Parenting is hard even at the best of times. But it’s doubly difficult when you have to do it all by yourself. But the good news is, you’re not alone. In fact, 27% of children under the age of 18 in the US are living with a single parent. And the vast majority of them are doing a great job under tough circumstances.
But it’s understandable that you might be feeling a little overwhelmed or stressed about the whole thing. It’s a massive job to raise a child. You are the guiding light in their life, helping them to learn about the world, forge connections with others, and set themselves up for a successful future. You also need to create a sense of stability in their lives despite their unconventional family circumstances. And all of this while navigating your own professional and personal commitments. Without a spouse to help you out, it can sometimes feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day.
To help you with your parenting journey, here are five great pieces of advice for single parents.
Ask for help
Even though you may be the only parent in your child’s life, there are other people around you who can help share some of the burden. There is no shame in asking for help, and there’s a good chance your loved ones will be more than happy to chip in. Perhaps your parents or siblings will help you out with the childcare from time to time. Or if you have close friends you trust, you could ask them to alleviate the burden occasionally. Having a close support network around you is crucial, and it will make your life significantly easier. If you don’t have anyone you could ask, there are other options. Groups such as Embrace Grace exist to provide a sense of community and support for struggling mothers. Learn how to help single mothers here.
Do your research
It’s OK if you don’t know what you are doing. All parents have to go through the difficult teething stages and you are no different. It’s part of what makes life scary and beautiful. You will pick it up as you go on, no doubt making a few mistakes along the way but ultimately ending up stronger and wiser for it. Fortunately, there are loads of great resources online packed full of useful information, advice and help. Read blogs and watch YouTube channels from single parents who have done it all before, and read parenting guides to get inspiration.
Connect with other single parents
There are loads of other people in the same boat as you. It is worth seeking them out so you can be part of a community who share advice and help each other out. Search online for single parent forums and social media groups. Alternatively you could find them locally, whether through your kid’s school, extracurricular activities or even an app like Meetup. With your new network, you will be able to swap parenting advice and assist each other with babysitting and other errands.
Create a routine
Children need to grow up in a stable environment. If their life is irregular and chaotic, it could affect their mental health and development so do what you can to keep things grounded. This might seem easier said than done when you are a stressed out single parent, but there are ways to achieve it. Create a routine for you and your child so they know what to expect each day and can feel a semblance of control over their life. Even if they have multiple caretakers and travel between two different homes,establishing a schedule will ensure things run much more smoothly.
Look after yourself
Although your child is no doubt your number one priority, you need to take time for yourself too. The responsibilities of solo parenting can take their toll on your mental and physical health, and you don’t want to risk succumbing to stress and anxiety. If you let things get out of control you will end up burning out and won’t be able to look after your child as effectively. Make sure you find the time to engage in some self care, in which you prioritize your own wellbeing. You could spend some time on Rampant when you’re alone, or get outside in nature and take long walks, runs or bike rides to get some exercise and destress. Ensure you are eating healthily and finding some time to engage in hobbies that make you happy.
No one said parenting is easy, but if you follow these five tips you’ll get through it with as little stress as possible.