talk Archives - Going Dad

Me: Hey Avery, want to hang out with Dad in the garage while he exercises?

Avery: You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s cold in there and you make loud noises as if you’re actually doing something.

Me: Well, you have your Zippy on which keeps you pretty warm, and I can put your kitty beanie on your head. And hey, I make those noise because I really am doing something! It’s called exercise.

Avery: Oh, exercise huh? So, why do you exercise? It doesn’t sound like you’re having fun in there.

Me: Exercise is a very import thing for everyone as it’s one of the ways we stay healthy. There are many benefits to exercise like helping to control weight, improving your mood, fighting against poor health conditions, promoting better sleep, and it actually is a way to have fun too.

Avery: Hmmph. All I’m saying is those aren’t fun noises you make out there.

Me: Well, it won’t always be a blissful time, but I always feel a lot better afterward. Plus, I need to exercise to be able to make sure I can keep up with you! Soon you’ll be using your legs to run around and I will have to keep a close watch on you. Maybe when you’re walking you can start doing squats like you see me do in the garage.

Avery: What?! Those things where you really make loud, painful noises? Pass….

Me: Yes, squats and I have a love-hate relationship, but they are simply an awesome exercise. We’ll work on you with those. Really, exercise can be anything active. Just going outside and running around playing is exercise. Something I hope you, mommy, and me will all do together. Right now, when you are rolling around or in your jumper, that’s exercise too. You see, so exercise can be fun!

Avery: Interesting, I didn’t realize you and mommy screaming at me as I strain on the blanket just trying to get off of my back was exercise. Are you going to scream at me when I can run around too?

Me: Most likely, we will at times, but not as much when trying to get you to roll. But hey, you can roll both ways now! We are so proud of you!

Avery: Yeah, I’m proud of myself! That was stressful!

Me: So, how about that garage now? You can watch me and take notes for when it’s your turn to do squats!

Avery: Oh brother! Fine, lets go out there, but don’t forget my kitty beanie!

Me: That-a-girl! Here we go! I know you’re going to have a blast watching now that you know more about the benefits of exercise!

Avery: Zzzzzzzzz

Me: And once you’re legs are parallel with the ground, you lift the barbell back up and repeat for reps. Think you’ll be ready to lift one day now that you have the basics down?

Avery: Zzzzzzz

Me: Hey sleepyhead! You’re back inside now. Did you know you just slept the whole time we were in the garage?

Avery: Yawwwwnnn! Yeah, sorry, must be that whole “improved sleep” from exercise thing. I tell ya, that rolling wears me out.

Me: Yeah……..must be. Well, I know something that might be exciting. How about going for a nice run with you in your stroller?

Avery: That sounds kinda fun, sure! But keep me in my Zippy, I like chewing my nubs.

Me: Deal. Let’s go.

Avery: Oh boy, this will be exciting!!!

Me: *breathing heavy* Well, how was it? We went 6 miles and I didn’t hear you make a single sound!

Avery: Yeah, not as fun as I thought. I felt Every. Single. Bump.

Me: Awww, sorry about that, the stupid construction around here leaves debris all over the road. Very uncool, huh?

Avery: Dad, you’re uncool, this is boring.

Me: Okay then, lets go inside and just hang out.

Avery: I like that idea, no more exercise today!

Me: Back inside, nice and cozy! About that whole no more exercise thing…..how about cheering mommy and me on as we do Tabata Inferno again?

Avery: Oh geez, what choice do I have? Okay, I’ll watch, but probably not cheer. Maybe cry though.

Me: Fine, I’ll try to keep you entertained the best I can. I thought you like it when I do burpees though.

Avery: Nope, I just stare because you look dumb jumping around so much.

Me: Oh, thanks a lot, I love you too! One day I’ll get you to join me on those along with the squats. Okay, lets go practice your rolling skills. Maybe later we’ll mow the lawn with our new Fiskars Reel Mower while I wear you in our Onya Outback!

Avery: You’re crazy! I want mom!

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Avery: Dad, why do you always have that thing in front of your face while making silly noises at me?

Me: I’m sorry, Avery, I didn’t know it bothered you so much. This thing is called a camera and it is used to take pictures of things. In my case, I love taking many pictures of you because you are just sooooo beautiful!

Avery: A camera, huh? How does it take pictures?

Me: Well, this is a DLSR camera and images it captures are saved to a memory card inside the camera. Here’s a quick description from the How It Works website:

“A DSLR (digital single-lens reﬂex) camera employs a mechanical mirror system that directs the light travelling through the attached lens upwards at a 90 degree angle allowing the photographer to compose the shot through the viewﬁnder. As the shutter button is pressed the exposure takes place: the mirror swings out of the way and the shutter opens allowing the lens to project the light on to the image sensor.”

Avery: I just pooped.

Me: Oh crap……ha ha, pun intended. Okay, bad joke, let me get you changed. How about that blue cloth diaper you seem to love so much in this picture?

Avery: Dad, you’re the one who likes that diaper so much. But sure, I’ll take it if it will make you happy.

Me: No, not really.

Avery: Oh…….

Me: Okay, all changed into a dry diaper! And about what I said, I was just kidding, you ALWAYS make me happy!

Avery: Really? Phew, I was getting a little sad. You and Mommy make me happy too. Except when you put me on my stomach…..I despise that.

Me: Yeah, Daddy just likes to joke around a lot. You may as well get used to it now because I’ll only get worse as you get older. But, you and I can work together to get mommy really good! Plus, Mommy is the one who always wants you on your tummy.

Avery: Hmmm, I don’t know if she’d like that. Oh, and I know it’s you always saying “It’s Tummy Time” right before bed when I’m already exhausted from crying and sitting in my chair. So don’t blame Mommy you meany. Are you sure it’s not bad for us to play jokes on Mom?

Me: Of course not! It’s all for fun and games and mommy loves games! But, you have to promise not to tell her when we have something planned. Can you keep a secret?

Avery: I won’t say a word.

Me: Okay, good, thank you. Also, there will be times when you do something for the first time while mommy is working, but we have to keep those a secret too. So, when mommy is home and you do that thing again, we will act like it’s the first time. Then, everyone is happy, okay?

Avery: Mmmmm, I don’t know. What’s in it for me?

Me: Well, maybe I’ll do less Tummy Time when you are already extremely tired.

Avery: Seriously, that’s all you have to offer? Weak.

Me: Okay, okay, I know that’s a lot of secrets…… How about Mommy and I extend bath time and I won’t wrap you in a swaddle where your arms can’t move anymore?

Avery: Yes, that is a lot of secrets, but okay, my lips are covered. Literally, see?

Me: Ha ha, I like your sense of humor. I wonder where you get that from? At least secrets aren’t lies though; lies are bad and we don’t tell lies in this house.

Avery: Yeah, no lies, not telling those to Mommy.