lasts Archives - Going Dad

You have approximately 940 weeks from when your baby is born to when they (usually) head off to college. It’s true, Google’s calculator says so…

940 might seem like a lot, but how many have you already used with your kid or kids? And as they grow older, they will be spending less time with you and more time at school and with friends. Before you know it, the weeks will become a blur and you’ll have less than 100 left to cherish. Then, you’re helping them pack to leave and saying your goodbyes.

I know this isn’t the case for every family, but for many, it is. Avery is only 9.5 months, and I get emotional just thinking of that day she leaves Going Mom and me. Although we’ve been parents for less than a year, time truly is flying by, and the little squirmy baby that easily fit in our hands, is now a bigger squirmy baby we need to firmly hold with both arms!

Lately, as I’m sitting with Avery in her dark nursery and feeding her a bottle for nap time, I have been thinking more and more of how little time we really have. Getting her to actually fall asleep while holding her has become a rare event, and I usually resort to just laying her in her crib to where she’ll move all over the place until finally giving in to sleep.

But, it doesn’t seem that long ago when she’d fall asleep on the bottle, and I could hold her on my chest and just rock with her before laying her in her crib….still sleeping. Now my wife and I both look back on those days and tell each other if we are ever so lucky to have that chance again. Kelley is able to experience this more because of that damn comforting boob, but it’s still a rare occurrence.

This quickly fading part of our parenthood makes me think how excited we get about every “first” we experience with Avery, but we don’t always consider there will be a last. Even as she’s sitting on the floor crying for no reason, there will be a last time we come over to pick her up and hold her.

Soon, crawling will be a thing of the past and we won’t have to stoop so low to pick her up. And then *gasp* she’ll grow up to where picking her up and holding her is simply unacceptable!

It’s sad to think, but there will be a last time you pick up your baby.

As this thought entered my mind, many more “lasts” soon followed. I remember my delight when I fed Avery her first bottle, but now I’m thinking of how one day, I’ll be feeding her the bottle one last time. It’s bittersweet, really, because obviously that means she’s moving on to bigger and better things with food and I can’t wait to show her the wonderful assortment of fresh produce to enjoy, but still sad to think about.

Even things like diaper changes; there will a last change of diapers before she wears big girl undies. Using a swaddle for the first and last time has already happened, and I can barely remember those days. As a new parent who still has a lot of firsts to enjoy, I know there will be many lasts to endure as well.

Eventually, I will have to stop wearing her in our baby carrier which is a huge part of our lives. Every day, I make it a point to wear her and go for a walk. Luckily, the Onya can support up to 75 pounds, but I imagine I won’t be wearing her at that point! And blowing raspberries? Sadly, this is already fading fast.

At least not every first will mean there’s a daunting last in the future. When she walk for the first time, I expect she’ll be walking for her entire life. When she gives the first real hug, I can only hope she’ll give us hugs for eternity. But there are also many firsts we have yet to encounter that will be accompanied by lasts.

One day, after we are through with bottles, we’ll give her a sippy cup for the first time, but then, we’ll get rid of it as she upgrades to bigger and better drink ware. Same for plates and bowls; the colorful cartoon-decorated items will eventually be used for the last time when she is ready for bigger things.

She will develop a deep love for that special toy and we’ll get used to seeing her bring it with her everywhere (update: that toy is Lamby as of January 2016), but there will be a last day she wants to carry it with her and it will be put up and forgotten.

This is not because I have negative view about everything, rather, it allows (or at least helps) me to enjoy every day for what it is and to not take it for granted. Because once today is over, it becomes a thing of the past and will only live as a memory. Would you prefer worrying over petty things every day and letting them disturb your thoughts, or does enjoying the life around you and shrugging off the small stuff sound better?

I choose the latter, and need to remind myself of this every day as I am what some call a “worry wart”. As I spend my time with Avery, watching her learn and grow, I want to make sure to enjoy her now, just how she is in the present. Because, while she has many firsts yet to come, she also has many lasts.

Do you have grown children that have already had many “lasts”?

Any thoughts or stories to share of your own?

It hurts right about.....EVERYWHERE!! — It hurts right about…..EVERYWHERE!!

All weekend long, Avery spent most of the time in a cranky, no good for nothing mood, and poor Going Mom didn’t get to see much of a happy baby. I’ve come to accept the fussiness from Avery since she is my “co-worker” every day of the week, but it bothers me when she is so cantankerous on the weekends.

I always hope Avery will be in a great mood all weekend long while Mommy is home so Kelley can see only Happy Avery, but it rarely happens to work out that way. I can’t explain how appreciative I am of Kelley for taking over most of the baby duty on the weekend, and actually, I really need to work on doing more since I’m guilty of taking advantage. Sorry, dear, I’ll do better! 🙂

After reading through a list of symptoms for a certain stage of teething, we quickly confirmed Avery was in a full blown session of sprouting molars. Biting, excessive pooping, very moody, hands in mouth, refusing food, etc. You name it, Avery was doing it.

Most of the signs started showing on Friday, and lasted until, well, they’re still here actually. Damn. But besides the agony of hearing your baby in agony, something happened late Sunday night/early Monday morning; we had a family bonding experience.

It was the usual scene in our house, we were in the living room and I was eating (I typically eat 2 big meals a day, and the 2nd one is the biggest and late at night) the second part of my meal and Kelley was asleep on the couch when Avery’s cries emanated through the monitor. Sometimes they’re really quick and only happen when she is shifting in her crib, this wasn’t one of those times.

Sitting up and screaming, my stubborn self tried to tell Kelley to just let it pass, but she’s too caring of a mother and quickly went to Avery’s aid to nurse her back to sleep. Or so she thought. Instead, Avery nursed some but then wouldn’t have anymore and instead more screaming ensued.

I was still sitting down with the last of my food when I heard the screaming start back up, and continued for several minutes. Finally, I put what I had back in the fridge and went to see how I could help. Before I made it to the nursery, Kelley appeared in the living room with our poor little Avery crying in pain.

We sat in the living room as Kelley held Avery and tried to figure out what to do. Turn on the TV? No, too stimulating. Give her homeopathic teething pills? No, too ineffective at this point. Pet the cat? Ohhh, yes, that worked…….for a minute. Our attempts were futile so we continued sitting there holding Avery and hoping she’d finally calm down and go back to sleep.

Hoping only gets you far. After taking turns holding her, I suggested we just lay on the rug in the middle of our living room and hope she falls asleep with us or we’ll all join in on the crying fest. We grabbed pillows from the couch and laid down next to each other with Avery to see what she would do.

More crying followed, interspersed with yawns and putting her hands in her mouth. Going Mom was taking a beating from Avery’s flailing limbs, so I took over holding our restless baby. Still crying and squirming in my arms, we were at our wit’s end on what else to do, so I just laid flat on my back and had Avery resting on her back on my stomach. I mean, why not, right?

Well, the crying stopped, but every half second she’d turn her head to the left or right and swing her arms around. I felt like it was a lost cause, but then Avery grew silent and her arms hung to the side and head stayed still. She was quiet and almost asleep!

Kelley and I exchanged glances in disbelief as it happened so suddenly, but we didn’t want to risk testing her. Part of me felt extremely guilty after my dear wife spent so long trying to comfort Avery and after she became so exhausted, she winds up falling asleep on me. But then again, maybe my wife didn’t really want a 20+ pound baby lying on her chest on the flat, hard ground.

My lower back was in pain and my feet couldn’t stretch all the way out, but there was no way I was messing this up! She was sliding a little, so I slowly turned Avery over on her stomach while still on my chest and secured her as best as I could. Kelley and I, laying side by side on our living room floor, said “I love you” to each other and fell asleep.

Okay, I didn’t sleep much as I had to keep readjusting Avery and my urge to pee was increasing by the minute. Finally, after about an hour and a half, I really had to pee and didn’t see Avery lasting much longer on my chest anyway. Using my Turkish Get-up skills, I stood up with Avery still asleep and laid her in her crib. She hardly budged, poor girl was worn out!

Our bed welcomed Kelley and me as we transferred from the floor, but as uncomfortable as it was, I will always look back on that night and smile. We rarely get to hold Avery to our chest when sleeping like we did almost daily as a newborn, so this rare occasion was a treat. And to think, I didn’t even want my wife going in there in the first place! Thank you, Kelley, for not listening to me! 🙂

This post is part of the Brilliant Blog Posts Link-up on the Honest Mum blog. Make sure to head on over and see all of the featured Brilliant Blog Posts from bloggers all over!

Do you have any sweet memorable moments during a stressful time?