort and only on very soft food or liquids so the don’t choke. As they yawn, just sneak that spoon in there!
  9. Screen time – Again, not the best option as we have yet to really introduce her to watching TV, but she loves looking at the screen on our computer or phone. On those days you just don’t feel like dealing with a fussy eater, pull out your phone, turn on the TV, or bust out the computer and play something kid-friendly on YouTube or the like. I feel guilty for admitting it, but this works and it’s just so hard to quit!
  10. Make good food – Duh, make sure the food you’re giving them tastes good. I am by no means saying give them sugary and/or fatty processed food, but don’t expect them to take to that kim-chi right away. My wife has told me simple is better when I cook her dinner, and that approach works well for both of my girls. That, and adding goat cheese seems to work. Please, just keep it healthy too. It’s vital to how your kid grows!

Hopefully you’ll find at least one of these helpful. You can combine a few to increase your food-to-mouth chances too. Let them have their own spoon with an orange to play with as you read a book out loud. Yeah, it doesn’t make for a glamorous meal, but it can be fun and hey, they eat! Sometimes….

Have you developed any tricks to get your little one to eat?

Which one of the above tips will you try first?