Tag Archives: parenting

Routine Maintenance As A Stay-at-Home Parent

05/12/2016 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

Search the web or ask other stay-at-home parents around you and one of the first bits of advice you’ll hear is “Find a routine!” This doesn’t just apply to at-home parents, of course, it’s absolutely vital for all parents.

As I moved away from my full-time job at the office into my new role as a stay-at-home dad, finding a routine was high on my list of priorities. It’s been two years now and I have been pretty good about sticking to a routine and not straying from my schedule. But, that doesn’t make it a good routine.

For one thing, this created havoc on my brain when the weekend rolled around and Going Mom was home. Of course I love my wife through and through, but I was thrown off and would find that I had trouble managing this for a while….a long while. Some days I’m not sure how she even put up with me, and some days she didn’t. I deserved it.

The weekends were bad enough, but going on a trip was even worse sometimes. Yeah, it was vacation, a time to cut loose and relax, but I had so much trouble enjoying the time because it simply was not my routine. There were other factors like finding acceptable food and whatnot, but getting out of my comfort zone (i.e. routine) was the big culprit.

I’d fight with myself saying to just enjoy time with friends and family, as that makes sense, but I’d still have trouble. As time passed, my stress management from daily, weekly, and monthly changes had me on an emotional rollercoaster. I made myself miserable.

If I couldn’t workout at the same time, go on walks at the same time for the same distance, cook meals for my family, vacuum the house, get Avery down for a nap at the same time, prepare dinner, and then kiss the girls goodnight as I sat up too late on the computer, there would be a stress bomb exploding in my head. All because this “sacred” routine was broken. As a result, I’d be cranky, snap at my wife or daughter for petty reasons, and simply no fun to be around.

I would talk to my wife about it every now and then, but never letting out all of my feelings. Finally, I broke down and let it all out telling her how everything got to me and how much I hated being like this but didn’t know what to do. Being the loving, caring, and pretty much always right wife that she is, she gave me an ultimatum.

Start meditating, doing yoga, or something to better manage my stress, or within three weeks, I would need actually seek help from a doctor about my stress. Whoa, doctors? No thanks, seeing enough of them for my shoulder as is, and I refuse to resort to prescription meds as a way to cover up the stress and anxiety.

We’ve had similar talks before where I said I needed to change, but they rarely lasted longer than a month. But this last time was different, and everything had built up more than ever, so I committed to make changes for the better.

I used to start my day by waking up right as Going Mom left for work. I’d then get Avery up and fed as I prepared dinner for the night and lunch for my wife to take to work the next day. Most of the time, I’d fail to get much food for myself, and then proceed to try and get in a workout with Avery in the garage. Trying to perform a set of heavy squats with a screaming toddler behind you is enough to drive monks up-the-wall-insane, which only further exacerbated my already high stress levels.

I’d finally eat after Avery went down for a nap and then plan on eating mostly late at night when everyone went to sleep. This meant staying up late and getting little sleep for myself. Thanks to my wife and the help of Shawn Stevenson’s book Sleep Smarter, I find the main cause of my routine stress; SLEEP.

Going Mom had a simple solution, try going to sleep earlier. Whoa, mind blowing! I’ve thought of doing it before, but held on so dearly to “my time” at night and just didn’t want to change. Well, I pushed my selfish thoughts off to give it a try.

Instead of staying up to stare at the computer for a couple hours at night, I went to sleep the same time as my wife. Here’s the kicker, I woke up earlier feeling better than before, had some tea/coffee, and got my workout in before Avery woke up. The fear of missing a workout is a big concern for me, so taking care of that right off the bat immediately puts me in a more relaxed state.

From there, I have a just enough time to prepare breakfast for Avery and myself before I get her up. Then we eat at the same time and have time after to actually do more without me stressing out so much. This has been going on for just over a week and I notice I feel much better/happier than I have in a long time.

Do I still get stressed? Of course, it’s completely normal to get stressed, in fact, it’s part of how we as humans have survived, but chronic stress can literally kill us. Not because of a saber tooth tiger, but from work, family issues, body image, traffic, etc.

Needless to say, making just one change in my routine has lead to having a more fulfilling day with my daughter and wife. I have plenty of minor details to work out, but sleeping earlier and smarter has solved the bulk of my issues. Having that stress-free time in the day to have genuine fun with my wife and daughter is something I will cherish forever.

routine, stress, happy, family, changes, stay-at-home

That’s what really matters. Missing a workout is no big deal, and I know it, so hopefully I’ll work on fully accepting it when that time comes knowing I’ll be able to jump right back on board soon again.

If you’re having trouble with your current routine, try and find the one thing that will lead to many more positive changes throughout the course of the day. For me, sleep was the big one, maybe it is for you too. Whatever the case, seek it out and change for the better. Trust me, you and your friends and family will be happy you did.

Life, Parenting

How The S Word Helps With Potty Training

04/30/2016 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

We’ve been in the midst of potty training for about two weeks now and have been seeing slow but steady progress. Hopefully we’re through the initial phase which I assume is the hardest part. Thanks in part to the S word, and of course a few healthy treat incentives like No Sugar-Added Lily’s Dark Chocolate Chips sweetened with stevia.

I’ll admit, Daddy got a treat every time she went potty too. They’re just too good not to sneak a few bites!

There are many potty training methods, and while we haven’t followed any of them to the T, the method we practiced most was the Two-Day Method a neighbor friend shared with us. Yes, the fact that I stay home with our daughter was a big factor here, but it can be done over the weekend too. As our friend recommends, aim to try when you have an extended weekend from a holiday or just take an extra day off.

Since I’m not here to lay out a full potty training program, I’ll spare you the minute details. Just know that within the week, after having our daughter in the house with diapers off, asking “Do you need to go potty?” more times than there are days in a year (Every. Day), and listening to a very unhappy kid who wanted to poop in her diaper, we actually made progress.

We felt hopeless at first, but many puddles and plops, a few successes with chocolate chip rewards, and use of the S word later, our little girl is going to the potty all by herself.

No, I’m not talking about the multitude of books on Socialism, Secrets, Suicide, Submission, and S**t with the title The S Word. I’m talking about snakes!

zoo, family, snake, reptile, kids, learning

Kids are fascinated with all kinds of creatures, and since she has a reptile-loving daddy, she started using “snake” to describe what she made in the potty. After her first BIG success in the potty, she stood up, turned around, and proclaimed “Ooooo, it’s a big snake! Hissssss!”

This was a proud dad moment on many levels. I mean, she freakin made a successful poop in her potty! After cleaning several plops on the floor and couch, I was beyond happy to see this milestone. As for the smell, not so much. Since that first snake, she’s made an entire family snakes almost every day.

Mommy snake, daddy snake, and several baby snakes have all been spotted in the potty. If she’s reluctant to sit on the potty but my wife and I see that she’s overly squirmy, we just ask her to try and make a snake. 8 times out of 10, she will at least give it a ~~shot~~ squeeze. And 9 times out of 10, a snake, big or small, makes an appearance.

She now knows to pull her underwear down and sit on her potty by herself. If we are outside or not at home, she sometimes says she needs to go potty, but this is still a work in progress. For that we are using The Honest Company Training Pants at night time and while out and about. Gone are the days of our cloth diapers, it’s Elmo undies and training pants here on out. Eventually going to just undies of course. I’m not sure what turned her on to liking Elmo so much though….

potty training, sesame street, elmo, the s word

Ohhhh yeah, nothing like watching Sesame Street on the pot. #ToddlerLife

We are proud of our little semi-potty trained girl. There’s nothing like being in the kitchen and all of the sudden hearing her going “Hisss-hissss-hissssssss!” after making a “snake” in the potty. True story, I heard her hissing and thought she was just making animal sounds so I chimed in and hissed too. Then I turned around to an odd smell and her undies down. Go Avery!

If you’re in the process or getting ready to start potty training, either get your kids excited about snakes or some other poop-shaped creature and learn the sound they make to use it as a form of victory call after pooping in the potty. Oh, but don’t forget the chocolate chip rewards. I know, it’s an ironic treat to have for poop, so feel free to use your own reward system.

After a week or two, they’ll be so proud of using the potty, they may not care about the rewards anymore. But they’re never proud enough to want pictures taken, so don’t do this….

potty training, toddler, poop, funny, humor, parenting

Going Healthy, Life, Parenting, Promo

Nerves, Needles, and Stress: Our Story of Trying to Conceive

04/19/2016 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

While I have received compensation for this post from Fertility Planit, all opinions are my own.

Before we had our daughter, my wife and I never considered that becoming parents would be so complicated. Once we were ready to start trying to conceive (TTC), she would just get off birth control, wait several months, and we figured pregnancy would come easily and naturally after that. My wife tracked days/cycles, took her basal temperature you do as you begin trying to conceive.

Almost a year later and we were still not pregnant and becoming a little upset. It didn’t make sense, we never went out to eat, cooked all of our meals with fresh, whole foods, drank only in moderation, and always kept active. What were we doing wrong to that was keeping us from getting pregnant?

We decided to make our first of many visits to a fertility clinic to see what was (or wasn’t) going on. After running the usual tests on both of us, the doctor found several factors working against us. Kelley had endometriosis which was surgically removed, and my blood labs showed several abnormal readings including low testosterone and thyroid.

I didn’t want to accept the results as true. I strive to live a healthy and active lifestyle, and this is all I have to show for it? I felt defeated. HCG injections were prescribed twice a week to combat my low levels. Self-administered shots in the lower abdomen at home became the norm every Thursday and Sunday each week.

Time passed and my blood tests showed my levels were barely up. The doctor suggested we try intrauterine insemination (IUI) as it seemed like we had a good chance with the procedure. I was prescribed natural thyroid, and Kelley was given several prescriptions which required injections. She cringed at the thought of giving herself shots, but luckily she had a husband who had become proficient with the task.

After 2 failed cycles of IUI, the doctor suggested In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), and we both agreed to give it a try. To stimulate the growth of her ovaries, Kelley needed 2 daily shots in her stomach. One to help her eggs grow, and another to help keep them from over-growing since Kelley was expected to respond well. The eggs grew just as needed and were ready to be retrieved.

After retrieval, Kelley needed a progesterone injection to prepare her uterine lining for egg implantation. Instead of her stomach, this one had to be given in her rear-end.

I’d have to work within a specific area of the buttocks, use enough force to get through to the muscular region, make sure the needle went in straight, not angled, and make sure no blood came into the syringe as that meant I did something wrong. This was to happen every day precisely at 7:00 p.m. for several weeks. After this, I figured I should be a pro at giving shots!

Several injections later and we were ready for implantation. We had many high quality embryos to choose from and picked just 1 since 1 kid was our goal. The first round IVF was a success, be we still had to do the shots to keep her uterus in good condition for the newly implanted egg.

The first positive pregnancy test Kelley took was almost missed. She woke up at 5:00 a.m. since it’s better to test after not using the restroom for a while and took a test. She didn’t see anything, so she tossed the stick in the trash and came back to bed upset.

Later that morning, I was going to throw something away and saw the stick and what appeared to me to be a faint line. I had no clue how to look at a pee stick or what it meant, so I kept it to myself. Kelley did the same double take at her trashed test and noticed the line too. She mentioned it to me, I grinned, and we both gleamed with excitement.

Today, we have a precious little girl who means the world to us. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing, but we’re glad that part of our past is over. It wasn’t fun, but so worth the outcome. We had never heard of the Stork OTC by Rinovum Women’s Health home conception kit back then, but now I wonder if it would’ve saved us a lot of time, money, and stress.

The Stork OTC is an easy to use, drug-free, non-prescription conception kit that couples can use in the comfort of their own home while trying to conceive. It is the only at-home conception device cleared by the FDA and is a great cost-effective option for those just starting out on the path of trying to conceive. The Stork OTC collects semen into a cervical cap with a condom-like sheath worn during intercourse. There is the option of using donor sperm with the device as well. The sperm is then delivered to the opening of the cervix by way of the applicator. The cap remains in place for up to 6 hours, after which it is removed with a simple tampon-like pull chord.

My wife and I both agree that we could’ve tried the Stork OTC as our first option and avoided many doctor’s visits had worked out. If you or someone you know is trying to conceive, check out the Stork OTC as great option to use in the privacy of your own home and avoid numerous doctor’s visits and tests.

Be sure to follow The Stork OTC on Facebook and @StorkbyRinovum on Twitter as well as checking out the Stork OTC website to learn more. For a chance to win your own Stork OTC device join the #StorkStories Twitter Chat on 4/21 at 9pm EST.