Tag Archives: parenting

Helping Your Kid With a Fear of the Doctor

07/07/2021 R.C. Liley Leave a comment

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Seeing doctors and other health professionals is something that we all have to do from time to time. Few of us enjoy our medical appointments, but most us can handle them well enough. However, there are some people, children in particular, who have a real fear of seeing the doctor. If your child is one of them, here are a few things that might help you to help them:

Model good behavior

If your child has a fear of the doctors, one of the best things you can do is accompany them and act as casually as possible try to have fun even. If they see that not only are you not afraid, but you’re also having a good time, it may just be enough to put their mind at ease.

Practice

If your child is due her shots or needs to attend a hearing aid fitting, for example, one thing you can do to get them comfortable with the idea is to practice at home. Role-playing exactly what will happen from the moment you go through the door until the appointment is over will not only be fun for them but it will help to take the fear away. Fear of the unknown is a huge cause of medical phobias, so by letting your kids know just what will happen, you can really help them.

Focus on the positives

When talking about medical appointments with your kids, always try to push the positives. Talk about how great the doctor is and how she can help you all to be healthy and keep those nasty germs at bay, for example. Avoid talking about any of the negative aspects and big up the doctor so that your child starts to see them as more of a superhero than a villain who gives them shots and causes them pain.

Don’t give you much warning

Although practicing before seeing the doctor is a great way to allay their fears, try not to mention the medical appointment too soon in advance as it will give your child the chance to brood over the appointment, building it up in their head until it’s the scariest thing ever. Try to keep letting them know until the day before at most.

Keep close

As a parent, when your child is being examined, keep as close as you possibly can to your child. Be their anchor and let them know that you are right there and there is nothing to fear. This may be easier in some cases than others, but if you can’t hold on to your child, at least stand as close as you possibly can to them.

Get them therapy

Some children develop a real phobia around healthcare professionals, which it can be really difficult, if not impossible, for you as parents to unpick. If that is the case, then speaking with a pediatric therapist is often the best course of action. They have seen it all before and developed effective techniques for getting rid of the fear once and for all.

Good luck!

Life, Parenting

Providing a United Front: Being a Great Co-Parent After Divorce

07/01/2021 R.C. Liley Leave a comment

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Getting a divorce is one of the hardest things we can all go through. When there are children involved, it means we’ve got to put a lot of our emotions to one side for the sake of being good parents. Learning to be an effective co-parent in this situation is a massive learning curve. Even though your relationship hasn’t worked, your parenting can. Let’s show you how you can co-parent effectively after a separation.

Have an Open Dialogue With Your Your Co-Parent

This is one of the fundamentals and is a prominent part of a child custody attorney’s mediation strategy. But it makes sense to keep an open dialogue with your ex-partner. For the sake of the children, keeping each other informed of events and schedules that could affect the children will make the relationship work. It can be difficult, but you have to guarantee that you are keeping each other informed about every change because if you do not, and your child becomes the key source of information. This soon results in crossed wires, which also makes your child feel like they are right in the middle.

Keeping Both Households Consistent

Children need structure, and this means that in both households, you’ve got to keep a similar approach. When you run a tight ship in both homes, this will create routine and security for your kids. No matter wherever your child goes, they know that certain rules will come into play, so they can have a greater sense of well-being. That sense of the unknown is what every child fears, so having the same environment in both places creates that all-important consistency.

Remove Emotions from the Equation

As hard as it is to separate your emotions, you’ve got to recognize this is almost like a business arrangement. As tempting as it is to try and make a big custody grab and have the children full-time, you’ve got to remove your emotions from the equation and be realistic about your commitments. If you work a 60 hour week, are you actually going to be able to be an effective parent full-time? When both of you hit a realistic schedule that caters to everyone, this will make life a lot easier. You should also remember that, even though you and your partner are not together anymore, this doesn’t mean your ex is a bad parent. You’ve got to realize that just because your ex and yourself didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that you can’t both be better parents. It is still possible for both of you to be great parents, and in fact, you may find that you are better at working together when you are not together.

It is not easy, but you must remember that for the sake of the children, you both have to provide consistency. You and your ex-partner love your children, and this means that your child needs the love of both of you. It is a hard balance to get right, but you should not be an unbalanced parent. This is why it is so important to provide a united front.

Life, Lifestyle, Parenting, Tips

4 Steps To Help Kids Prepare For College

06/29/2021 R.C. Liley Leave a comment

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Your kids going to college is one of the bittersweet moments of any parents’ life. While you might be more proud than you could ever imagine, you’re also worried about how they will cope in the big world all by themselves. Of course, there are thighs you can do before they go to college that will prepare them, and this includes everything from knowing how to stand out to how to stay sensible.

Know How to Stand Out

You can help your child prepare for college before they even get accepted to any specific school. For many, this could be what gives them the edge over other applicants, and services such as college consulting will allow them to stand out from the crowd and hit the ground running once they arrive. If you or your partner never went to college, these services can be vital for helping your teen understand what’s expected of them and how to make sure they can handle the work (and the freedom) that often trips unprepared college students up.

Learn Some Independence and Responsibility

Going off to college is often a child’s first taste of freedom, which can go one of two ways. Either they take their freedom for granted, or they understand how to have fun and stay on course. Before they pack their life away and move into a campus dorm, you can encourage them to get a summer job to teach them responsibility and earn some money so that they have some financial independence, as well as an idea of what a career could be, for the semester and beyond.

Encourage Them to Socialize

Back in the day, college students showed up at their dorm and introduced themselves to their roommate for the first time. But, this is not the case any longer. Social media will give your teen the chance to chat with other freshmen starting at the same time. Some colleges will use Facebook or other platforms to put people in touch with one another so they can learn a little about other students, giving them a fledgling network of fellow students (who could become friends) before they even arrive.

Remind Them You’re Just a Phone Call Away

You might be freaking out about your child heading off to college, and although they are putting on a brave face, they might be equally as terrified. They might get cold feet on the day of the big move, so you must be strong and remind them that you’re just a phone call away. You won’t be able to solve all of their problems, but you can offer advice whenever they need you, and this can be enough to encourage them to follow through with their college career and feel confident.

Life’s Next Step

While not everyone will (or should) go to college, there is a significant portion of the teen population that will, and they will have the time of their lives. But, as it is the first taste of freedom for many, there’s a risk of struggling to maintain a routine. By helping them prepare for college, you can send them off ready to succeed, and set them up for life, too.