Tag Archives: play

How My Broken Foot is Making Me a Better Dad

09/10/2014 R.C. Liley Leave a comment

Are you someone who depends on having a plan? You feel anxious or even worried if you don’t have something laid out for the next day or two?

This is basically how I have been for the past few years, and it mostly revolves around exercise and food. I “need” to know what workout I’m doing the next day, and exactly how my food is prepared which is why I prefer making all of my own meals.

Obsessive? Probably, but it’s better than how I used to go out to eat frequently and would order fast food without ever questioning where the so called “food” came from or it’s actual nutritional profile. So I’m okay with obsessive.

For exercise, I could definitely tone it down, but it’s almost like an addiction. I feel a sense of relief and well-being after finishing a good lifting or HIIT session and refuse to give it up. When I didn’t have a set routine planned out for the day, I could always count on running to give me my “fix.” But then it happened, a stress fracture in my left foot. #damn

At least someone enjoys "the boot" — At least someone enjoys “the boot”

And of course running is the main culprit, and I’m sure daily burpees took their toll on my 4th metatarsal. So, now something I did every day must be put on hold for 2+ months. This is an OCD person’s nightmare!

Or so I think; I’m not really sure if I’m full-blown OCD, but I’m sure Going Mom would say otherwise. If, before my injury, I was told I could no longer run or do most weight bearing activities, I’d become an instant basket-case. As it turns out, I’m actually handling it quite well…..I think.

Instead of running, I ride my bike on a trainer in the garage or go for a swim in the neighborhood pool. The pool will close soon, but Kelley, Avery, and I made good use of it last week.

I’m so thankful to my lovely wife for coming down with me and watching Avery as I swam laps. I think Avery enjoyed it too!

I was worried the fractured foot would not allow me squat or deadlift like I normally do for lifting session, but it’s actually helped. Since proper form when squatting/deadlifting is to keep most of your weight on your heels, I am forced to do so and am getting better workout as a result. That weight that used to be light, really gets heavy when lifting the right way!

Instead of my daily 31 burpees, I am now doing 31 1-legged squats per leg each day. Not only are they harder, but now I’m working different muscles and feeling it a lot more! Change is good.

What does all of this have to do with becoming a better dad? Well, although I still have the “need” for exercise and am specific about my food, I have learned that I’m able to adapt to changes. Just ask my wife, she’ll agree without hesitation that I am stubborn about getting in a workout for the day and if we have to go out to eat, it’s always a battle. I still have a way’s to go, for sure, but I’m making changes and realize the world is not falling apart and I’m still healthy.

I have found that my training doesn’t have to be so intense all of the time and now I spend more time with Avery instead of brewing on the next workout or spending another 20 minutes grinding it out in the garage. Avery is usually very cooperative when in the garage with me, but now I can hang out with her inside and play with her more.

Working out doesn’t have to be full of complicated moves, and now I’m keeping things basic by lifting heavy weights followed by a quick conditioning routine and then done; playtime with Avery.

Another at-home dad and I have teamed with the City Dads Group to start our own Dallas Dads Group and we’ll have our first meetup this Saturday, the 13th. Prior to my injured foot, I was worried some of the meetings might interfere with my training plans, but now that’s not a big deal.

The top priority is making time for Avery and my wife; working out doesn’t have to be set in stone. Plus, I’m sure playing with Avery at the various meetup locations will be more than enough exercise. Especially as she keeps getting closer and closer to walking.

Now I’m more excited than ever to start bringing Avery to our Dallas Dads Group meetings, and hope to meet a lot of other great dads and their kids along the way. Going Mom will readily agree I still have a ways to go, but progress is progress, and I’m heading in the right direction! Maybe I can teach our baby how to leave the rug flat so daddy’s broken foot doesn’t trip!

Teaching myself how to adapt to changes and not stress so much is vital to being the awesome dad I aspire to be, and thanks to my broken foot, I’m getting there; one ~~step~~ limp at a time.

Have you ever had a setback due to an injury?

How did you adjust while in recovery?

Life, Parenting

Baby’s First Ride Down the Slide

08/21/2014 R.C. Liley 5 Comments

Going Mom took the Monday after our 7th wedding anniversary weekend off to spend more time with Avery and me and to adjust back to life as a parent. Just one full day without a baby to watch and we get spoiled!

Don’t get me wrong, we missed our sweet girl tremendously, but any parent can relate to the “freedom” I’m sure. Similar to our inability to decide on things to do while downtown together, we were at a loss back home too. Kelley had to get on to me for spending too much time over the sink and in the kitchen in general and not with my two girls.

I’m glad she called me out, I need to be knocked in the head sometimes. Figuratively, please! So, I left my soapy dishes in the sink and joined my wife and Avery in the baby jail a.ka. play pen. She acts like it’s jail sometimes, and even attempts to escape frequently!

Avery crawled around and played with her toys scattered across the floor as Kelley and I acted as human obstacle courses. Avery grew tired of this after about an hour as we tried to keep her entertained. If there were a game called “Indecision”, we’d win, hands down.

Finally, we decided getting outside for fresh air and movement was the best bet, and walked over to the neighborhood playground not far from our house. I’ve been wanting to let Avery go down a slide since she gets excited when we toss her in the air or play airplane with her. This girl is going to love roller-coasters, I just know it!

The trip to the playground was short, but our goal was achieved; Avery had her first ride down the slide! Kelley and I each took a turn going down with her and she only seemed slightly amused. She did give us some cute smiles though, so it’s a win to us!

Monday was coming to an end and we went back home to get our dog, Abby, to go for a longer walk. I know soon Avery will be more excited for the playground when she is running around on her own, so I’m trying to enjoy this stage while it lasts. But, I’m impatient and want to play!

Here are some of my favorite photos from our sliding experience; enjoy!

At what age do you think she’ll be ready to go down by herself?

I’m thinking too far ahead, huh?

Any favorite sliding stories you want to share?

Life, Parenting

How My Daughter is Saving My Life

08/14/2014 R.C. Liley 3 Comments

She is 3 months shy of being 1 year old, and my daughter is already a hero. Although she may not be aware of how and why she’s saving daddy’s life, she is doing it nonetheless.

Over the years, I have found ways to become increasingly stressed about everything. Always having something to do, thinking ahead and worrying about what’s to come, getting mad at minute details, etc. Guilty with a capital “G”!

Going Mom has given the best support a husband could ever ask for over the years, and she’s what kept me from going berserk! Now I have her and Avery as a trusty sidekick.

I recently wrote about our long journey to having Avery and how a big part of our problems was a result of what stress had done to me physically. It sucked, I was miserable, and so was everyone around me. I never considered that stressing so much could be such a powerful and dangerous force, but now I know stress is a proven killer.

This is beyond scary! Something that many of us consider to be purely mental, can actually lead to our demise. Armed with this “stressful” knowledge, I am working on making changes to remove myself from the dangerous mindset. Becoming a stay-at-home dad is one major change and I wrote several times on how that has helped reduce my stress tremendously.

Make no mistake, I still have a ways to go before I stop stressing over things, just ask my wife! A little stress is natural and even good for us, but I still worry too much about washing dishes, food, exercise, always having a plan, and never living in the moment. I once lived in a carefree world, and now I’m striving to go back there.

With the help of my beautiful wife and daughter, I’m slowly (read, slowly) lowering stress levels and re-learning how to live “in the moment.” Since most of my time is now spent with Avery, she has been helping me in many ways; all unknown to her. Yes, babies are hard work and create plenty of stress themselves, but that’s a different kind of stress, not one that can kill!

One way Avery helps is by simply being so adorable. Every time I look at her or at the thousands (literally) of pictures of her, my heart fills with joy and I feel instant happiness set in. How can you not be happy with that smile?

I’m adamant about exercise, and thanks to our awesome baby, she’s happy to join along in her jumper. There’s nothing like finishing a set of very taxing squats and turning around to see this girl so excited about life.

But, probably the biggest factor in Avery saving my life by reducing stress is with play. She still has a ways to go before she can really start to play, but she’s active enough for a little rolling around and tickle time! Avery “plays” a major role by keeping me in check throughout the day.

When I’m standing over the sink washing dishes and she’s crawling all over the floor around me, I make it a point to stop and get down to crawl with her. The instant I’m on the ground and I see her smiling back at me, all of my worries disappear.

Daughter vs Dishes....hmm, easy choice!! — Daughter vs Dishes….hmm, easy choice!!

As she grows, Avery’s playfulness will grow with her, and I will be right there to play along in the dirt, swing in a swing, jump on a trampoline and pick her up when she falls. All while caring less about the materialistic things and more about emotions and family.

Of course, I still make it a point to clean those dishes and do other chores, but the fact is, I’m having less of a “must do it now” mentality and learning to enjoy things more often.

I know my mom and wife are thinking “What!?” because I admittedly still get worked up over small things. Again, I have a long way to go, but it’s a start, and I feel that as Avery grows and becomes even more playful, the bad stress will diminish. The stress that replaces it will be more of a beautiful “I have a child and I’m raising her” kind of stress, and I’m happy to take it on!

Do you feel yourself getting over-stressed? Any ways of coping with it?

Has your child helped or hurt your stress levels? I know, I know, kids are stressing, but you know what I mean!