Tag Archives: puns

Birthday Puns + 11,712 Split Squats and Push Ups

06/08/2016 R.C. Liley 7 Comments

Hey, it’s my birthday today, June 8th. I am now 32 years old, yay….

Last year, when I turned 31, I made a goal to complete 32 split squats per leg and push ups every day leading up to my 32nd birthday. So here we are and I am proud to say I’ve met my goal. With it being a leap year, I was ever so privileged to do the moves for 366 straight days instead of the 365. Hence 366 x 32 = 11,712.

The split squats and push ups were usually used as finishers after whatever workout I did for the day, and they proved to be great exercises. I chose 32 for the upcoming number of years I would turn. The year before that, I did 31 burpees.

If you need a goal to help you move more, just use your age as a marker to perform X amount of whatever you choose. Note, don’t choose burpees unless you’re 10. I’m pretty sure 31 burpees per day for 365 days had something to do with that stress fracture.

Am I going to do 33 of something now? Probably not. Instead, I’ll just make it a point to move as much as I can throughout the day. Maybe I’ll choose random exercises, but with my shoulder surgery coming up later this month and trying to mend my stress fracture that never fully healed, I’ll be happy to do whatever I can. I know my body could use some quality recovery time anyway. Then, after several months have passed of taking it easy, I’ll be reinvigorated to get back to the barbell to slowly get my strength back.

I’ll have to make the most of my arms before the surgery while we’re on vacation at the Outer Banks. From what I’ve heard by other parents, all of the attractions and other expensive things are not as big of a deal to toddlers. Instead, they enjoy the simple things like playing in the sand and watching the waves. I’m clinging on this notion and hope to build lots of sand castles, hunt for seashells, swim in the ocean, and eat fresh seafood. Any tips/advice/stories? I’m all ears.

Get it? Ears of corn? No? Too…ummm…corny? 🙂

Speaking of puns, I’m treating myself and anyone else who enjoys a good (or bad) pun to a few today. Guess I’ll start by giving myself a card.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Okay, not really, I’m not sure what he got, he hasn’t opened anything yet.
Statistics show that birthdays are good for your health. The more you have, the longer you live.
Buying a gift for a sculptor is hard and requires all of his friends to chip in.
My wife gave me a book of puns for my birthday and it is awesome! It was two meaningful.
I just want a nice fork for my birthday because there is no tine like the present.
My friend tried wrapping all the birthday presents for me, but he didn’t have the gift.

That’ll about do it for today. I need to start figuring out what to pack for the trip and go on another construction site adventure with Avery. I might be another year older, but as long as I can laugh at the joke below, I think I’ll be okay.

Puns

A Random List of Puns 2

05/14/2016 R.C. Liley 2 Comments

A month ago I shared my first Random List of Puns post. Although I didn’t see a flow of online traffic rushing to see my puns, at least I get to laugh at them again. Hey, there are plenty of worse sequels out there….

puns, sequel, bad movies, air bud, funny, humor, jokes

As always, I hope anyone reading these enjoy at least one pun. If you’re like me, going just seven days without a pun will make one weak. (eh, eh?)

When a sheep is going in the wrong direction it makes a ewe turn.
I just got back from the leech museum, it sucked.
Flowers that wish to abstain from pollination should consider plant parenthood.
The glue company failed quickly. The owner couldn’t adhere to his business plan and customers never became attached.
The man who created a new hay baler retired early. He made a bundle.
Most horses break up from lack of a stable relationship.
I used to toss and turn in bed all night, but since I started listening to music, I’ve had a sound sleep.
My friend said that feta is the best cheese, so I said he clearly didn’t know jack. Then he threw a lump of cheddar at me, not very mature. I asked if he curd go a-whey after that.
Look out for triangles making bold claims, they’re usually wrong. It’ll be a clear sine if they are right.
The latest craze is playing Scrabble on the road. At least that’s the word on the street.
Cows don’t have feet because they lactose.
She was interviewed to join an elite hair stylist group but never heard back. She didn’t make the cut, but kept a good attitude and brushed it off.
My teacher kept bugging me to write a preposition, so I finally gave in.
The baby bird had trouble learning to fly, so it decided to just wing it.
I saw a novel about crime and asked the bookstore employee if it was any good. He said it has it’s prose and cons.
A great way to help the environment is to cut down on deforestation.
His candy cane collection must be worth a fortune. It’s all in mint condition.
I bought a new book about infinity, it just goes on forever!
When asked if he could help, the TV repairman nodded and said he just needs to get set to work.

Have a great weekend!

Puns

A Random List of Puns

04/15/2016 R.C. Liley 1 Comment

I try to post puns on my personal Facebook page at least 4 times per week. While I don’t always succeed, I come pretty close at sharing my cringe-worthy puns on a consistent basis. It’s hard work, but the the chance that someone will actually laugh at what I write makes it all worth the wasted time standing around thinking of how to make a pun out of whatever idea I have in my head.

pun, puns, funny, humor, laugh, friday

We can never have too much laughter (or groans……sorry about that), so I hope to make this a recurring a post to share the collection of puns I posted for the past week or two and maybe any others I found and want to share. Besides being an easy post to write, I get to laugh at each pun all over again. Then another time when proofreading.

I’ll stop ~~talking~~ writing now, and give you the list.

My teacher kept bugging me to write a preposition, so I finally gave in.
The baby bird had trouble learning to fly, so it decided to just wing it.
I saw a novel about crime and asked the bookstore employee if it was any good. He said it has it’s prose and cons.
A great way to help the environment is to cut down on deforestation.
His candy cane collection must be worth a fortune. It’s all in mint condition.
I bought a new book about infinity, it just goes on forever!
When asked if he could help, the TV repairman nodded and said he just needs to get set to work.
I made strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream for my short friend, but he said he can make some much better. He has a neapolitan complex.
The fullback’s girlfriend broke up with him since he never made time for her because he was always rushing.
If you eat sweets before dinner, your appetite will dessert you since more food will seem off-pudding.