Remember my staph butt issue from last week? Yeah, it’s getting better, butt (ha ha, never gets old!) it still hurts and has another 2 weeks of healing to go.

Or at least that’s how long I have to take antibiotics. What sucks, though, is that even after I’m done with the antibiotics, I still technically have staph. I guess it’s not all that uncommon, but I’m a registered carrier of the infectious bacteria. And, as confirmed by the doctor I saw last Tuesday, it’s Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA).

Not a big surprise as I’ve had it before when on vacation in Colorado back in 2011. I tried my damnedest to make the most of the trip and went out with Kelley to be as active as possible, but what I thought was just a painful nose pimple blew up into a massive MRSA infection that brought us to the local ER. Apparently if I waited longer it could’ve got into my brain and blah blah….it was bad.

Basically, I will always have the nasty and stubborn-to-treat version of staph inside me. I guess my nose is where it’s usually hanging out, so I better watch my ass and lay off the picking!

Speaking of ass, I can almost sit comfortably again, but still find myself shifting every 5 minutes. Luckily, I stand all day, I even use the island as my computer work area, so it’s only an issue at night. I’m thinking I won’t be doing any half-marathons on my indoor rower any time soon.

Hopefully this doesn’t mean Avery is a potential carrier, but we’ll keep on the lookout just to be safe.

If you read through this far, I’m sure you know more about the staph in my nose and butt than you’d ever care to, so how about a few puns to lighten things up? I could use a good laugh myself.

If you’ve been a reader for a while or just know me, you know I’m a fan of puns. Corny or not, I love’em, so here’s a few to enjoy or loathe as you see fit.

• A jumper cable walks into a bar. He gets a lot of dirty looks and says,”Calm down, I’m not looking to start anything.”
• I recently got a job at the office for national statistics, but I’m only there to make up the numbers.
• I met a guy who lost all of his toes and he instantly annoyed me. Guess I’m lack-toes intolerant.
• Did you hear about the kidnapping?!?!?! …. He was really tired.
• Everyone tells me I’m a skeptic, but I don’t believe a word they say.
• My wife said she’s leaving me because of my poker addiction. I think she’s bluffing.
• I thought I could trust my acupuncturist, but then he stabbed me in the back.

Enjoy your Friday! I promise my next post will be better with a big focus on Avery.

Are you a carrier of staph?

Do you know if being a carrier means your kids are too?

How did you like the puns?