Tag Archives: stress

Outer Banks Vacation: Going Home is Bittersweet

The day had come, we were going home after our week long family vacation in Corolla, NC. You know that bittersweet feeling of finally returning home where you can get back into the normal routine of things? Bitter, because vacation is over, but sweet because you’re happy to be in the comfort of your home again.

Unless you totally despise home. In that case, the end of vacation is probably all bitter. For us, we were ready to get back to focus on our daughter getting over her staph infection. It wasn’t worse, but not better either. On the bright side, she was in good spirits as we woke her up at the break of dawn to cram into our Chrysler Town & Country rental.

going home, kayaking, outer banks, vacation, family, north carolina, beach, ocean

Uncle Paul, Aunt Tammy, and G-Ma were told by a local business owner that the traffic gets backed up worse than someone on a low fiber diet and we should leave before 6 am. We were planning on getting a little more sleep and leaving around 9 am, but didn’t want to challenge the local’s advice.

At just past four in the morning, we started our day loading the van, cleaning around the beach house, and double checking, then triple checking to make sure we didn’t forget anything. Once all was said and done, the family stood outside to say goodbye. Paul, Tammy, Grandma, Aaron, and Noah were driving North back to Pennsylvania, and G-Ma, Kelley, Avery, and I were heading South back to Texas. Aunt Tammy snuck in some goodbye snuggles with Avery who was not quite 100 percent awake.

Aunt Tammy with Avery_OBX Vacation

These two spent quality bonding time together during the trip. Avery even learned surfer speak from Tammy, she’s been saying “Hang ten, dude.” since we left. My brother Preston and I bid our farewells to cousins Aaron and Noah next.

Brothers and Cousins in OBX Vacation Pic

G-Ma posed with her little brother, aka Uncle Paul, for the last pic before climbing in the van.

Mom and Uncle Paul_Outer Banks Family Vacation

No clue why I don’t have a picture of us with Grandma, but never fear, we gave her lots of love too. We were already behind on leaving before tourist traffic had us sitting forever, so we waved goodbye to our beach house and started the journey to the airport.

Outer Banks Family Vacation Beach House

Sand Piper treated us well, but just ask Dorothy, she knows there’s no place like home. A few pit stops later and we were in Newport News to eat at Whole Foods Market just as we did on our way in.

Everyone made use of the omelette and waffle bar in Whole Foods except me. I had cooked enough awesome local tuna from the night before and expected to chow down on the perfectly cooked, fork tender fish fillet. But fate had other plans; I left the damn thing in the fridge wrapped in foil! Ask anyone, I wasted a good thirty minutes brooding over this unfortunate blip in my memory. Silver lining, Paul and Tammy had packed it and hopefully enjoyed every savory bite.

This time, we had a couple hours to hang around since our flight didn’t depart until 7:05 pm. Yeah, waking up before 5 am for a 7 pm flight is way down on my list of cool things in life. Good thing the shopping center had a small playground.

Avery spent a good hour with non-stop play on the enlarged animals as G-Ma, Preston, and Going Mom visited the surrounding shops. Luckily, G-Ma didn’t show up with another giant pink dolphin.

The cook at Whole Foods had given me a leftover waffle that I said I wanted to give one of the homeless guys walking around the parking lot, so that’s how I spent most of my time before heading to the airport.

Side story: we saw the homeless guy the first day we came in and got worked up when he approached us, cigarette in hand, and asked for money. Uncle Preston really wanted to give him a mouthful, but we never got the chance. No giant waffle for the homeless smoker I guess. We got over it pretty fast.

The trip to the airport only took an hour, and turning in our beloved rental van was easy. This left us with close to four hours of hanging at the Richmond Airport. Sure, plenty of people have to wait much longer, but this is my story, so I’ll whine anyway. And four hours with a toddler feels a lot longer!

For whatever reason, security check found my bag to be of interest which led to me getting searched, full body style. This helped pass some of the time, and luckily they never found whatever they thought they found so I was allowed to pass go……..but I never collected $200. Instead, Avery and I searched for our own money around the airport.

Looking for Money at Airport on way home from OBX

We never found $200, but we did find two pennies. Hey, it’s two of something, right? One was from G-Ma though. I think Avery figured it out.

Waiting at airport with g-ma

For snacking, I unwrapped a giant cucumber I bought at the local farmer’s market and proceeded to share with Avery. Good thing we’re both Nuttzo Fanatics!

A photo posted by RC Liley (@going_dad) on

Don’t knock it till you try it. NuttZo + anything is almost guaranteed to be delicious! To make things awkward, an old lady who was working as bartender approached me and asked where I learned to eat a cucumber like that. How do answer a question like that?! My wife just shook her head in shame. Sorry, Kelley.

The time had finally arrived to board our flight for the last part of our journey back home. With all of us in our seats, including Pinky the Dolphin with Avery, we were on our way to DFW.

On plane home from OBX with Pinky the Dolphin

Throughout the day-long adventure, Avery had done surprisingly well at keeping it together. I would’ve lost money if we bet on how long until she broke down. It wasn’t until we walked in the door to our home at close to 11 pm that she finally let the lack of sleep set in. Not helping things was coming home to more potty (pee and poop) stains from our cat all around the house. Kelley frantically dealt with an upset toddler as she cleaned each mess one by one and I prepared a quick meal for everyone.

Stress levels remained high, but it was nice to be home. We all cleaned up, got Avery in her bed, and sat in front of the TV to pass out to HGTV. Wow, what a trip! Vacation was over, but there was more to be done now that we were home, including get rid of Avery’s staph and my looming shoulder surgery.

Routine Maintenance As A Stay-at-Home Parent

Search the web or ask other stay-at-home parents around you and one of the first bits of advice you’ll hear is “Find a routine!” This doesn’t just apply to at-home parents, of course, it’s absolutely vital for all parents.

As I moved away from my full-time job at the office into my new role as a stay-at-home dad, finding a routine was high on my list of priorities. It’s been two years now and I have been pretty good about sticking to a routine and not straying from my schedule. But, that doesn’t make it a good routine.

For one thing, this created havoc on my brain when the weekend rolled around and Going Mom was home. Of course I love my wife through and through, but I was thrown off and would find that I had trouble managing this for a while….a long while. Some days I’m not sure how she even put up with me, and some days she didn’t. I deserved it.

The weekends were bad enough, but going on a trip was even worse sometimes. Yeah, it was vacation, a time to cut loose and relax, but I had so much trouble enjoying the time because it simply was not my routine. There were other factors like finding acceptable food and whatnot, but getting out of my comfort zone (i.e. routine) was the big culprit.

I’d fight with myself saying to just enjoy time with friends and family, as that makes sense, but I’d still have trouble. As time passed, my stress management from daily, weekly, and monthly changes had me on an emotional rollercoaster. I made myself miserable.

If I couldn’t workout at the same time, go on walks at the same time for the same distance, cook meals for my family, vacuum the house, get Avery down for a nap at the same time, prepare dinner, and then kiss the girls goodnight as I sat up too late on the computer, there would be a stress bomb exploding in my head. All because this “sacred” routine was broken. As a result, I’d be cranky, snap at my wife or daughter for petty reasons, and simply no fun to be around.

I would talk to my wife about it every now and then, but never letting out all of my feelings. Finally, I broke down and let it all out telling her how everything got to me and how much I hated being like this but didn’t know what to do. Being the loving, caring, and pretty much always right wife that she is, she gave me an ultimatum.

Start meditating, doing yoga, or something to better manage my stress, or within three weeks, I would need actually seek help from a doctor about my stress. Whoa, doctors? No thanks, seeing enough of them for my shoulder as is, and I refuse to resort to prescription meds as a way to cover up the stress and anxiety.

We’ve had similar talks before where I said I needed to change, but they rarely lasted longer than a month. But this last time was different, and everything had built up more than ever, so I committed to make changes for the better.

I used to start my day by waking up right as Going Mom left for work. I’d then get Avery up and fed as I prepared dinner for the night and lunch for my wife to take to work the next day. Most of the time, I’d fail to get much food for myself, and then proceed to try and get in a workout with Avery in the garage. Trying to perform a set of heavy squats with a screaming toddler behind you is enough to drive monks up-the-wall-insane, which only further exacerbated my already high stress levels.

I’d finally eat after Avery went down for a nap and then plan on eating mostly late at night when everyone went to sleep. This meant staying up late and getting little sleep for myself. Thanks to my wife and the help of Shawn Stevenson’s book Sleep Smarter, I find the main cause of my routine stress; SLEEP.

Going Mom had a simple solution, try going to sleep earlier. Whoa, mind blowing! I’ve thought of doing it before, but held on so dearly to “my time” at night and just didn’t want to change. Well, I pushed my selfish thoughts off to give it a try.

Instead of staying up to stare at the computer for a couple hours at night, I went to sleep the same time as my wife. Here’s the kicker, I woke up earlier feeling better than before, had some tea/coffee, and got my workout in before Avery woke up. The fear of missing a workout is a big concern for me, so taking care of that right off the bat immediately puts me in a more relaxed state.

From there, I have a just enough time to prepare breakfast for Avery and myself before I get her up. Then we eat at the same time and have time after to actually do more without me stressing out so much. This has been going on for just over a week and I notice I feel much better/happier than I have in a long time.

Do I still get stressed? Of course, it’s completely normal to get stressed, in fact, it’s part of how we as humans have survived, but chronic stress can literally kill us. Not because of a saber tooth tiger, but from work, family issues, body image, traffic, etc.

Needless to say, making just one change in my routine has lead to having a more fulfilling day with my daughter and wife. I have plenty of minor details to work out, but sleeping earlier and smarter has solved the bulk of my issues. Having that stress-free time in the day to have genuine fun with my wife and daughter is something I will cherish forever.

routine, stress, happy, family, changes, stay-at-home

That’s what really matters. Missing a workout is no big deal, and I know it, so hopefully I’ll work on fully accepting it when that time comes knowing I’ll be able to jump right back on board soon again.

If you’re having trouble with your current routine, try and find the one thing that will lead to many more positive changes throughout the course of the day. For me, sleep was the big one, maybe it is for you too. Whatever the case, seek it out and change for the better. Trust me, you and your friends and family will be happy you did.

Nerves, Needles, and Stress: Our Story of Trying to Conceive

While I have received compensation for this post from Fertility Planit, all opinions are my own.

Before we had our daughter, my wife and I never considered that becoming parents would be so complicated. Once we were ready to start trying to conceive (TTC), she would just get off birth control, wait several months, and we figured pregnancy would come easily and naturally after that. My wife tracked days/cycles, took her basal temperature you do as you begin trying to conceive.

Almost a year later and we were still not pregnant and becoming a little upset. It didn’t make sense, we never went out to eat, cooked all of our meals with fresh, whole foods, drank only in moderation, and always kept active. What were we doing wrong to that was keeping us from getting pregnant?

We decided to make our first of many visits to a fertility clinic to see what was (or wasn’t) going on. After running the usual tests on both of us, the doctor found several factors working against us. Kelley had endometriosis which was surgically removed, and my blood labs showed several abnormal readings including low testosterone and thyroid.

I didn’t want to accept the results as true. I strive to live a healthy and active lifestyle, and this is all I have to show for it? I felt defeated. HCG injections were prescribed twice a week to combat my low levels. Self-administered shots in the lower abdomen at home became the norm every Thursday and Sunday each week.

Time passed and my blood tests showed my levels were barely up. The doctor suggested we try intrauterine insemination (IUI) as it seemed like we had a good chance with the procedure. I was prescribed natural thyroid, and Kelley was given several prescriptions which required injections. She cringed at the thought of giving herself shots, but luckily she had a husband who had become proficient with the task.

After 2 failed cycles of IUI, the doctor suggested In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), and we both agreed to give it a try. To stimulate the growth of her ovaries, Kelley needed 2 daily shots in her stomach. One to help her eggs grow, and another to help keep them from over-growing since Kelley was expected to respond well. The eggs grew just as needed and were ready to be retrieved.

After retrieval, Kelley needed a progesterone injection to prepare her uterine lining for egg implantation. Instead of her stomach, this one had to be given in her rear-end.

I’d have to work within a specific area of the buttocks, use enough force to get through to the muscular region, make sure the needle went in straight, not angled, and make sure no blood came into the syringe as that meant I did something wrong. This was to happen every day precisely at 7:00 p.m. for several weeks. After this, I figured I should be a pro at giving shots!

Several injections later and we were ready for implantation. We had many high quality embryos to choose from and picked just 1 since 1 kid was our goal. The first round IVF was a success, be we still had to do the shots to keep her uterus in good condition for the newly implanted egg.

The first positive pregnancy test Kelley took was almost missed. She woke up at 5:00 a.m. since it’s better to test after not using the restroom for a while and took a test. She didn’t see anything, so she tossed the stick in the trash and came back to bed upset.

Later that morning, I was going to throw something away and saw the stick and what appeared to me to be a faint line. I had no clue how to look at a pee stick or what it meant, so I kept it to myself. Kelley did the same double take at her trashed test and noticed the line too. She mentioned it to me, I grinned, and we both gleamed with excitement.

Today, we have a precious little girl who means the world to us. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing, but we’re glad that part of our past is over. It wasn’t fun, but so worth the outcome. We had never heard of the Stork OTC by Rinovum Women’s Health home conception kit back then, but now I wonder if it would’ve saved us a lot of time, money, and stress.

trying to conceive, pregnancy, babies, parenting, infertility, fertility

The Stork OTC is an easy to use, drug-free, non-prescription conception kit that couples can use in the comfort of their own home while trying to conceive. It is the only at-home conception device cleared by the FDA and is a great cost-effective option for those just starting out on the path of trying to conceive. The Stork OTC collects semen into a cervical cap with a condom-like sheath worn during intercourse. There is the option of using donor sperm with the device as well. The sperm is then delivered to the opening of the cervix by way of the applicator. The cap remains in place for up to 6 hours, after which it is removed with a simple tampon-like pull chord.

My wife and I both agree that we could’ve tried the Stork OTC as our first option and avoided many doctor’s visits had worked out. If you or someone you know is trying to conceive, check out the Stork OTC as great option to use in the privacy of your own home and avoid numerous doctor’s visits and tests.

Be sure to follow The Stork OTC on Facebook and @StorkbyRinovum on Twitter as well as checking out the Stork OTC website to learn more. For a chance to win your own Stork OTC device join the #StorkStories Twitter Chat on 4/21 at 9pm EST.