toilet Archives - Page 2 of 2

Nothing like a few Friday bathroom puns to pass the time until you officially start the weekend, right? Obviously, I could do more than just bathroom puns, but then I’d never get crap done. Ba-Zinga!!!

Wow, we’re off to a great start already! I’ll be sure to keep things moving to avoid a clogged brain. Butt first, I want to share what makes me so happy to say “goodbye”. We are done with bottles!

As you can see, Avery was a little hesitant about putting them up, but I told her she has new sippy cups to use since she’s older. She asked to use a bottle just one more time, or maybe she was flipping me the bird…..

Whatever she was saying or telling me, the bottles are gone now and I’m happy to put them behind me. Her last use of the bottle is documented on yesterdays Milk Life #MilkDrive campaign post. Which, by the way, would be totally cool of you to help our Southern team of dads out and donate for the great cause. I mean, I am giving you bathroom puns here. 🙂

Yeah, please help families in need. Oh, and tell me where the bottles are hidden.

It seems like she should’ve been done with bottles already, but I think this is quite normal, especially for breastfed babies. Which, by the way, my awesome wife is still nursing like the rock star that she is! Now, about those diapers……

Ahhh, diapers, perfect segueway to bathroom puns; enjoy!

All of the toilets were stolen in the police station. Detectives have nothing to go on.
A man was having issues peeing and asked his doctor what it meant. “Urine trouble.” the doctor said.
Constipation is a pain in the ass.
My whole family has problems with diarrhea, it runs in our jeans.
Urinals are pretty tough, they take no crap!
You can never hear a pterodactyl urinate because its P is silent.
A house without a toilet? Seems uncanny.
Everyone had fun at the park, but after dropping my watch in the toilet, I had a crappy time.
The toilet was backed up from feeling crappy, but when I said it had beautiful porcelain skin , it was flushed.
Life as toilet paper has it’s ups and downs. You’re either on a roll or taking crap from some asshole.

True, some of these are corny, but I think a lot of us will agree that the cornier the better. Right? Anyone?

Well, I hope you don’t feel like this was a waste of your time. Enjoy your day and have a great weekend!

When did you get rid of the bottles for your kid or are you still using bottles?

Do you think it’s easier with or without the nippled containers?

Bathroom – A room containing a bathtub or shower and usually also a sink and a toilet.

Solace – Comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness

No, I’m not sad, far from, but as a parent, aren’t we all a little distressed? If you said no, what pills are you taking?

As I was minding my own business looking at other people’s business on Facebook, I happened upon this picture from Someecards.com:

I am not a woman, and I only have one baby, but this pretty much sums up how I feel.

One reason I look forward to the weekend so much is that Going Mom will be home and I can sit in peace in the bathroom when the need arises. And shi….I mean sit in peace I do!

For the other five days, Avery gets to hang with me every morning around the same time (consistency is good!) while she stares. Or, sometimes, I get lucky and she’ll just fall asleep…

Poor wife, she has to wait on me to make breakfast on Saturday and Sunday morning, but I usually have an extended “me time” in the bathroom. 30 minutes is usually the max, then it gets uncomfortable; probably like you if I go any more into detail. Sorry.

But at the same time, not sorry. I mean, as a parent, you have to be comfortable with bathroom (i.e. potty) talk. I’ve only been a dad for 5 months, but I have a feeling poop, pee, and even puke (the three P’s) are a big part of raising a child.

If you’re a soon-to-be parent, get comfortable with the three P’s now. Practice by talking about how you need to tend to your “business” with your friends and family.

While at a big social gathering for the holidays or any occasion, just announce when you need to go; add how badly for extra points. Awkward looks will follow, but stand strong and flash a confident smile as you walk to your announced destination!

Many people see potty talk as taboo, but it’s something we all have to do and should be able to speak freely about. You don’t have to go into specifics, I do with certain people, but there’s no reason not to talk about it with others in general.

It’s quite obvious I am comfortable with and even enjoy bathroom talk from some of my previous posts…..

Going Mom and I are very open about our bathroom ventures and I feel our relationship is that much stronger because of this. Hiding anything is never good in a relationship. I mean, amiright? We even all go to the bathroom together! Whoa, not like that, just to clean it….

Protesting the cleaning by slouching and kicking her Firefly toy off... — Protesting the cleaning by slouching and kicking her Firefly toy off…

I don’t want Avery to be scared to discuss her bathroom needs either, so we’ll all be open together. If you ever engage in conversation with us, just be prepared!

I have always enjoyed bathroom time as my peace and quiet time, but now I’ve grown to seriously cherish it. Vacation? No thanks, I’ll just go poop.

What are your thoughts towards talking about the bathroom?

Do you refuge in bathroom often?