secrets Archives - Going Dad

Avery: Dad, why do you always have that thing in front of your face while making silly noises at me?

Me: I’m sorry, Avery, I didn’t know it bothered you so much. This thing is called a camera and it is used to take pictures of things. In my case, I love taking many pictures of you because you are just sooooo beautiful!

Avery: A camera, huh? How does it take pictures?

Me: Well, this is a DLSR camera and images it captures are saved to a memory card inside the camera. Here’s a quick description from the How It Works website:

“A DSLR (digital single-lens reﬂex) camera employs a mechanical mirror system that directs the light travelling through the attached lens upwards at a 90 degree angle allowing the photographer to compose the shot through the viewﬁnder. As the shutter button is pressed the exposure takes place: the mirror swings out of the way and the shutter opens allowing the lens to project the light on to the image sensor.”

Avery: I just pooped.

Me: Oh crap……ha ha, pun intended. Okay, bad joke, let me get you changed. How about that blue cloth diaper you seem to love so much in this picture?

Avery: Dad, you’re the one who likes that diaper so much. But sure, I’ll take it if it will make you happy.

Me: No, not really.

Avery: Oh…….

Me: Okay, all changed into a dry diaper! And about what I said, I was just kidding, you ALWAYS make me happy!

Avery: Really? Phew, I was getting a little sad. You and Mommy make me happy too. Except when you put me on my stomach…..I despise that.

Me: Yeah, Daddy just likes to joke around a lot. You may as well get used to it now because I’ll only get worse as you get older. But, you and I can work together to get mommy really good! Plus, Mommy is the one who always wants you on your tummy.

Avery: Hmmm, I don’t know if she’d like that. Oh, and I know it’s you always saying “It’s Tummy Time” right before bed when I’m already exhausted from crying and sitting in my chair. So don’t blame Mommy you meany. Are you sure it’s not bad for us to play jokes on Mom?

Me: Of course not! It’s all for fun and games and mommy loves games! But, you have to promise not to tell her when we have something planned. Can you keep a secret?

Avery: I won’t say a word.

Me: Okay, good, thank you. Also, there will be times when you do something for the first time while mommy is working, but we have to keep those a secret too. So, when mommy is home and you do that thing again, we will act like it’s the first time. Then, everyone is happy, okay?

Avery: Mmmmm, I don’t know. What’s in it for me?

Me: Well, maybe I’ll do less Tummy Time when you are already extremely tired.

Avery: Seriously, that’s all you have to offer? Weak.

Me: Okay, okay, I know that’s a lot of secrets…… How about Mommy and I extend bath time and I won’t wrap you in a swaddle where your arms can’t move anymore?

Avery: Yes, that is a lot of secrets, but okay, my lips are covered. Literally, see?

Me: Ha ha, I like your sense of humor. I wonder where you get that from? At least secrets aren’t lies though; lies are bad and we don’t tell lies in this house.

Avery: Yeah, no lies, not telling those to Mommy.