Tag Archives: life

11 Memories from my 11th Month Since Going Dad

10/15/2014 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

Wow, this time last year I was still a working man with a pregnant wife and the both of us very anxious to meet our baby still in the womb! Now we’re one month away from a full year!

Becoming a parent is essentially the same as a jumping in a time machine set on high speed for the future. In retrospect, the moment Avery was born, Kelley and I virtually hopped into Doc’s DeLorean from “Back to the Future” after it was fully fueled with high quality trash.

It’s been great watching our little girl grow and become so mobile, but she still has yet to take her first steps. Something I was so sure would happen this past month, but she’s still a little timid about doing it on her own. But it’s coming, I just know it!

Here we are at 11 months and the memories keep piling up. But to stick with tradition, I’m only listing 11 for you, Avery, and I just like all previous monthly memory posts, I hope you enjoy reading these with your Mom and Dad (that’s me) some day. Keep on growing, dear, just not so damn fast!

1. I brought you to KidMania where, as you might guess, is a place for kids to play and use their energy. There was a 3 and under section where you obviously were confined, but still had a great time! You definitely seemed a bit puzzled in the new environment at first though.

2. Mommy and I bought you a swing after seeing how much you enjoyed it at a neighbor’s house. It was great seeing the giant smile on your face as we took turns pushing you. Swinging = Happy Avery!

3. Aaaannnnddd not swinging = upset Avery!

4. We forged through the ridiculous Dallas traffic to go to a nice park, Klyde Warren Park, which had an unexpected splash pad you couldn’t use. Luckily, there was a dry area you seemed to enjoy just as well.

5. You were in your play area with teddy keeping you company as I ran around the house, and you seemed to wear yourself out since the next thing I knew, you were asleep. Poor teddy..

6. Mommy had to leave us for 3 days on a business trip and we really missed having her with us. But, I finally started the brewing process for a Belgian Saison that, at the time I’m writing this, still has a few weeks of fermentation left before it’s ready. I couldn’t of done it without your help though.

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7. Also, while Mommy was away, I took a shot at making cultured breast milk using the kefir grains we have to make homemade kefir. End result? You absolutely hated it and didn’t trust me to give you a bottle for a while after. I then got smart and mixed a little cultured milk in a bottle of regular milk to which you didn’t mind. Phew, can’t waste Mommy’s milk!

The last kefir grains I will ever put in a breast milk bottle.

8. And of course, while Mommy was away, we had full reign of the TV and obviously we had none other than the classic 1980’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on most of the time.

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9. We have been working to get you to walk on your own for the past 2 months and you still have not taken a step without assistance. But, you’ve done everything else up to that point, including standing unassisted.

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So still no walking at 11 months…..how about before you’re 1 year old? Seems promising..

10. Mommy and I have also been trying to get you to say “Mama” or “Dada” to no avail; all you say is “Uh oh” along with cute (and not so cute) baby coos and screams. We can’t tell which one you’ll say first, and at this point, I’d be happy to hear you say either word….or maybe take a neutral stance and say “Poop”. Right now, I can only tell you pooped when you start hanging on my legs when we’re in the kitchen.

The view at my feet for most of the day.

11. Your mobility keeps getting better every day and it’s really fun seeing you smile when I drop on the ground to play with you. I can only imagine the fun we’ll have when you finally start to walk. Only time knows when, dear….

I can’t believe my next post will be for her 1 year mark! 12 memories should be easy to come by, and I’m really hoping that walking is one of them. Going Mom has been hard at work planning her 1 year party while all I am in charge with is making the food. A healthy (obviously) cake for Avery to smash as well as snacks and sweets (healthy again) for our guests.

How much planning did you do or plan on doing for your kids’ 1st birthday?

Any tips on things not to do? One of our friends put their daughter’s cake in front of her with a lit candle and she grabbed at it right away. She found out very fast that fire hurts! So, I don’t think we’ll give Avery a lit candle for her 1st.

Life, Parenting

How My Daughter is Saving My Life

08/14/2014 R.C. Liley 3 Comments

She is 3 months shy of being 1 year old, and my daughter is already a hero. Although she may not be aware of how and why she’s saving daddy’s life, she is doing it nonetheless.

Over the years, I have found ways to become increasingly stressed about everything. Always having something to do, thinking ahead and worrying about what’s to come, getting mad at minute details, etc. Guilty with a capital “G”!

Going Mom has given the best support a husband could ever ask for over the years, and she’s what kept me from going berserk! Now I have her and Avery as a trusty sidekick.

I recently wrote about our long journey to having Avery and how a big part of our problems was a result of what stress had done to me physically. It sucked, I was miserable, and so was everyone around me. I never considered that stressing so much could be such a powerful and dangerous force, but now I know stress is a proven killer.

This is beyond scary! Something that many of us consider to be purely mental, can actually lead to our demise. Armed with this “stressful” knowledge, I am working on making changes to remove myself from the dangerous mindset. Becoming a stay-at-home dad is one major change and I wrote several times on how that has helped reduce my stress tremendously.

Make no mistake, I still have a ways to go before I stop stressing over things, just ask my wife! A little stress is natural and even good for us, but I still worry too much about washing dishes, food, exercise, always having a plan, and never living in the moment. I once lived in a carefree world, and now I’m striving to go back there.

With the help of my beautiful wife and daughter, I’m slowly (read, slowly) lowering stress levels and re-learning how to live “in the moment.” Since most of my time is now spent with Avery, she has been helping me in many ways; all unknown to her. Yes, babies are hard work and create plenty of stress themselves, but that’s a different kind of stress, not one that can kill!

One way Avery helps is by simply being so adorable. Every time I look at her or at the thousands (literally) of pictures of her, my heart fills with joy and I feel instant happiness set in. How can you not be happy with that smile?

I’m adamant about exercise, and thanks to our awesome baby, she’s happy to join along in her jumper. There’s nothing like finishing a set of very taxing squats and turning around to see this girl so excited about life.

But, probably the biggest factor in Avery saving my life by reducing stress is with play. She still has a ways to go before she can really start to play, but she’s active enough for a little rolling around and tickle time! Avery “plays” a major role by keeping me in check throughout the day.

When I’m standing over the sink washing dishes and she’s crawling all over the floor around me, I make it a point to stop and get down to crawl with her. The instant I’m on the ground and I see her smiling back at me, all of my worries disappear.

Daughter vs Dishes....hmm, easy choice!! — Daughter vs Dishes….hmm, easy choice!!

As she grows, Avery’s playfulness will grow with her, and I will be right there to play along in the dirt, swing in a swing, jump on a trampoline and pick her up when she falls. All while caring less about the materialistic things and more about emotions and family.

Of course, I still make it a point to clean those dishes and do other chores, but the fact is, I’m having less of a “must do it now” mentality and learning to enjoy things more often.

I know my mom and wife are thinking “What!?” because I admittedly still get worked up over small things. Again, I have a long way to go, but it’s a start, and I feel that as Avery grows and becomes even more playful, the bad stress will diminish. The stress that replaces it will be more of a beautiful “I have a child and I’m raising her” kind of stress, and I’m happy to take it on!

Do you feel yourself getting over-stressed? Any ways of coping with it?

Has your child helped or hurt your stress levels? I know, I know, kids are stressing, but you know what I mean!

Goals, Parenting

Goal Check-in as a SAHD and Seven More

05/31/2014 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

It was only 4 months ago when left the work world and officially became a stay-at-home dad! It feels like longer but also like time has flown by, if that makes any sense.

So far, our new life is much better than before, and I’m enjoying it more each day. Avery didn’t do much the first few months, but she’s beginning to be quite lively and responsive. I have no clue what her coos and pterodactyl-like screeches mean, but they keep me company way more than her silent newborn days!

The day I started this life, I posted seven goals as a new stay-at-home dad and today I’m going to see how I’ve done so far and list seven more goals.

My previous 7 goals:

Figure out a good routine. This was a major concern for me as a new parent and SAHD, but it ended up going pretty well. I was able to enjoy Avery taking a 3 hour morning nap most days and then another one in the early afternoon. Her eating from the bottle was hit or miss (yo-yo dieting), but I’ve been consistently taking her on walks each day and enjoying quality time with her.
Keep a (somewhat) clean house. I don’t do as thorough of a job as Going Mom, but I vacuum daily and the house is never a pure mess….yet.
Cook good food. I’ve been able to make a few dishes for Kelley that aren’t just thrown together and she usually approves. Sometimes I’ll add too much or too little of something, but she’s always grateful and gives me “constructive” feedback. I enjoy being able to have a healthy meal for Kelley to bring to work as well as breakfast and dinner, and so far so good.
Post to the blog at least twice a week. I’ve been really good at posting daily so far, so I’m happy to go above and beyond this goal!
Take a lot of pictures and video. Ha, “a lot” is one way to describe it, but more like “take up half of my hard drive” is a better description. How do you NOT take pictures of your beautiful baby? Goal met x infinity!
Find time to work out during the day. I worried about this one, a lot, but with her 3 hour naps I could easily fit in a workout for the first several weeks. Then, she started taking longer to get tired, so now I take her with me to workout. Sometimes it’s inside with a video (my last preference), outside in the garage for lifting, or running in the B.O.B. All in all, she usually does great and seems to enjoy watching her daddy jump around and look goofy. Phew!
Make our own snacks. Doing good here. I made several batches of goat cheese crackers for Kelley, including a special Mother’s Day batch, and have been making plenty of different variations of my protein granola.

So far so good with those 7 goals, and will keep working on them as I continue my at-home dad life. I have no regrets on making the decision to stay at home and raise our beautiful daughter and I am just a happier person overall. Even better is that since I’m happier, Going Mom is happier and we have a healthier life as a result. Happiness rules!

As time goes by, things change, my goals included, so I have 7 new ones to share and strive to attain…

1. Teach Avery about healthy eating and how it is enjoyable. Now that she’s starting to eat solids with our baby-led weaning approach, I am standing strong on only offering vegetables for now. As she becomes more comfortable with carrots and broccoli, we’ll offer fruits like banana and mango. For now, the next step might be a less sweet fruit like avocado; this will be a fun one to clean up after!

2. Have better time management. I’ve been getting seriously into blogging and find that I have the “need” to create daily posts. I know the world won’t end if I skip a day or two, but it’s how my mind works. My priority should be and always is my family, I just need to remind myself of this sometimes. I enjoy writing posts and sharing stories/thoughts, but I just have to get better at when I do this.

She did great for my first time instructing our neighbors on a workout

If blogging wasn’t enough, I’m now starting to have a group meet in my neighborhood where I will instruct workout sessions. I’m not certified and don’t charge for it, but this is something I want to do when Avery gets older. I love our neighborhood and enjoy helping those who care, so hopefully I can manage this as well.

3. Stress Less!! This one obviously ties into time management, but it’s something I do way too often. When I was working, my stress affected me so bad it took a toll on my health and was one of the reasons we struggled to have a baby. Needless to say, stress is a dangerous thing that affects brain, body, and those around you.

This picture means more than words can describe and my stress made us wait too long!

I feel it creep up on my when I’m trying to take on too much like write a post, prepare meals, clean bottles from the day, workout, and clean house all at once. You’d think as someone who stays at home this is easy, but I find a way to make it difficult. Either way, I need to reign in on the stress and kick it to the curb!

4. Say “I love you” at least once a day. To Avery, to my wife, and to family, these three words are more powerful than you can imagine. I hope I am doing good on this one already, but I’m making it a goal to ensure I don’t let up. This is something I think everyone should heed; go say “I love you.” to your family and watch the smile on their faces.

5. Keep “going” with my blog. I couldn’t help myself, sorry. Yes, my blog has become a part of me and as a proud dad, I want to let the world know. I’ve been fortunate to connect with many other dad bloggers and I’m even taking part of a couple of campaigns for Father’s Day (coming soon).

I want to upgrade to a self-hosted blog soon, but need to make sure I have the financial means to do so. I love the community I am a part of and thank everyone reading for doing so!

6. Make healthy cupcakes. Sounds weird, but this task has been assigned to me by my wife. I need to create a recipe to make delicious and healthy cupcakes by the time Avery’s first birthday rolls around.

Nope, won't make these again.... — Nope, won’t make these again….

I refuse to offer cake made from refined white flour and am on a mission to impress! Cupcakes are a lot easier to manage and then Avery won’t have to smash a whole cake. Any thoughts/recipes you care to share?

7. Have a positive influence on my daughter. The importance of the father-daughter relationship is tremendously important, and I am adamant about being the best dad to Avery. By showing how a real man treats women with respect and always offering positive words, I will help set Avery to have great self-esteem and confidence. I hope it also helps in her choice of boys when that time comes. But lets not get too far ahead…

Playtime with dad is more important than you'd think!! — Playtime with dad is more important than you’d think!!

There we go, I have my work cut out for me, but that’s okay since I enjoy a good challenge. Right now, I think the hardest one will be perfecting a healthy cupcake recipe. What some think as healthy, may not be the same view I have as I can get pretty picky. Actually, I feel bad about using any flour because it’s obviously somewhat processed to get to that form. But, I will overcome this hurdle and find something!

Avery puts a smile on my face every day and I can’t say enough how much I am loving our way of life now! I love my wife and our daughter, and I hope to continue to put my best into this blog and most importantly, being the best dad and husband I can be!

How do you think I’m doing so far?

Do you set goals for yourself?

Any good cupcake recipes you care to share?