Tag Archives: love

Why I’m Not Giving Flowers for Mother’s Day, or Ever

In all honesty, I have been against giving flowers for years now. Going Mom and my mom both know this and therefore never expect to receive the colorful bee food from me.

Plus, I enjoy trying to be creative and making something personal/sentimental to give. Sometimes it’s just a note with my crappy handwriting (okay, a lot of times) and nothing more, or I’ll have a small gift I made or purchased to go along.

My reasoning was simple; they just die. Why pay for something that was living and then cut and put in a vase to look pretty for a few days before it dies? Don’t say it’s the thought that counts or for symbolism, there are better thoughts and symbols out there!

Now, I have given flowers in the past, but they are ones that I picked and put together myself. Did they look good? Not really, but it was the thought that mattered. See what I did there?

Anyway, now I have a bigger and better reason not to give flowers for any occasion; most come to us from Columbia under harsh labor conditions.

Yeah, most flower bouquets are put together by workers being treated poorly in Columbia just so some guy in desperate need of a gift for his demanding wife/mom/grandma/male lover? can quickly pick one up and avoid confrontation! That’s just an example, I know some people actually enjoy getting and giving flowers, but I was going for dramatic effect here.

I just read this article depicting a Colombian woman’s struggle to provide for her family by working under harsh conditions in the cut-flower industry. I never would’ve put the words “harsh” and “flower industry” together unless talking about those darn thorny roses, but sure enough, it’s a serious and sad story.

Here are a few parts of the article that stood out to me:

…..pulling a minimum-wage salary of $333 per month. Years of difficult and dangerous work have wracked Lorena’s body, leaving debilitating injuries in their wake.

The National Retail Federation estimates that this Mother’s Day weekend, Americans will purchase more than $2 billion worth of flowers. Almost 80 percent of those flowers come from Colombia…..

Work in the cut-flower industry is notoriously dangerous. …To protect their investments, companies pump highly toxic pesticides and fungicides into the greenhouses where flowers are grown. Twenty percent of these chemicals are so toxic and carcinogenic that they’re prohibited in North America and Europe. …. workers often suffer from rashes, headaches, impaired vision, and skin discoloration. Women, who make up 70 percent of the cut flower workforce in Colombia, report substantially higher instances of birth defects and miscarriages.

“Women are chosen to work in the flower industry because they have agile hands—they can go through the motions smoother and more efficiently,” Fuentes explained. “Their hands aren’t as heavy, and so they can manage the flowers and arrange the bouquets faster.”

But in exchange, they’re often taken advantage of. “Women are regularly paid less than men for the same jobs,” Fuentes said….. Companies commonly require female employees to take pregnancy tests in order to weed out workers who might be eligible for maternity leave. A 2008 International Labor Rights Forum report suggested that more than half of all women in the industry have suffered from sexual harassment.

“There are so many mothers in this industry who have to work all day and can’t take care of their children,” Alejandra told me, her young daughter cradled on her lap. “Kids go to school and get out at 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and their parents don’t come home until 1 in the morning.

I could keep going, but at this point, it’s best to just read the article.

I understand not every bouquet of flowers in America comes from these poor conditions, but then I go back to my original reason; they just die.

Really, unless you absolutely just love flowers sitting in a vase for a few days before they turn their bright heads down and wilt, I’d be mad someone didn’t put more thought into a gift. It doesn’t take much, just a simple handmade token to show you care will mean more than flowers to most of us.

I’m a sentimental guy, Going Mom knows since I can never let go of anything, and I love even the tiniest of notes she leaves for me. The point being, it’s more personal.

So, for your loved ones, you should know what they really like and work off that. Write a poem about something they like or how much you love them. Use Pinterest as a guide for handmade, inexpensive gift to give.

If you’re a parent, your kid can be the one “giving” the gift and you get off without guilt! Even a picture and a card should mean more to your loved ones than flowers.

Am I getting my point across? What, you got it a few paragraphs ago? Sorry, I just want to really hammer it in. I’m not saying anyone should feel guilty for getting flowers because of how most of them get here, but maybe try something different and see how the mothers in your life like it.

It would be weird if I didn’t post a picture of the love of my life, so I’ll leave you with this to enjoy; both loves of my life!

DSC_0218 (Medium)

Do you avoid giving flowers as gifts?

What do you prefer to give/get?

What are your thoughts on the harsh working conditions in the cut-flower industry? Sounds like an oxymoron, huh?

Why Avery is the Top Baby Model

Does that come off as boisterous? Well, maybe it is…..a little, but if you’re a parent, you already know the answer; because your baby is always the top model!

Furthermore, I’d say us parents think of our offspring as the best for anything! If I’m wrong, I hope your little one gets self confidence somewhere.

This past weekend, Going Mom and I snapped a few a lot hundreds of photos of Avery and they were the best baby pictures we’ve ever seen! I took a few of her sitting in her Mamas & Papas chair as she gave a softer version of the Blue Steel pose from Zoolander. If you haven’t seen the movie, watch it!

DSC_0230

Then Kelley shot a few pics while Avery rolled around on our bed. I swear, she furnished smiles that would melt the hearts of even the scroogiest of scrooges. But that’s a daily thing…

DSC_0237

She was even good and tilting her head and giving that “I want to play” kind of smile. Maybe not knowingly, but she is the best at everything afterall!

DSC_0232

And I mean c’mon, what baby knows to just look straight out the window and be still so mommy can take a picture? What? Oh, that many? Well, I’m pretty positive Avery is a better window looker outer than those other babies.

DSC_0240

So maybe I’m biased, but what parent isn’t? I’d feel downright ashamed if I’m like, “Wow, those people have the cutest baby, I wish our baby was that cute.” And I hope Going Mom would slap me across the face if I were to say something like that.

Luckily, I will never say that, so my face can rest assured it won’t be slapped…….at least not for that reason! By now you get my point, most parents think the world of their own baby just like they should, and by giving them this love, I feel it helps build a healthy self-esteem.

Kelley and I tell Avery how much we love her and how beautiful she is multiple times a day, and I hope you do the same for your little one(s). If you haven’t, go right now, and with a smile on your face!

I’m lucky enough to have two beautiful ladies under my roof and I need to make sure I tell them both how wonderful they are and how much I love them.

DSC_0223

Admittedly, I did try to submit a few of these pictures to an online photo contest of sorts where agents can see them, but never went through with it. Not because I don’t have confidence in our beautiful baby, not at all, but because the site was trying to charge just to submit photos!

I get they are “helping” Avery be seen by agents and whatnot, but I’m not trying to get her in the modeling business, I just wanted to show my beautiful baby to the world and maybe enter her in a little contest. So, I cancelled the submission once I saw the signs to enter credit card info.

I asked Avery how she would like to have an early career in the modeling industry, but I don’t think she was too interested…

DSC_0260

Yeah, we’ll stick with learning how to crawl, walk, eat, sleep better, and playtime at this age, nothing more.

Have you ever considered entering your child in a photo contest?

Or have you entered your child before? Any awards?

Do you feel like your baby is the best at everything and everyone else’s is subpar or at least just not as fantastic as yours?

Why I Wear My Baby: A Dad’s Perspective

Before Avery, my daughter, was born, I knew I wanted to wear her in a carrier. But, I was uninformed about the actual benefits of babywearing, I just thought it would be a cool way to get some extra exercise! Do you know anyone who tries to turn anything into some form of exercise? Well, meet one more….me!

With zero research, my wife and I bought a Baby Bjorn and thought we were all set. Once Avery was born, I was wearing her in the Bjorn at two weeks as we went on and did chores around the house.

Like most new parents these days, I proudly posted pictures of myself wearing Avery on Facebook and Twitter.

DSC_0347 (Medium)DSC_0347 (Medium)

In one of my posts, I mentioned how I had sore shoulders after a long walk and another dad commented saying to ditch the Bjorn and get an Ergo. Then several other dads chimed in giving full support of getting a better carrier. Thus, my baby carrier research began.

For days, I read and re-read fact sheets on baby carriers and reviews by other parents. I was surprised at how detailed and passionate so many parents are about babywearing. I finally concluded that I had been doing it all wrong; letting my baby’s legs dangle and even having her face outward! According to the International Hip Dysplasia Institute, dangling legs put your baby at a high risk of developing hip dysplasia.

Needless to say, I had to find a high quality carrier that would allow both Avery and me to be safe and comfortable wherever our adventures take us. Trying to figure out which one would be best was difficult; you’d think I was buying a new car! Then, I came across a review on Onya Baby and was drawn to their carriers. I know the other dads mentioned Ergo, but I had to make sure I didn’t rush into things like I did with the Bjorn.

I e-mailed Onya about possibly allowing me the opportunity to try one of their carriers and write a review on my blog. I received an upbeat response from Diana, who, after we spoke on the phone, kindly agreed to send their Outback model. Oh my gosh, I felt like I was getting a new car! I have since posted my review on our Onya Baby Outback carrier and am happily using it almost every day.

Ready to go on our first hike.
Ready to go on our first hike.

I say almost because Ergobaby recently sent me the Ventus carrier from their performance line to review and I use that as well. So far, Going Mom and I both enjoy it and it’s a good option for store trips. Having use several carriers now, I realize that there are many great choices out there and the best choice will vary depending on each individuals’ preferences.

DSC_0943

DSC_1036

Through all of this, I learned a great deal on the benefits of babywearing for both parents and their babies. For instance, if your baby simply hates “tummy time”, babywearing is said to eliminate the need for this exercise. Avery was part of the “tummy time” hate club, but she eventually learned to roll over without much time spent on her stomach. Was it from being worn in a baby carrier? I’m not sure, but I bet it definitely had a big role in her success.

Roll over success!
Roll over success!

Babywearing offers a myriad of benefits over alternatives like strollers and car seats; here are several just to list a few:

  • It aids the baby in developing balance, motor skills, and mobility in general.
  • Babies who are worn are less likely to cry as much during the day and even at night!
  • Parents and their babies have a stronger bond when worn or carried and it will last all the way into adulthood.
  • Carried babies are happier and healthier.
  • Babies get a better view of the world around them when worn. Poor babies in strollers or car seats only know a world of knees and shins!
  • Babywearing parents also enjoy the freedom of both hands and to move around safely with baby happily close to you. Plus, my original reason for wanting to wear my baby, it really is great exercise!

I found these benefits of babywearing and much more on Boba’s website, Mark’s Daily Apple, and Onya’s blog. All sites are packed with useful information to answer all of your babywearing questions along with cites and sources to back it up.

The benefits listed above and on the websites add up to why I wear my baby, and can be explained in one word; love. Yes, I wear my baby because I love her more than I ever knew possible.

Skin to skin with dad!
Skin to skin with dad!

The feeling that overwhelmed me as I watched Avery come into the world for the first time was a feeling of unconditional love. I only felt it one other time as I watched Going Mom walk down the aisle in her wedding dress. The air escapes from my lungs and I feel my heart stop in awe as happiness flows through my body; that’s true love!

As a dad, I will never be able to duplicate what my wife shares maternally with Avery, so I count on babywearing to get as close as I can. I wear my baby to help her grow into a happy, strong, confident, and loving daughter.

Heading out for a walk.
Heading out for a walk.

I am proud to have her close to me as I shop at the store, go on long walks, mow the lawn, or just move around the house. Everything we do and see, I tell what’s going on and I know she’s absorbing all of it in her constantly growing brain.

So, when asked why I wear my baby, I could pull out a list and go over the slew of reasons, but I will just say it’s because I love her. And, according to The Beatles, “All You Need Is Love”! I’m a proud dad to the most adorable girl and happy husband to the most amazing wife, and love is what makes us a happy, healthy family. Okay, and good food and exercise!

I want to express my deep gratitude to Onya Baby for giving me the chance to see what a real baby carrier is like which has turned me into a major advocate for babywearing!

Are you a fellow babywearer?

If so, what are your reasons?

If not, would you like to?