Tag Archives: parenting

Life, Parenting

Setting A Great Example: It’s All About The Little Things

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As parents, we’re basically superheroes in the eyes of our kids. Through us they glimpse the powers, promise and responsibility that adult life brings. Being the responsible parents that we are, we recognize that the way in which we behave,whether we have our kids in tow or not, informs our kids’ expectations of how to act in society when they reach adulthood. While some kids are cognizant of their parents’ mistakes and make a concerted effort not to repeat them when they become parents themselves, all-too often kids end up repeating the same behavioral patterns as their parents, for good or ill.

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But when it comes to setting a great example for our kids, we don’t have to kid ourselves. We shouldn’t aim to be infallible in the eyes of our kids (that would give them impossibly unrealistic expectations of themselves) not should we try to be someone we’re not for their benefit (that way lies resentment). We merely have to be the best version of ourselves possible. That doesn’t even mean that you have to overhaul your whole life. It’s just a matter of keeping an eye on the little things…

Every plate matters

Never underestimate the importance of nutrition when raising a child. It’s astonishing how many parents we see whose kids spend their days chugging on a soda bottle and yet they wonder why their kids are out of control. A diet of e-numbers, caffeine and sugar is rarely conducive to good behavior.

Good nutrition is the backbone of good health. Purge your kitchen of unhealthy treats and when the occasion merits a delicious and indulgent snack, make your own, it’s infinitely healthier and more rewarding. This brings us to…

Curb your indulgences

We all have our vices but rarely do we want to pass them on to our kids. When it comes to the first cigarette of the day with coffee or that glass of wine after a hard day at work, be careful about how we present these to our kids. We all-too-often frame our vices as treats or rewards which they can expect in adulthood. As well as finding healthier substitute for our more harmful cravings like substituting cigarettes for ejuices or eschewing the bacon double cheeseburger for a veggie patty, we can benefit our kids by preventing them from seeing satisfaction solely in the unhealthy. Teach them to find joy in good, healthy habits and you can unlock the secrets of healthy living.

Never prohibit when you can educate

When it comes to our vices, one of the worst (but most understandable) things we can do is say “You must never, ever do this!” before taking a deep drag on a cigarette or cracking open a cold bottle of beer. Many of us learn unhealthy habits from our parents and can tend to fetishize bad behaviors and look upon them as an intrinsic part of adulthood. It’s far better to explain the gratifications and the health risks of your vices and allow them to make an informed decision for themselves.

Be kind to someone, every day

In an era where more and more communication takes place online in pseudo anonymity it can seem as though the simple art of just being nice to people is overlooked. Show kids that everyday acts of kindness matter. Be kind to someone every day, whether it’s helping an elderly neighbor get their groceries out of the car or holding the door open for someone walking behind you in the hallway, teach your kids the value in quotidian acts of kindness.

Setting a great example is all about taking advantage of the little opportunities that life brings us every day.

Life, Parenting

Dad Dilemmas: How to Respond When Kids are Causing Chaos!

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Becoming a parent is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to you in your adult life. Starting a family and having a little person to nurture and teach can show you a side of yourself you didn’t know existed and as well as helping them to develop and grow, you’re actually doing the same for yourself. However, parenting can be hard. It’s not all a walk in the park and some days will be tough, after all, we’re all human and such responsibility and pressure to get it right can mean your head is all over the place some days. When your kids are playing up and causing chaos, here are a few of the ways you can ensure you’re staying calm and setting the best example.

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Try and get enough sleep

Of course, this is easier said than done when you have children as well as work. However if you and your partner both work together, there are ways you can make things smoother for you both. Perhaps you could have a day each weekend where one of you takes responsibility for the children and lets the other sleep uninterrupted. If you have close friends or family that offer to babysit for you overnight, use the opportunity to catch up on your sleep. This can help you to catch up on any sleep deficit you’re accumulating during the week and can massively improve your mood. When you’re tired, everything feels like a bigger deal than it is- and kids causing chaos can be even more stressful. Even one day a week to sleep as much as you want can make a difference to how you feel and react during the day, and so if you’re in a position to do this then it’s something to consider.

Give yourself a short break

The days are incredibly long when you’re up early and in bed late. If your kids have had the kind of day where they won’t let up with bad behavior or arguing (which does happen at times!) one way to respond is to give yourself a short break. Ask your partner to take over for a few minutes while you sit down and clear your head. You could take a shower, you could lose yourself in an app like Final Fantasy XV for a while, you could mediate or just have a tea or coffee in the garden away from the noise. Breathe, relax and remind yourself that you’re lucky to have everything you do- even though it might not feel like it in the midst of the chaos! One day your home will be an empty nest and you’ll do anything to have these times back.

Get help with their behavior

In most cases, kids playing up and causing chaos will just be regular child behavior. It’s normal to be full of energy and it’s perfectly normal to argue with siblings, be noisy and generally make a mess! However, if your child’s behavior is especially bad, and you’ve tried different forms of discipline without success then it could be worth seeking professional advice. Try and keep a diary of their behavior with details of what caused any tantrums or outbursts or the way they responded to discipline. This can be helpful when you speak to your doctor.

Life, Parenting

Dealing with Teenage Troubles When You’re a Dad

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When it comes to teenage troubles it makes you a little anxious just thinking about it. You have always been the fun loving, care free, laid back Dad that loves to have a laugh and a joke with the kids all the time. Now you might have to deal with some more serious matters and you’re not quite sure how to approach the situation. You feel like your job is supporting everyone in the family and making their lives easier, so this is your time to put your skills to work. It is time to listen to your teenager’s problems and help them to find a solution. Whether they are battling a serious illness such as depression or they are simply rebelling at school. Take charge as their father and help them through the rocky patch towards a brighter future.

Seek Professional Advice

If you have noticed a dramatic change in your teenager’s day to day behavior and you are genuinely worried about their health, then you may need to turn to a professional. There are many reputable teen treatment centers out there that will help your child conquer their mental health issues, self-esteem problems and ongoing anxieties. You might not be able to pinpoint the exact problem yourself, but an expert will be able to figure out whether it is anything from bipolar disorder to social media addictions. There is never any harm in seeking professional help, as long as it is going to benefit your child’s health in the long run.

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Give a Man’s Perspective

Sometimes a teenager just wants their dad’s point of view on a certain issue. Whether it’s your teenage daughter going through heartbreak or your son is having trouble with his self-esteem. Tell them what you went through when you were young and give comparisons. They will appreciate your honesty and will hopefully be able to see your personal side of their problems. When you are a man it can be very easy to keep a strong exterior at all times, but if you show a little vulnerability around your teens it shows them that it’s okay to be upset from time to time.

Don’t Lash Out

If your teenager comes to you with a problem or a mistake that they have made, then it is important not to get too angry with them. As long as it isn’t a major crime or serious mistake, then you can afford to be a little lenient with them. Remain calm and collected and simply explain that you are a little disappointed with them. This trick works a lot better than blowing a fuse!

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Listen to Their Feelings

When you are a parent it is easy to assume that you are always right in every situation; you are older and wiser so your opinion counts more, right? This isn’t always the case, so make sure you don’t approach every situation with this kind of attitude. Your kids might feel strongly about a certain situation and it important to hear them out. Listen to their feelings and allow them to have an opinion on things. You have raised an intelligent and strong-willed kid they are always trying to debate with you!

Give Them Space

You know what it is like to be a teenager who wants nothing to do with their parents for a good couple of years; every moody teen goes through it so don’t be too alarmed. Give them a little space and don’t force them to have open conversations with you. If you play it cool like them, they will feel like it’s their decision to come and talk to you about their problems. Keep your door open, but don’t make it too obvious.

Find a Workable Solution

If your teenager comes to you with a big problem, then you have already won half of the battle. When they open up to you and tell you what’s going on in their lives it makes it so much easier for you as a parent to deal with the situation. Stay calm and talk them through all of their options. Perhaps they have had a falling out with their close friend at school. You could offer them a number of options and leave it up to them to figure it out. They will be grateful for your help and you will also be showing them how to face up to their problems alone from time to time.

Speak to their School

When your teen starts behaving strangely or is coming to you with a number of worrying problems, then it might be a good idea to let the school know. If their teachers aren’t aware of their ongoing stresses and strains they might be adding to the issues unknowingly. Make sure their close and trusted teachers are aware of what they are going through, so that they can alleviate the stress or advise them on how to fix the problem.

Offer Incentives

Bribery is never a good idea for teenagers as they will often be able to see right through it. However, if you know your kid is super intelligent but simply isn’t getting the grades they deserve, then you need to do something about it. Treat them and reward them when they do really well in a test; challenge them to a head to head in mathematics and see if they beat you. You can subtly offer incentives for them to do well at school, without openly offering presents and bribes.

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You might have been through the same teenage troubles when you were a youngster so make sure you are always understanding of their problems. If you think you need to take further action and seek professional support, then don’t be ashamed to ask. Every child is different and it isn’t always a reflection on your parenting if they grow up with a mental illness or disorder. Your job is to always be there for them and support them through the tricky times. You are an amazing Dad, so never doubt your actions; everybody in your family truly appreciates you.