Tag Archives: stay-at-home dad

Avoid Awkward Silence as an At-Home Parent: Six Ways to Develop Early Vocabulary Skills

Me: Hey Avery, are you hungry?

Avery: ……..

Me: Okaaayyyy, how about we try walking?

Avery: …….

Me: What’s wrong, did you poop?

Avery: ………

And so on and so forth. Thus is the typical conversation most parents have with their babies.

When you start life as an at-home parent your infant, silence is inevitable and expected. Sure, there’s crying and cooing, but unless you’re caring for other kids at the talking age, you have no one to actually converse with when at home.

We only have one kid, so it’s just Avery and me spending every day together, learning and growing along the way. I love it. It’s fulfilling, rewarding, better than sitting in an office (to me), way better than daycare (financially and physically), and it sometimes drives me INSANE!

Oops, did I say that? It’s not when she’s extremely fussy and screaming out loud, or when she’s pulling out my leg hair as I’m trying to cook meals for day; it’s the silence. Crying, I can take, but sometimes it gets quiet, a little too quiet.

Don't mind me, I'll just sit here and stare.
Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here and stare.

As I first mentioned, it’s expected from an infant, but at a year old and close to making actual words with her babbling, it’s just awkward when she turns silent. I’ll be working in the kitchen as she’s happily pushing her boxes across the floor (yes, we’re classy) or we’ll be playing in the front room, but all too often, she turns silent and stares into space.

I know you’re thinking, “Must be poop!”, and I used to think the same, but that’s usually accompanied by grunting and a strawberry-red face. I’ll check anyway because you never know (right?), but 8.3 times out of 10, there’s no poop in sight……or smell.

Luckily, there are solutions to most problems in the world, and I’ve found six that help combat the awkward silence as an at-home parent. As she grows, many of these will act as a wonderful base to build upon and hopefully expand her vocab skills and mind.

1. Explain what you are doing. When I’m in the kitchen (it’s a lot!), I’ll catch Avery staring at me as I work. Instead of just carrying on in silence, I’ll explain to her exactly what I’m doing as if she’s a student anxious to jot down all of my notes. I do this for everything from the exercises I do when working out and even during diaper changes. This gives me the pseudo-conversation I sometimes miss and helps keep her engaged in daily activities.

2. Explain what they are doing. Since it would be narcissistic to only talk about yourself, describe the actions your kid is making too. This goes along with number 1 above, and will help them begin to understand their capabilities.

Yes dear, you are accurately portraying Chucky, the killer doll.
Yes dear, you are accurately portraying Chucky, the killer doll.

3. Make eye contact when speaking to your child. In doing so, your child may be more inclined to communicate. Of course, watch what you’re doing too; like changing dirty diapers!! I’ve tried looking into her eyes while explaining how I’m cleaning her bottom and next thing I knew, well, you know. #ParentingFail

4. Read to them often. Even when they can’t stand still and try to tear the pages from your hands as they scream, keep reading! Avery does this to Going Mom and I daily, but trust me, you’ll help build vocabulary skills and maybe even have them reading before others their age. Make sure to choose books with big, bright colors and fun pictures. Moby Dick is not the best book to start with. 🙂

5. Acknowledge their sounds and actions. When Avery started blowing raspberries, we made sure to return the action and let her know what she was doing. Now that’s she’s babbling a lot, we repeat (as good as we can) the string of “words” she spouts out and encourage words like “momma” and “da da”. Lately, Avery has become an expert at sticking out her tongue on queue and it makes my wife and I so proud!

6. Play music. You don’t have to have “The Wheels on the Bus” on repeat, play actual music, whatever you like, and it’ll be fine. This is a big one for keeping sane and having some kind of background noise at all times. Almost every day, I turn on Pandora with a mix of my favorite channels and frequently sing out loud with Avery staring at me in bewilderment. Despite the strange looks you might receive, have no doubt that your kid will pick up on words that help expand their vocabulary. For this reason, I tend to stay away from the Eminem station….

Although you can never fully escape the awkward silence when you’re an at-home parent with only one kid who’s not yet talking, these six solutions will help get you through this time and help build your child’s speech and learning skills as well.

Have you made use of any of these before?

Do you have other tips/advice to share?

My Wife is Leaving Us + Friday Foodie Fun Facts: Beets

Now that’s a title with a mixed vibe, huh?

There’s the dark and gloomy (sounding) revelation of my wife leaving, and then the seemingly cheerful “fun facts” for beets. The two things have no place together, and yet, they’re there.

Well, no worries, my wife, Going Mom/Kelley, is not leaving in the divorce sense or even anything related to our relationship; it’s for work. Still high on the suckage scale, but no where near what it would be if she were actually leaving.

Before the sun rises on Monday morning, she’ll head to the airport to fly way up North for business and will be away for 2 full nights and not returning until late on Wednesday. I think the term Boo pretty much sums up my feelings on this.

Kelley has only been away from Avery once when we had our 7 year anniversary last month, and it’s been several years since her and I have been apart! Not that being away from me is a concern, it’s Avery she’s really going to miss.  And who can blame her? I mean, just look at that sweet girl.

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The majority of Avery’s calories still come from breast milk, so I’ll be breaking into to our reserve supply in the freezer just as G-ma had to when she watched Avery for our 7 year anniversary. There didn’t seem to be an issue then, so I’m hoping for no issues this time too!

I have no idea what it’s like to have to pump, but I understand how much trouble it already is for my wife, and having to do it while traveling won’t help matters. Kelley, I’m sorry, dear, I wish I could do more for you in that department. Just know what you do is highly appreciated and it gives our little girl the best source of nutrition! Of course, you already know this! 🙂

I have a feeling Going Mom will be adamant about getting quality time in with Avery before leaving for what will seem like an eternity, but really only 2 nights. Saying “2 nights” sounds better than “3 days”, don’t you think? It’s all about perspective.

While Kelley is gone, I’ll be able to test my true stay-at-home dad skills and feel ready to take it on. Avery, like any baby, can be challenging, frustrating, and confusing, but she’s also sweet, fairly active, and….well, still confusing. No matter what, I’ll make sure to enjoy it and of course keep Mommy filled in with lots of pictures being sent her way.

Hopefully we’ll both be so busy during the day that time will pass and she’ll be back home to us before we know it. Hopefully….

In the meantime, Avery and I can try out the delicious organic red beets we received in our co-op delivery this week. Beets are one of my favorite veggies, and I was excited to have them sent to us. I’m the only beet lover in the house, so naturally I’ll be the only consumer too. We will try giving them to Avery a little later when (hopefully) she reduces her tendency to throw food on the floor. That would make for a nice, red-stained rug in no time!

As I like to do with all of the food I eat, I looked up several fun facts on beets and wanted to share them here for Friday Foodie Fun Facts. All of these facts and more can be found on this page.

  • Beet juice, known to increase endurance, could boost libido, too. Its nitric oxide increases blood flow to the extremities.
  • Betacyanin, the pigment that gives beetroot its color, is an antioxidant so the humble beetroot could be the key to beating your hangover! Betacyanin speeds up detoxification in your liver, which enables your body to turn the alcohol into a less harmful substance that can be excreted quicker than normal.
  • One of the earliest known benefits of beetroot is its use as an aphrodisiac during the Roman times. It has been found to contain high amounts of boron, which is directly related to the production of human sex hormones. There’s no proof it has the same effect as Viagra, but you can have fun trying!
  • Beetroot contains betaine, a substance that relaxes the mind and is used in other forms to treat depression. It also contains tryptophan, and amino acid that helps promote a sense of well-being.
  • The red pigment in beetroot is used to color strawberry jam as well as to improve the color of tomato paste, sauces and strawberry ice cream.
  • Platina recommended taking beetroot with garlic to nullify the effects of ‘garlic-breath’.
  • You can use beetroot juice to measure acidity. When added to an acidic solution it turns pink, but when it is added to an alkali it turns yellow. If you consume a lot of beets/beet juice and your pee turns pink, you have low stomach acid, but if your pee is still clear or yellow, time to “turn up the beet”!
  • The Oracle at Delphi claimed that beetroot was second only in mystical potency to horseradish, and that it was worth its weight in silver.
  • In many cultures the belief persists that if a man and a woman eat from the same beetroot then they will fall in love.
  • If you boil beetroots in water and then massage the water into your scalp each night, it works as an effective cure for dandruff.
  • In 1975, during the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project, cosmonauts from the USSR’s Soyuz 19 welcomed the Apollo 18 astronauts by preparing a banquet of borscht (beetroot soup) in zero gravity.
  • Since the 16th century, beet juice has been used as a natural red dye. The Victorians used beetroot to dye their hair.
  • Beetroot is a water-soluble dye, and hot water seems to ‘fix’ the color stain more, so use lukewarm or cold water to avoid staining. To cure the inevitable ‘pink fingers’, rub with lemon juice and salt before washing with soap and water. On fabrics, try rubbing a slice of raw pear on the stain before washing, or rinse in cold water before washing in a biological powder.
  • The world’s heaviest beetroot weighed 23.4kg (51.48lb) and was grown by Ian Neale from Somerset in 2001.
  • Beetroot has one of the highest sugar contents of any vegetable. Up to 10 per cent of beetroot is sugar, but it is released slowly into the body rather than the sudden rush that results from eating chocolate.
  • Catherine Zeta Jones is reported to have become addicted to beetroot after eating it while pregnant with her two children.

Now that’s a lot of beet facts you can’t “beet”! Yeah, pretty week, but once it’s in my head, I can’t stop myself. Please don’t “beet” me. Oops!

Have a great weekend!

What’s the longest you’ve been away from your baby and/or spouse?

Do you like beets? If so, how do you like them prepared? I prefer raw or steamed the most.

One Thing I Miss About My Old Job after 6 Months of Being a Stay-At-Home Dad

It doesn’t seem like half a year has already passed since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad, but here I am, stay-at-home daddying (it’s a word) with our precious 8 1/2 month old daughter. I have to keep repeating “precious” to myself as she’s in teething mode and wants to make sure everyone knows.

No I'm not!
I don’t want these things in my gums!!

Her screams get progressively louder as if in competition with herself and she refuses to be outdone. How long do they say this takes? Around two years? Damn.

But, I remember saying goodbye to my office job and hello to my new office a.k.a. home and how much better I felt. Needless to say, I’ll gladly to listen to screams over getting on another conference call to discuss the “how’s” and “who’s” of whatever was going on at the time.

Walking out the doors for the last time.
Walking out the doors for the last time.

I’ll stop there since I could easily get myself “worked” (ha ha ha) up and blab on about my despise of having a desk job. We aren’t made to sit so long and be so sedentary as we……oh, crap….see, I’m still doing it!

Anyway, life as a stay-at-home dad started off slow with a baby who could only eat, poop, pee, cry, and sometimes smile. Luckily, babies experience rapid growth and Avery is surprising us with new skills/abilities almost every week!

Now at almost 9 months old, she’s a very mobile crawler showing signs that walking isn’t too far away.

DSC_0514

I know everyone says that’s when I start to go crazy because I’ll always have to watch her, but I’m still excited. Before I know it, we’ll be able to wrestle, play outside, and go on (short) hikes.

Going Mom has to remind not to get ahead of myself and try things too soon. What? Is it that bad when I get on the ground and push our baby in an attempt to wrestle now?

Seriously, dad?
Seriously, dad?

Oh….okay then, I’ll ease up.

I know I have a more meaningful role now than I did when employed, and am ever so grateful we are able to make this work for our small family.

I’m extremely grateful for my lovely wife who goes in to work each day and handles various situations way better than I ever did/could. Then, when the workday is done, she comes home and helps deal with whatever is going on with Avery. Thank, Kelley, you are appreciated more than words can describe!

Visiting a local brewery for my 30th. Avery slept most of the time.
Visiting a local brewery for my 30th. Avery slept most of the time.

Speaking of, although I’m happier and more proud as a stay-at-home dad than my old job, I do miss one thing; my wife. Yep, we worked for the same company, in the same building, and even in the same office.

I was the only person in the building with a desk converted to standing and I could look over and see her desk not far away. We would talk to each other through the company’s internal messaging service and visit each other’s desks frequently.

Very rarely would we miss a day of going on a walk together around the nearby trails before having our lunch. There were times when we would give each other notes or share a laugh at an inside joke no one else understood.

My wife is my best friend, and now I don’t get to see her as much as when we worked together. I miss her, I miss our walks, and I miss being able to walk over to her for no better reason than to just say “hi.”

The good thing is that our relationship has grown even stronger since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad. Gone are the days of me stressing over work and letting it drag me down at home; now the time I do see her means more and we both recognize it. Sure we still have are disagreements like any couple, but they’re (usually) over fast and we get on with life.

So, in the end, it’s a worthy trade-off we are both happy with and it seems to be working for our family of three. I still go on a daily walk, but with Avery, and again with both of my girls if time is permitting.

Yes, I’m still adjusting to the stay-at-home life, but after 6 months, I feel good about our decision and am ready to continue down this path of daily obstacles and adventure.

Do you or would you ever consider working in the same office as your spouse?

Have you been both an employee and a stay-at-home parent? Which one are you now and what do you prefer?