Silent Sunday + #MySundayPhoto – 11.30.14
Tag Archives: happy
How My Daughter is Saving My Life
She is 3 months shy of being 1 year old, and my daughter is already a hero. Although she may not be aware of how and why she’s saving daddy’s life, she is doing it nonetheless.
Over the years, I have found ways to become increasingly stressed about everything. Always having something to do, thinking ahead and worrying about what’s to come, getting mad at minute details, etc. Guilty with a capital “G”!
Going Mom has given the best support a husband could ever ask for over the years, and she’s what kept me from going berserk! Now I have her and Avery as a trusty sidekick.
I recently wrote about our long journey to having Avery and how a big part of our problems was a result of what stress had done to me physically. It sucked, I was miserable, and so was everyone around me. I never considered that stressing so much could be such a powerful and dangerous force, but now I know stress is a proven killer.
This is beyond scary! Something that many of us consider to be purely mental, can actually lead to our demise. Armed with this “stressful” knowledge, I am working on making changes to remove myself from the dangerous mindset. Becoming a stay-at-home dad is one major change and I wrote several times on how that has helped reduce my stress tremendously.
Make no mistake, I still have a ways to go before I stop stressing over things, just ask my wife! A little stress is natural and even good for us, but I still worry too much about washing dishes, food, exercise, always having a plan, and never living in the moment. I once lived in a carefree world, and now I’m striving to go back there.
With the help of my beautiful wife and daughter, I’m slowly (read, slowly) lowering stress levels and re-learning how to live “in the moment.” Since most of my time is now spent with Avery, she has been helping me in many ways; all unknown to her. Yes, babies are hard work and create plenty of stress themselves, but that’s a different kind of stress, not one that can kill!
One way Avery helps is by simply being so adorable. Every time I look at her or at the thousands (literally) of pictures of her, my heart fills with joy and I feel instant happiness set in. How can you not be happy with that smile?
I’m adamant about exercise, and thanks to our awesome baby, she’s happy to join along in her jumper. There’s nothing like finishing a set of very taxing squats and turning around to see this girl so excited about life.
But, probably the biggest factor in Avery saving my life by reducing stress is with play. She still has a ways to go before she can really start to play, but she’s active enough for a little rolling around and tickle time! Avery “plays” a major role by keeping me in check throughout the day.
When I’m standing over the sink washing dishes and she’s crawling all over the floor around me, I make it a point to stop and get down to crawl with her. The instant I’m on the ground and I see her smiling back at me, all of my worries disappear.
As she grows, Avery’s playfulness will grow with her, and I will be right there to play along in the dirt, swing in a swing, jump on a trampoline and pick her up when she falls. All while caring less about the materialistic things and more about emotions and family.
Of course, I still make it a point to clean those dishes and do other chores, but the fact is, I’m having less of a “must do it now” mentality and learning to enjoy things more often.
I know my mom and wife are thinking “What!?” because I admittedly still get worked up over small things. Again, I have a long way to go, but it’s a start, and I feel that as Avery grows and becomes even more playful, the bad stress will diminish. The stress that replaces it will be more of a beautiful “I have a child and I’m raising her” kind of stress, and I’m happy to take it on!
Do you feel yourself getting over-stressed? Any ways of coping with it?
Has your child helped or hurt your stress levels? I know, I know, kids are stressing, but you know what I mean!
One Thing I Miss About My Old Job after 6 Months of Being a Stay-At-Home Dad
It doesn’t seem like half a year has already passed since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad, but here I am, stay-at-home daddying (it’s a word) with our precious 8 1/2 month old daughter. I have to keep repeating “precious” to myself as she’s in teething mode and wants to make sure everyone knows.
Her screams get progressively louder as if in competition with herself and she refuses to be outdone. How long do they say this takes? Around two years? Damn.
But, I remember saying goodbye to my office job and hello to my new office a.k.a. home and how much better I felt. Needless to say, I’ll gladly to listen to screams over getting on another conference call to discuss the “how’s” and “who’s” of whatever was going on at the time.
I’ll stop there since I could easily get myself “worked” (ha ha ha) up and blab on about my despise of having a desk job. We aren’t made to sit so long and be so sedentary as we……oh, crap….see, I’m still doing it!
Anyway, life as a stay-at-home dad started off slow with a baby who could only eat, poop, pee, cry, and sometimes smile. Luckily, babies experience rapid growth and Avery is surprising us with new skills/abilities almost every week!
Now at almost 9 months old, she’s a very mobile crawler showing signs that walking isn’t too far away.
I know everyone says that’s when I start to go crazy because I’ll always have to watch her, but I’m still excited. Before I know it, we’ll be able to wrestle, play outside, and go on (short) hikes.
Going Mom has to remind not to get ahead of myself and try things too soon. What? Is it that bad when I get on the ground and push our baby in an attempt to wrestle now?
Oh….okay then, I’ll ease up.
I know I have a more meaningful role now than I did when employed, and am ever so grateful we are able to make this work for our small family.
I’m extremely grateful for my lovely wife who goes in to work each day and handles various situations way better than I ever did/could. Then, when the workday is done, she comes home and helps deal with whatever is going on with Avery. Thank, Kelley, you are appreciated more than words can describe!
Speaking of, although I’m happier and more proud as a stay-at-home dad than my old job, I do miss one thing; my wife. Yep, we worked for the same company, in the same building, and even in the same office.
I was the only person in the building with a desk converted to standing and I could look over and see her desk not far away. We would talk to each other through the company’s internal messaging service and visit each other’s desks frequently.
Very rarely would we miss a day of going on a walk together around the nearby trails before having our lunch. There were times when we would give each other notes or share a laugh at an inside joke no one else understood.
My wife is my best friend, and now I don’t get to see her as much as when we worked together. I miss her, I miss our walks, and I miss being able to walk over to her for no better reason than to just say “hi.”
The good thing is that our relationship has grown even stronger since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad. Gone are the days of me stressing over work and letting it drag me down at home; now the time I do see her means more and we both recognize it. Sure we still have are disagreements like any couple, but they’re (usually) over fast and we get on with life.
So, in the end, it’s a worthy trade-off we are both happy with and it seems to be working for our family of three. I still go on a daily walk, but with Avery, and again with both of my girls if time is permitting.
Yes, I’m still adjusting to the stay-at-home life, but after 6 months, I feel good about our decision and am ready to continue down this path of daily obstacles and adventure.
Do you or would you ever consider working in the same office as your spouse?
Have you been both an employee and a stay-at-home parent? Which one are you now and what do you prefer?