Tag Archives: humor

A Baby’s New Year’s Resolution: Master the Kettlebell

This was originally posted on New Year’s Day last year, the beginning of 2015, but wanted to repost to show how much smaller our little girl was. She’s obviously a master at working out now, and only getting stronger! Enjoy the post and Happy 2016 now!

Hi babies, Avery here, and I’m here to tell you Happy New Year!! Oh, and to reveal one of my biggest resolutions for 2015. Can you guess what it is?

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I’m staring at it right now.

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Yep, this here is what you call a kettlebell. Simply put, it’s a cast-iron ball with one big handle on top. Kettlebells vary in weight from a wimpy 2 pounds to well over 100lbs!

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This one is only 45 pounds, and I figure since I saw daddy pick it up and carry it around so easily, I’d like to do the same. So, this New Year, I’m making one of my resolutions to master the kettlebell! Starting today, I’m beginning my journey to increasing strength and endurance with kettlebell training!

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*Uuugghhhh* Okay, just need to get a better grip first…

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Yak! My foot slipped! Oh yeah, and my grip is all wrong, I need to hold it from the other side. Here we go…

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Fine, I’m letting my ego get the best of me. Just because daddy walks around with the weight in one hand doesn’t mean I have to…..yet. For now, I’ll stick with using both hands. Let me just regain my footing here.

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Annnnnddddd go! *Grrrrrrr*

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Holy diaper explosions, is this thing bolted to the rug?! What is wrong with you, hands?!

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I think I need to focus more on my leg power and thrusting in the hips.

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Whoa, talk about diaper explosions! I think I had a New Year’s firework just go off!

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Nope, I passed the smell test, so I’m good for another go at this kettle…..no, dumbbell. Ha ha ha! Oh yeah, they have those too, crap, I’m already turning corny like daddy! I better work on my strength just to stand up to bullies picking on my corniness. Thanks, dad…….NOT!

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Ah ha, I moved it! Take that, heavy ball with a handle!

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Guess that answers my question…..it’s not bolted to the rug. Phew, that was an exhausting workout, but I think it’s safe to say progress has been made. Avery – 1 : Kettlebell – 0

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And that, my baby peers, is how to start the New Year off right; by attacking your resolutions in full force right off the bat! Don’t put it off, you’ll only find more and more excuses as the days pass. Plus, if you never conquer your goals, mommy and daddy will continue doing things like this to you…

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Not my proudest moment, obviously. Anyway, I’m off to work on my other resolution; getting these darn colorful balls in the right colored hole! They aren’t heavy like a kettlebell, but for some reason they keep throwing me off with their 3 different colors.

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Go on now, go enjoy 2015, I’m sure you’ll see me again soon!

Happy 2015!!

The Love-Hate Relationship: A Toddler’s View

Hi there! It’s me, Avery, I’m taking over Daddy’s blog for a quick explanation about love-hate relationships. Don’t worry, he won’t mind, I practically have him wrapped around my finger…..or at least on my shirt. See?

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I’ve had a certain stuffed bear around me my entire life, and no matter how many times we fight, we always seem to make up. Well, now there’s a new animal in the house, Lamby, and he’s become my new favorite stuffed buddy. Even though Bear can make me feel like dancing at times…..

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…..he usually just bums me out.

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Finally, I decided I must tell him about Lamby and how he is no longer my best stuffed bud. I kept pushing it off, but finally, during breakfast, there was an awkward silence.

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I looked over to initiate the conversation with my old plush pal.

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He seemed to sense my uneasiness and simply refused to respond or even look at me. Eeek, that awkward feeling got even awkward….er?

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Knowing that I must get closure, I was the bigger only person and walked over to him so we could talk, pretty blue eye-to-beady glass black eye.

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Then, all of the fights we had, the times he kept getting in my way when sleeping, and how Mommy and Daddy obviously didn’t like him since they just tossed him at me built up inside. I couldn’t help what happened next, my toddler rage took over and wrung his neck!

Just leave me alone, Lamby and I are happy without you!!
Just leave me alone, Lamby and I are happy without you!!

I didn’t know I had so much anger inside of me, but I immediately felt bad. I think I even heard poor Bear sniffle a little. Or maybe he has a hidden squeaker…oooo, that would be cool. No, getting sidetracked here, I simply felt the guilt sink in and only grow stronger. We both needed a big bear hug!

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I’m so sorry, Bear, I promise, we can still be friends.

And now it’s right back where we started. I still love Lamby more, but Bear thinks we’re all good again. This love-hate relationship stuff is hard, and is truly exhausting….ugh.

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Well, whatever the case, I don’t like these confusing relationships one bit. I know I love Mommy and I love Daddy, and apparently I love to hate Bear. For now he can stick around, but if ever goes near Lamby, well, here’s how I feel about that, and no, I’m not pointing at the red “R”.

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What Toddler Yoga Really Looks Like

Perform a Google search for Toddler Yoga and along with the glut of mommy & baby/toddler yoga info sites, you’ll find images of cooperative toddlers in yoga poses with their mom.

I’m not sure I could even get into that pose, much less hold it for more than half a second, but here this kid is doing it with apparent ease. They even have classes at yoga studios specifically for babies/toddlers and parents. I’ve seen it around before, but still hard to imagine things actually going as well as they portray on their site.

Look up the definition of yoga and, well, never mind, I’ll do it for you…

Yoga Definition

After observing my wife attempt to have a yoga session at home with Avery joining in, Toddler Yoga brings to mind another word.

Oxymoron Defined

Come to think of it, cooperative toddler fits into this definition too. Not always, but c’mon, you know it’s true.

With the end of my squat every day routine, I mentioned that I’ll be bringing some of my workouts inside. With the help of fitness DVDs, I will be able to workout while simultaneously keeping Avery entertained and maybe even joining in.

She still tends to walk in front of me or try to climb my back during certain exercises that could result in injury (for the both of us), but when it’s just us two, she’s usually pretty good. Maybe because she’s around me all day, but Avery is always more clingy to her Mommy, which makes it very hard for my wife to do the same workout videos.

The other day, feeling the need to relax and calm down, Kelley chose to do the yoga video we have. Great choice when relaxing is the goal according to the definition, but what about that extra variable….our toddler.

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Yep, there she is, sitting on Mommy in the Corpse Pose. Probably not a pic you’ll see on any yoga studio’s website trying to promote their Toddler Yoga class. Avery did get off to strike her own pose like Mommy for a bit.

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Using Kelley’s sweatshirt as her personal yoga mat, I’d say she was doing pretty good. At least they both look relaxed. But then…..

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….. as evidenced by the mischievous smirk on her face, her cling-o-meter was reading low and something had to be done fast!

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How’s this, Mom, is this in your way? Not that it mattered, under Mommy was NOT clingy enough.

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There we go, back to the Corpse Pose; perfect opportunity to sit on Mommy again. Hi!!

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I was beginning to wonder if Kelley was still in the Corpse Pose, or actually suffering from lack of oxygen. Obviously, I was extremely concerned since I still took pictures. No worries, I had Avery check her breath for me.

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Phew, she was still breathing!

Yep, she's good, Dad.
Yep, she’s good, Dad.

I missed several shots of Avery doing the Downward Dog Pose, but I’m sure I’ll get the chance again. She actually did that one pretty well, so I’ll be sure to share once we capture it on camera.

Have you ever tried doing something relaxing with your little tot(s)? Success or failure?