Tag Archives: humor

How NOT To Hold A Toddler

07/17/2015 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

There are many ways on how to hold a toddler, and they shouldn’t be that hard. But, as my Uncle Preston will show you, there are ways on how NOT to hold a toddler as well.

Even before I was a walking, ~~talking~~ blabbering, and crazy toddler, my Uncle P just didn’t quite “get it” when it came to holding me as baby.

Another example…..

Okay, maybe when sitting down it’s not soooo bad, but still, he’s a little awkward about the whole thing. I’m your niece, your blood relative, just hold me normal! Seriously, as I have aged, I’ve been pushed to hold and chew on things from the stress he gives me when being held.

Think I like chewing on purple rubber wands that flash lights? Well yes, yes I do, but that’s besides the point!

Recently, when we spent the night at G-Ma’s for the 4th of July (and Mommy and Daddy just wouldn’t go to sleep!), I had the ~~luxury~~ torture of Uncle P’s awkward embrace.

Please, sense my sarcasm. I tried to hold it in, but my true feelings quickly appeared with my facial expression.

When holding a baby, maybe you can get away with this arm under butt facing out hold, but not now. Actually, how about never? Capeesh? Mark this down, toddler-holding-newbs, don’t do this!

From there, you might think lifting your curled arm up more into a cradle position is better. Cue the Jeopardy buzzer because YOU’RE WRONG!

This is partly my fault for being misleading with a slight, albeit forced, smile. But really I just liked grabbing his watch. So, again, put this holding position on your DO NOT DO list. Unless it’s a cat, that would be funny.

And whatever you try, NEVER try holding a toddler like they are a baby that needs to burp.

At this stage in life, we are perfectly capable of burping for ourselves, and farting too. I tend to enjoy a good fart and laugh at them quite often. As for diapers, please continue changing and cleaning me for now. Thank you.

Lucky for me, Daddy couldn’t stand to watch as Uncle Preston practiced his crappy holding skills on me, so he stepped in for a little toddler-holding tutorial.

Notice my head staring in fear at Uncle Preston’s hands. If you’re ever wondering if you’re doing it right, look for signs like this to know that you are NOT!

After the instruction, I was passed back to my far from confident Uncle for another try.

Fail! Obviously, I was ready to get out of his arms as he glanced at Daddy telling him he’s still doing it wrong. He basically just changed arms and used the same position as the first one I showed! I’m smart, nothing gets by me!

The ways not to hold a toddler are numerous, but these are some of the most common ones I’ve had to endure. Hopefully, to those of you reading this How Not To tutorial, you’ll find a better way before picking up a toddler near you.

Oh, and it’s probably best to make sure you actually know the toddler, otherwise, things could be worse than just an annoyed kid in your arms.

Do you have any family members who just can’t quite “grasp” how to hold your baby/toddler/kid/hopefully not teenager?

Parenting

10 Tips to Get Your Toddler to Eat….Maybe

07/11/2015 R.C. Liley 8 Comments

Feeding Avery has never an easy task, and I assume that’s how it goes for any toddler. Unless it involves some of my healthy homemade bread or anything with NuttZo, feeding her is never a simple ordeal.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by RC Liley (@going_dad)

Each day brings a new attitude, so we’re never sure what we’ll get when we lift her out of the crib. As the day progresses, we usually go through all of the moods listed on a mood ring, some that aren’t, and by the end, we’re all on high alert for the next change. If you are or were a parent to a toddler (or baby or any kid probably), you’re probably nodding in agreement to at least part of this. If not, what’s your secret?

When first feeding her solids, we went the Baby-Led Weaning route and although difficult ~~at first~~ still, she’s actually really good at grabbing her food and feeding herself. But when it comes to things that need utensils, that’s still a work in progress.

She does try, but most times it goes on the floor, her lap, our lap, on the cat (seriously), or just all over the highchair tray.

There is still plenty of time to go in this wishy-washy eating stage, but so far, we have 10 tried and true tips to get our little girl to eat with us. Don’t get me wrong, some days not even these will do the trick, but 8.45 times out of 10, one of them will work.

Classic airplane – Yeah, it still works. She doesn’t even know what a plane is yet, but just making loud sounds and moving the spoon all around (tip – don’t do this with soup) takes their attention off the food and sometimes they’ll just open their mouth. Use that time to get a bite in!
Let them hold the lid – If you have a container like a Tupperware that their food is in, rinse off the lid and let them hold it while feeding. Tell them they need to keep it safe since it covers the food and maybe they’ll buy into it. Or just have something to play with as they allow the fork/spoon to feed them.
Watch out for the flies! – Avery is quite the fly catcher and loves clapping her hands in the air any time I mention the pests. This is usually good for one or two bites, but if I say she needs to finish her food before the flies get it, sometimes she gives in and that’s a win.
Give them their own utensil – Preferably a spoon since a fork can get a little pokey (Going Mom and I both know), and a knife because, toddler. Having their own utensil is empowering, and they love having “control”. Or, again, something to play with. But this does allow you to at least try and teach them how to use a utensil. It worked for us before….

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by RC Liley (@going_dad)
Don’t offer, just do – Yes, this could be bad and result in spilled food as they quickly turn their head and shake their arms in refusal, but it can also work. I have found that when asked if she wants to take a bite, she usually shakes her head, but if we just bring the food to her mouth in silence, she’s more apt to take the bite.
Read a book – This has been our go-to option during dinner every night lately. Kelley offers her food, she shakes her head and turns away, I open a Dr. Suess book to read a few lines and the magic gate (i.e. her mouth) opens. It has worked every time so far. Not sure how or why, but give it a try. Hey, I rhymed!
Use sturdy produce to produce results – Something like an orange or small winter squash that can withstand toddler abuse (to a degree) keeps their attention off the task at hand, eating, and on the cool food in front of them. As they explore the food, take each chance you get to feed them. Plus, you can teach them about the food they are playing with and/or throwing on the floor.
Wait for a yawn – Okay, so this one is not highly recommended, but I admit to doing it before and it works. Use it as a last resort and only on very soft food or liquids so the don’t choke. As they yawn, just sneak that spoon in there!
Screen time – Again, not the best option as we have yet to really introduce her to watching TV, but she loves looking at the screen on our computer or phone. On those days you just don’t feel like dealing with a fussy eater, pull out your phone, turn on the TV, or bust out the computer and play something kid-friendly on YouTube or the like. I feel guilty for admitting it, but this works and it’s just so hard to quit!
Make good food – Duh, make sure the food you’re giving them tastes good. I am by no means saying give them sugary and/or fatty processed food, but don’t expect them to take to that kim-chi right away. My wife has told me simple is better when I cook her dinner, and that approach works well for both of my girls. That, and adding goat cheese seems to work. Please, just keep it healthy too. It’s vital to how your kid grows!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by RC Liley (@going_dad)

Hopefully you’ll find at least one of these helpful. You can combine a few to increase your food-to-mouth chances too. Let them have their own spoon with an orange to play with as you read a book out loud. Yeah, it doesn’t make for a glamorous meal, but it can be fun and hey, they eat! Sometimes….

Have you developed any tricks to get your little one to eat?

Which one of the above tips will you try first?

Life, Parenting

The Parent-Toddler Communication Barrier

07/09/2015 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

“Avery.” I said in a stern, but not scolding voice, “Please pick up your duck from the kitchen and put him in your basket or I’ll take him away.” Never thought that would be a sentence I’d have to say.

Avery’s resulting facial expression said it all….

After repeating myself just to give her another chance and waiting for 5 minutes (felt like an hour!), I had to take the duck and put it on top of the bookshelf.

You’ll notice the bag of blocks already there from a similar standoff we incurred earlier in the day.

And before that, we received a package at the door so I let her play with the box. I told her as long as she keeps off the couch and doesn’t tear the things off the box, she can play with it. I should’ve known better….

She also handed me a piece of tape and cardboard strip she tore off. She’s lucky she’s so cute!

This, along with 10,000,000,000 other standoff-type occurrences have become part of the daily routine. Going Mom and I try to maintain composure and do quite well most of the time, but, well, c’mon, patience can only be tested for so long.

Parents, I am sure you know exactly what I’m talking about here. And to think we only have our one, my heart goes out to you with multiple! Your patience must be like that of iron! Or just really good. 🙂

I assume the communication barrier parents face with their toddlers is a commonality we all must experience to turn our ~~hair gray at a faster than normal rate~~ fully appreciate parenthood. It may not be needed (or necessary), but I took it upon myself to create a visual representation of the barrier with a quick video. By simply taking a ball and asking Avery to catch it, you see the barrier in full effect.

What do you think? Did I capture the parent-toddler communication barrier accurately?

It does help to keep calm and politely ask your little one to do as told. Then, once (if) they follow through, be sure to praise them and let them know how good they are. You just might be rewarded with super cuteness!